New Year New Beginning !

Year 2010 is approaching tomorrow and oh boy that is quick right. 2009 just went in a blink!.

Looking back at 2009.
- I can't think really what has happened throughout the year except for the recent one. I know I work pretty hard since I am in project all the way this year ..3 project to be precise so no time wasted just work and work harder.
- I had the opportunity to work fr home pretty frequent. Frequent enough till the kids are so close to me.
- We made a few trips this year. Local and overseas. We went to HK, Bali, Singapore, Penang, PD. Not much really .... especially for local trip ...(which i'll have a new year resolutions for this)
- Now I remember, we are pretty quiet this year because we are renovating parkland house and moving in this year. All the time and money spend thinking about the renovation, buying furniture, electrical stuff, curtain and oh boy a lot more. That is one of our major achievement for this year.
-I had a business trip to Nigeria. A wonderful experience eventho it's during ramadhan. Hubby has been travelling a lot too. Contribute to a quiet year to me.
- Major refinancing. We bought another house, is not a plan purchase but we thought that we should buy it for a various reasons. The purchase has a great impact to our financial and if it doesn't goes according to what we plan for then we are in losing situation. But if it does ! Oh boy am I not the happiest person in the world. We refinance our parkland house as well to be under my name since the new house is under his name. Owh we do not share name for our properties, accounts since if anything should happen (God forbid) it will be easier for both sides to manage the situations. The other reasons for refinancing is to take advantage of the lower BLR, change our insurance plan from MRTA to MRLA and the new loan is a flexible loan that should help us to reduce the interest paid and hopefully pay off the house sooner.
-What else hurm we are supposed to try for our third one. We succeed at first but God has a better plan for us. Hence the miscarriage happen during my birthday week.
-Finally the kids. So many great achievement from them. Like Fawwaz being potty trained. Aariz and his math...he really loves math more that other subject. Owh he loves science too experimenting things. A lot more to write but I keep on telling you guys things that you have known ;)

So 2009 is quiet for me cos we don't go for jalan2 a lot. I really need a travel fix every month but due to our hectic schedule and also financial...we have to stay put this year. But overall I am pretty satisfied with our parkland house and our new hse purchase cos it increase our networth. Major spending where we used a big portion of our cash means 2010 is a recovery year for us.

So 2010 what are we up too?
-Career hubby and I need to work hard to make sure we are relevance to the market ;) Especially hubby right ;) But we still don't know what's going to happen really.
- Travel, hubby has allocated 2 minor travel or 1 major travel (overseas) only for next year. Other than that all will be local travel which is a good idea. This I can start to plan ahead and really looking forward for that!
- Still blur lah...for 2010. I just know the fact that we need to save more to fix the damage made in 2009 (saving year peeps!).
- I have to concentrate more on kids especially Aariz. He's going to school 2011 means I need to ensure he is ready. And more headache to think where should I put him for primary school.
- Owh project for new baby shall continue. But it will be later in 2010 cos I don't want to miss Aariz first day at school.

Happy New Year all and hope it's gonna be a better year for all of us!

When I grow up I want to be....

Aariz asked me today why God created us and the world. Why people get old and die? And why he need to grow. So I explain to him about circle of life. We are created by God to make good things, to learn how to live, to take car of the world and so on so forth. I told him that we all grow. First you are baby then you become big like Fawwaz then bigger like you then like Uncle Jeyin (my brother Azrin) then bigger like Papa then older like atuk then even older like moyang. So when you are baby grown up people like mama and papa will take care of you, when the time come, we will be old where we cannot take care of ourselves. Then you need to take care of us. People will die and baby will be born.

Then of course he will be giggling as usual can't wait to grow bigger so that he can do what he want to do. And of course waiting for the moment where he is bigger that his parents...so that we can scold him anymore.

Later after lunch he still thinking about it and ask me again that is it true one day he will be big like Uncle Jeyin. I said yes. Then Fawwaz who are listening to our conversation frowned. Are you sure mama abang will become big like Uncle Jeyin. His face shows that he doesn't belief that it could happen. So I said yes Fawwaz you will grow big like Aariz then bigger like Uncle Jeyin one day. Then suddenly get very excited. He said , I will grow big like Uncle Jeyin and abang still small so that I can hit abang...Err why lah this kids can't wait to grow up and have a sweet revenge. Sigh.

Kindergarten story

Lately I don't feel anything to write or spill over here. Pretty much exhausted at the end of every day. Get motivated and demotivated with my work depending on the respond from the team member. Thinking about where am I heading too in the next few months. The kids, the school, the house, financial, works and a lot more going around my head. Nothing in specific that I can think just yet, everything is still in pieces like a puzzle.

On the other note let's talk about the kids. Yeah what else la kan. Last year we send them to a kindy near to our house. Suppose the kindy is good and I know the teacher is somewhat better than the previous kindergarten Sma** Read** where I find it's a bit disturbing to have a teacher yelling to a pre-schooler. No I am not the type of parents who think my kids is always right. Having a mischievous kids with lots of thing running on his head I know is a bit tough handling them. But is a bit sad to see how the teacher handle kids nowadays when they yell instead of reasoning with the kids make them afraid of the teacher rather than respect them.

So when I send to the second kindy with a fair expectations since I know most of our teachers for kindy in Malaysia don't have Early Childhood Diploma but instead being train by the franchise itself. I just hope my kids get to learn basic reading, math and have some fun. I can close my eyes when I saw the receipt or the message book is written with some wrong spelling. Maybe they are in hurry so the just do mistakes. I still can accept that when I have told them that hey you might want to take body temp of each your students during the H1N1 seasons just to be on the safe side but no action taken. Also when my kids bring back lollies or snack from don't know who the manufacturer, whether is halal or not which we do not dare to buy or give to our kids and since they are screaming in the car to have it stime we just let it be. But when during the year end concert, they are using an adult pop song as the music. I get very annoyed. You know when your kids go home and sing a song with a cursing word and keep on repeating it. For God sake this kids are babies and they are not suppose to be expose with this yet. Not sure about you but when the the lyric contains word like *itch and *uck it is really get into my nerve.

I get very irritated. I told them upfront earlier about the songs and how I feel before the concert. Interestingly it still being used. During the parents teacher meeting again I mention about my thought where they are many more appropriate songs can be used, dance steps can be tailored better for 6 years and below children. And the respond given were, at the center level (means when they do inter-kindy concert) they are using the same song (from a different branch) and the center are ok with it. Well I told the teacher that then it might be something wrong with your program and your center then. The songs is inappropriate and they are no parents complaint at all ? The answer is no...No parents complaints. So as if I am one crazy parents that think the songs is inappropriate.

It's interesting that I get that kind of respond where rather than sorry received I keep on hearing that the center and other kindy with their parents is OK with the songs and how the concert is being done. I might be orthodox I might be over protective. But hey my little kids are just 5 and 3 years old ok.

So now we are changing kindy again. A new center open a bit far from my house. Means my routine starting Jan 2010 will change. We have to wake up early get ready early so that I can send them in time for school. The new center is huge and well equipped. It's spacious which I kinda like it with a science lab, mini libary, computer room and a kids gym. The only thing is that if I were to send him for extra activities means both of them will retire by 3, the lunch served is not by muslim. Even tho they ensure us that the menu will be chicken or fish only, but they can't ensure that the meat is halal. So If I were to send them to the after kindy program I need to pack lunch for them. Why after kindy program...hurm I need to give my parents a break as well from taking care of the 2 little boys. Other than that if they go home early the routine will be watching TV from 1 to 3 or 4 pm anyway. But that will not be for Jan or Feb, maybe March onwards depending on the situation.

Well not easy having kids nowadays especially when you want the best for them. I'll try to relax a bit and not to be a kiasu parents. Hopefully the new one is OK and Fawwaz can continue later until he is ready for the primary school. As for Aariz ..poor fellas. He has been changing kindy for the 4th time since he started at 3 years old. One good thing is that he easy to adapt...but the cons...I am sure he is a bit confused with a different system on how to read, write and count.

The pening of being parents doesn't stop here. I am now thinking about where should we put Aariz for primary school on 2011. One year to think !

When D&C is not required...

We wake up early, send the kids to my mom's house and off we go to see my gynae. I am scheduled for a D&C today if the thing still there. But as what I have predicted I am not required for the procedure.

After we went for the check up last week I started to bleed and it's getting heavy day by day. The peak is on Wednesday when I felt something slippery came out and off I rush to the toilet. There I saw a white ring around a blood clot and that was the sac for my unborn child. Good thing that it happened naturally as I am pretty frantic with the thought of having a D&C. The bleeding reduce after a few days until I met my gynae today.

She did an ultrasound and saw just a small amount of blood clot still left in my womb. Small that is not necessary for the procedure. However she gave some sort of pill that need to be inserted in the vagina to help the blood clot to come out soonest. Err not really sure how to do it and I haven't done it yet :D.

Other than that she gave me some antibiotic to ensure no infection on the womb. I have to do a blood test as well to ensure that my HCG level back to normal. From my reading on the internet and base on some of my friend experience I could tell that the test is to rule out any molar pregnancy symptom which is good.

When it comes to this kind of situation where we are not sure what is best for us especially when it is first time...get help!. I did ...husband and family help a lot to lift up the grief from me. They spend time bringing me out and keep me busy. I made a few phone calls to my friends who experience the same thing. Pretty good advice and at least I get to manage my expectation towards my situation. Of course by searching the net to understand what's happening to me make me feel much better too. And lastly I blog about it..let it out from my system and by spilling out I get to understand my feelings better and move on.

3 mama and 2 papa

I wish I have 3 mama and 2 papa. Aariz told us last night. Reasons being is because one mama can sleep with him, one with Fawwaz and the other one with Papa. Being papa always want to lock mama with him in the room every night and not give a chance to the kids to sleep with mama make them so jealous of papa.

Papa of course not very happy since the kids love me so much right. So he ask how about him. 2 papa is enough according to Aariz. One for us (aariz and fawwaz) and one for mama. I laugh...since looks like they can share papa but not mama. Am I not the happiest person in the world? Being loved by my 3 heroes ;)

Anak-anak saya

Advert posting di bawah tu cume testing. Sebenarnya dia bermula dari aksi saya blog hopping. Dari satu blog ke satu yg lainnya ada la beberapa posting pasal advert tersebut. Menariknya walaupun tajuknya pasal budak yg curious seharusnya gagah dari dalam. Saya berimaginasi tentang budak2 yg beraksi lasak ataupun bergelumangan dengan kotoran. Yeah imaginasi saya tinggi. Tapi kebanyakkan posting adalah bersama anak2 yg berpakaian menawan dan berposing supermodel ihiks.

Lantas terkenangkan terus zaman kenit2 saya semasa zaman persekolahan di kiwiland. Wah memang terkejut saya hari pertama kembali dari sekolah. Macam baru balik berkebun ataupun berperang. Bajunya masyaAllah. Cantik betul....hasilnya setelah habis hampir dua tahun kami di sana...70% bajunya ada pewarna tambahan. Kesan yg kami dapat tu berpanjangan kisahnya. Sampai sekarang ni susah betul nak yakinkan pada mereka jgn la diconteng2 baju yg ada tu. Terutamanya bila duduk di rumah. Mmg habis dikerjakan. Macam semalam. Baju Ralph Lauren warna oren yg papa dia belikan. Bibiknya pakaikan di rumah...dah tentu kalau saya perasan saya kata jangannnnnn. Pakaikan aje baju2 buruk kalau di rumah. Kerana akhirnya baju oren itu diserikan dengan bintik2 biru dari magic pen hasil dari main perang2 di dalam bilik. Jangan la tanya saya apa kaitan main perang2 yg akhirnya ada bintik3 biru itu. Yg saya nampak hasil kreativiti mereka...terhasil la pedang panjang setelah di cantumkan beberapa lego, yg boleh masuk dalam kaki meja plastik (meja dah tak jadi meja...empat2 kakinya jadi pedang) dan dihujung lego tu tak pasti bagaimana ada lego berbentuk panjang boleh muat magic pen...dah terhasil la pedang sakti yg bermatakan pen magic kaler biru. Mungkin kalau dah kena bintik biru tu indikasi mengatakan yg lawannya dah mati ke? Hurm imaginasi budak2 zaman skrg.

Jangan mula dengan aktiviti main diluar. Memang di luar kawalan. Nak ditegah karang terbantut pulak curiosity mereka. Jadi dibiarkan sahaja. Tapi bila sudah dibiarkan... Wah boleh mati anak katak dikerjakan mereka. Owh tapi mereka tak la hero sgt. Kalau nampak ulat ke cacing yg meliuk2...geli jugak mereka tu. Cuba2 nak jadi berani tapi terjerit satu kampung jugak jadinya. Kalau neneknya dan datuknya tanam pokok jadi di gali tanah dimasukkan anak pokok jadi tumbuhla anak pokok. Datang anak si kartini ni...di galinya tanah keluarkan pokok. Ape la nak jadi kan haha. Sudahnya datuk nya buatkan satu kawasan yg boleh di gali dan dikambus sesuka hati.

Tapi disini kita bekerja travel time sahaja sudah mengambil masa. Di kiwi land...balik pukul 5...530 sudah sampai rumah dah masih ada masa untuk buat pelbagai aktiviti lain. Jadi memang kadang2 terkenang2 zaman disana. Walaupun semua perlu di buat sendiri tapi kita masih ada masa yg lebih banyak utk diri sendiri, keluarga dan kawan2. Membuatkan saya terfikir bila lagi suamiku ni nak dapat overseas posting. Hurm tgh mode berangan. Owh saya dalam mode nak post gambar2 kenit masa di sana. Nantila yer. Malam nnt ;)

Curious Kids Need to be Tough Inside

How I ensure that my two little heroes that is curious enough to explore things become tough from the inside ?

You’ll see as parents we want the best for our kids. 1001 rules we try to apply to them to ensure that they are all safe, clean and proper. Though we forget that the best immunization comes from their body to fight it naturally.

When I first got Aariz I am pretty concern when he plays with dirt. Each time I will try my best to get him cleaned, feed him well with good foods means a lot of veggies and fruits which is a battle. I remember when we were in Miri we send him to nursery where they bath them like 3 times in a day, play in the compound and we end up pick him up clean and well feed but not a very happy child.

I am sure a lot of parents did this..when they spill the water we get upset. When the play in the puddle we said no. When they explore and open the component of the remote or the toys that we bought them we scream. When they climb and open the Tupperware and start to play with milk or milo we said no as well. When they try to feed themselves we said no fear of getting the designer shirt that we bought the get spotted from the food or the drinks or the crayon and water colour that they are holding.

Things change when we get our New Zealand assignments. We have to send both our kids Aariz which just turn 3 years old and Fawwaz that is 8 months old to playschool since both of us is working. Things are pretty different there. They let the kids to choose their activities and do what they love to do. And what they love to do means they are free to play indoor or outdoor. Be it with the mud sand or water. Climbing and jumping and running and cycling...do whatever you want to do basically. They let the kids curiosity to lead them wherever they intend to explore. Imagine our horror for the first few weeks when we have to scrub them almost half an hour everyday to remove their face painting, not sure what tangling from their hair and those dirt that trap in between their nails ?? Let alone their shirts which I do not care to scrub anymore. Let it just be coloured with whatever painted on it.

Our routine changed dramatically there. Since the curiosity being fulfilled and their brain keep on stimulating by doing what they intend to do the most, their eating habit become much better. It is no longer a battle. They’ve been taking milk, yogurt, cheese, rice, meat, fish and fruits without no complaint. Even for the little one. I’ve been packing their lunch and some extra finger foods and all be gone by the end of the day. The playschool provide finger fruits, veggies and crackers with cheese during morning tea. And according to the teacher Aariz and Fawwaz is taking their food well. I take it since the brain is running and they are doing many physical activities the body just tell them to get the right food so that they can keep on going.

Of course during the first 6 to 8 months both of them keep on getting cold and fever and also diarrhoea. It could due to the change of weather, the food or the outdoor playing as they are becoming extreme on what we used to say no before. Since we know that the kids get exposed to the germs more that they used to be, a good formula milk like Friso® Gold come in handy. The nutrition from the milk can help to boost their own immune body system to fight bacteria.

Now after almost 2 years we are back in our own soil Malaysia. I start to let them be curious in their own way. It is sad not to get the same quality of playschool back here in Malaysia as we parents are very concern with their hygiene rather that to help them explore and satisfy their curiosity.

For us parents to Aariz and Fawwaz we decided to stay near to our parents house which still a virgin village. There they could still play bicycle at open space, explore the mud and the drain, looking at the caterpillars, beetles and worms alive. Well not really looking ...most of the time they just pick them up and examine the insects themselves!

Surprisingly after the series of fever and cold for the first 8 months in New Zealand. They come out as healthy boys. Hardly catch any cold or fever and if they do..they recover quite quickly with minimum helps of medications. Tough kids I have and it’s all starts with their curiosity that help to build their body immune system.


(even the papa germs above get dissappointed when the Friso kids kill the baby germs!)

(Aariz is washing away the germs from him)

(Fawwaz being amused with how many germs try to attack him. Sorry dude you have failed!)

(Shoosh away germs...I do not need you over here!!!)

Batu api

The bleeding has started to get heavy. So I told hubby, luckily we went to see the doctor on Saturday. If not we have thought that the miscarriage could happened due to what I do, due to traveling or maybe because I work day and night lately.

Then I look deep into his eyes...and said, you might thought it's my fault too! Of course hubby deny it quickly. I said ...it's written all over your face that day...and a tiny voice from the back of the car continue. Yes pa it's written all over your mouth, nose and eyes too....

Hubby were laughing and said see.. you have batu api on your side. No need to introduce further of course that is my dear Aariz :)

Losing

I am 2 month pregnant. Had a very big tummy...To tell you the truth, I gain 4 kg and I can't wear any of my existing pants!. We had plan for this about few months ago...Been really trying for the past 4-5 months and no luck. Until one day I get very confused with my eating habit. I ate a lot ...and get hungry very soon. I missed my period too. So I told hubby to buy the tester but he refused as we had done that a few time before and the results are all negative. He came back with one tester anyway and I test and yaiy it's positive. We start hoping...

The boys are excited too. I start to tell Fawwaz that he no longer a baby but boy ... he keep on insisting that he is the baby in the house. Till last week with a little help from Aariz we manage to convince him that he is going to be little brother while Aariz is going to be the big brother. He agreed...and so do all the little hero trick suits him well. Since Fawwaz is not on diaper anymore and he drink fresh milk alternate with formula from glasses. The only thing that I need to train him is to eat by himself. Aariz is already independent ... he can do most of the thing by himself except washing his own poo. Well we are determine to get him ready for that too before our third one coming over.

Till the day on my birthday after flipping over facebook and do my blog posting I decided that why not we just go for the prenatal check-up today. Suppose I want to postpone to next Saturday but I had a spotting and light cramping. So why not just give a visit a week earlier. I had my pre-birthday celebration on Friday with our kids tagging alone with lots of food and shopping ... and maybe there is a reasons why we had a celebration one day earlier. We leave the kids at grannies home and off we go. We waited for a while...hubby reading news on his phone, I played game on Aariz PSP we are so calm as the boys are not running around and we just had our quiet time together.

The nurse called me in and the doctor as me to lie down to do the ultrasound. When she start looking for the baby the first thing she ask were I just pee as I am not suppose to empty my bladder before the ultrasound and my heart start beating. I haven't go to the toilet yet for this morning and it's already 11 and my bladder should be full. So why the baby is not there. I guess that time hubby face start to change as well. She start to ask me if my pregnancy symptoms start to disappear and a few more other question. No I do not know what to answer cos I don't have my usual pregnancy symptom like the other 2 boys which is hurm pretty bad. I just feel hungry all the time, the tiredness, the big tummy and yeah that pretty much about it. Finally she found the sac. It was empty like 2 weeks before. It grows but not as what expected. Then all the questions and answers and explaining starts. It is called a blighted ovum where baby either never develops or stops growing at a very early stage in pregnancy and then disintegrates -- but a gestational sac does develop and the body does not recognize that the baby is missing. No hope were given to us. One week to see if it will go by itself means natural miscarriage or a D&C required.

I do not know what to think for a second. We keep quiet for a while. I always thought all this while I can really pull through if miscarriage does happened to me. After all the baby does not exist yet. Boy I was wrong. All of sudden tears just went down and it does hurts!. I guess it hurts because we have plant our hope. We think we are ready but maybe God has a better plan. We never know. Saturday on my birthday we spent time thinking about it over and over again thinking about it until we realize. It's a small gift that God has taken from us. It could have far worse if the lost will be any of us. For those who lost their child in any circumstances or any of the family members and now I know the feelings of losing.

For all the gifts and the happiness that I gather all this years...The wonderful family I have, health and wealth, opportunities and many more good things that has happened. I thank God for all the blessing and also the small reminder ... the feelings of losing. But one should not stop to hope for a better days to come.

I think I feel much better now. I just have to go through it. Even now I know that the baby is not there, but my body think otherwise. Funny that today it start to choose to show more pregnancy symptoms. I start to feel like vomiting in the morning. So that is the hardest part for now...To live in the body that think that I am still pregnant. Which base on my reading on the net...it will continue with all the symptoms and my tummy will still grow bigger until the miscarriage happen.

I know we will try again soon...see how our rezeki that time. But if it's written that I have to live with my 2 boys for the rest of my life. They are still my greatest gift of all.

30 and going for number 3

Going for the big number 3 I never been more happy than ever in my life. So many I have achieved as a person, wife, mother and daughter. And I could not thank my husband for all the support he has given to me all this while.

So what do I get for my 30th Birthday ?

Unconditionally love from husband and kids. You open your eyes and your husband whisper Happy Birthday. Your kids sing you a birthday song :D

Special pre-birthday treatment from hubby and kids. What excited a girl more that a shopping spree :p

An Open Heart pendant that is nicely hidden that I finally found it at home.

And......we are welcoming junior number 3 as well !!. Well I am in the midst of craving for food but none really satisfied my taste bud.

Enough said. I am going to enjoy the rest of the day demanding for total pampering from hubby and the kids...and of course enjoying another year and more to come with wonderful things that happened around me.

Open Heart by Elsa Peretti

Reasons why I love hubby more. Despite of him annoyed me most of the time....

ps: he might get annoyed with me once he saw I post this :D

Macam macam

I have lot's to update especially cerita bila bebudak ni nak yak yang boleh di buat satu entry post.

Anyway enjoy this one first taken from my sister's facebook.

Aniza Karim aariz went to iqra' class... he's learning: ba alif mati atas baaa... ba ya mati bawah bii, ba wow mati depan buuu... then he asked, USTAZ KENAPA BA MATI?? YAA TEMBAK BAA WITH GUN THEN MATI EKK??? ustaz said he taught ngaji for years and for once there's one kid who asked why BA mati.. hahaha, kesian ustaz cos he have a lot to go!!!

I wonder when he start schooling later...maybe I'm gonna get a lot of phone calls from the school :)

Fawwaz my little hero

Fawwaz is 3 and going to 4 next year. Since we had him I like to call him baby and so do my family. Expecially when we want to pujuk him la...you know second child always mengada lebih right (no offense to all second child out there hehe).

So now he is no longer baby but keep on insisting us to call him baby. For his size now and hey he is a boy I can't no longer let this continue. So tonight he did something nice to me...I was asking hubby to bring me some drink since I am still working and suddenly Fawwaz came with a glass of water and said "nah mama you drink plain water ok" and put nicely next to me. Well well my baby has become a a big boy. I called him back and told him this. " Fawwaz you no longer a baby ok ...from now on you are my hero...little hero". He noded and he smile....

Good news and bad news...

The bad news is...I cannot continue my tomato drink. Because of some reasons that I'll state here later. So hubby will continue with the tomato drink...and I guess you guys will see his face glowing more than mine haha....

The good news is....erm update nanti la eh ;)

Cheeky boy Aariz

Aariz and Fawwaz are my fav topic. But most of the time rather than writing it here, I prefer to discuss it with hubby. He missed out a lot of the antiques cos even I work odd hours or extra hours. I have the most important time with the kids...which is early morning when the wake up and at night before they sleep.

Aariz as everyone knows he is cheeky and talkative. The more he knows things the more he can twist his words around. On the way sending him to his grandparents home before I go to work he will ask me about things around. Like hey that side looks dark...it's gonna rain soon. Then we will start to talk about rain...Like why is it raining everyday now..then I start to explain to him about angin monsun and yadayada...

Yesteday he fell down from the kitchen bench at atok house. Of course this is because he is playing and jumping around. At first when nenek told me I ask him how is he, why is he falling and so on so forth. Later when he become a bit naugthy I treathen him to tell his papa that his fooling around and fell from the bench. The he pause and say...the other day you jatuh I tak marah you pun. I kesian kat you. Why I jatuh you marah me... Erkkk hehe...Ok la he got a point here.

Actually the other day there's an incident where the auto gate of my house fell off on me. Why I tell you in another post if I felt like writing it here. Anyway he saw it (he's in the house that time with bibik) and screaming and rushing out to help. That day till few days after that he look after me ask me what can he help me and give me a free massage whenever I feel pain at my back. I am so touch with how he care me and he really does. He keep on asking if I am OK ensuring that I am not in pain and I have to sleep with him for a few nights because I feel very save with him. So since that day I do put more respect on him cos he really have a big heart for a small boy like him.

Next we have a visitor for the last few days...my cousin with his little toddler (is a girl btw) and both of them (Aariz and Fawwaz) are very thrill with the visit.They stays at my father 's house (they actually visiting my grandma who stays with my parents). Both of them play heroes....they have a motobike and they carry little Qistina (1 year plus) around the house. It's cute to see these 2 mat rempit carrying the little girl around. The last night I was playing with Qistina hugging her and play peek a boo with her. Both my boys watching (little bit jelous I think). Then Aariz said.. "Ma you wish for me but now you love Qistina more". Don't know where he get that idea but I spontaneously respond "You are by accident dear"....and he look very annoyed and start to play by himself.

I know it is not very kind to respond that to him since he already understand what I am saying but I just love to tease him. So after a while during our journey back home I start asking him why he thought I love Qistina more and so on so forth. Start explaining about he's status as my son and how much I love him and showing love is just not by playing like that and yeah a lot more explaining and more why from him.

The good this is Aariz is very reasonble when we start to reason with him and of course it must be with a good reasons with good example. Having him and seeing him grow day by day is a wonderful things and I really appreciate his age and how he responded to me each time we are in conversation. Of course they are trying time when he just become him. But knowing how busy his dad nowdays having Aariz as my chatting companion is very fullfilling.

Well talking about Aariz is already one long entry. I do have story to share about Fawwaz but I guess that will be in another post.

Tradition

We all have a tradition...Depends on who we are, where we come from. Tradition might be carried from family, culture, race, religion and many more...


I was reading my niece status on the facebook. Actually my hubby's niece. She's married to mat saleh and they are staying in States. It's a tradition to celebrate the pending birth of a child by presenting gifts to the parents. Usually the baby shower is host by someone else close to the mom... Funny that my niece send the invitation card and hubby were asking her what is baby shower...huh typical man!. Anyway of course it is not popular here,hence explain why hubby is not aware about that.


Contrary to the Malay tradition, baby shower is something against the elderly believes. I remember when I first carry Aariz....at around 7 months we already bought the baby cot and the stroller. And the elderly around me (including my mom cleaning lady) already start singing into my ears on why do I buy all this earlier and da da da da. Then I learn that hey it so against the believe to prepare anything ...not a single thing before the arrival of the baby. The reasons being is if anything should happend (God forbid) the mom will not be stressed out to see the baby stuff without the baby. Okay my mom still stay in village area and they are quite a number of elderly around so yeah...all the pantang to nenek I know ok. Well since then I go slow and hide almost everything :D.


Of course these days we are modern people and we don't really care about all this belief and what so not. With the 40 days confinement (yes 40 days for me) where we are not allow to go out (yes outing is no no as well at all) how on earth are we going to do shopping for the baby. Unlike here in Malaysia, in New Zealand I know for sure the momment you go out from the hospital the baby must be strapped in the car seat. So at least the baby car seat must be available even before we go to the hospital. That goes our pantang tok nenek not to buy anything for the baby...


The other tradition that I note here which happend to my first baby Aariz. I received a lot's of visitor from the village where my mom stays ( I had my confinement here). Our generations might be comfortable to bring gifts, but the elderly will insert some money underneath the pillow of the baby. I keep on observing that and you know what...that is the one tradition that I follow. Rather than giving gifts, I am more comfortable just to insert some money underneath the pillow of the baby.


Nowdays buying gift is a confusing task for me. I do not know what to buy and if they already have what I intended to buy. Especially when it comes to second or third baby....and parents nowdays...they already have cool, imported gadgets for their babies...So err what else can I get for them hehe. Of course unlike baby shower they already have a list of what they want and people will need check if the item is there or someone else has bought the item then only they will buy the next item that is still there to choose.

Anyway back to the status in the facebook by my niece...It's bring dejavu to me during my pre-pregnancy days and of course it's kinda sad not to be around when someone close to you are expecting. It is a wonderful momment you see. So for my niece take care...and I might be sharing some of other pantang tok nenek during the confinement period that you can laught on it or if you might can use it if it's relevance. I used to have a good laugh on certain of the pantang...but hey some of them really works haha.

Skin obsession

I am obsess with facial care. But not obsess in doing the routine itself. I'll enroll myself to intensive facial programme with a reputable product and buy a lot's of skincare product.
The reasons why I am obsess is because I have a problematic skin. Since I was teenager I had a very oily skin with lot's of pimples, blackhead, whitehead you name it. That time I don't have the luxury to buy a good product or to seek a profesional help. It's pretty embarassing actually.

During my Uni days, my mom bring me to see a doctor and he prescribe me with some medication. It works to reduce my acne and along the way I tried a few local skincare product and my skin become better. However my acne still there together with the blackhead and whitehead.

When I start working and soon after that decided to get married...I want to resolve my acne problem. So I start to research for skin care center that can help me with my mission. I went to Bella Skincare. It was pretty expensive... I think I roll into a program that cost me 3k for maybe 12 times of facial treatment. But the results was wonderful. I stop after I finish the program and continue with Clinique product. This is when I start to travel a lot. So I solve my acne problem for a while...then I start to travel and my skin start to dehydrate as well. It get so severe when I was in New Zealand. The weather is not helping at all.

So when I get back here...I roll myself back to Bella Skincare. This time with more expensive program. The treatment was good but they start to ask me buying serum each time to fix my issue. I mean I already paid for maybe 300 worth for each facial treatment and now I need to buy serum that cost at least 100 per bottle? Earlier I just play with it buy a few box of serum and each time I go to their facial I get the same comment. My skin problem does not resolve. I get annoyed now cos I really have invested for quite some money and they keep on asking me to by for more so I stop buying and just ignore them when they complain about my face. It's not working anymore ok. I'll just finish whatever treatment remaining and not coming back here.

This entry is leading to this. While I am still suffering with my dehyrdration skin issue and of course some acne scar is still visible on my face. Hubby best friends introduce us with one product Stevico. First is a fibre drink that should remove toxic from your body. And they have this tomato drink that should can help your skin to become softer and smoother. According to them usually we apply collagen or take collagen into our body. But this drink help to build the collagen withing ourself. So I tried....Well I think I just took 10 sachet for now...but I am happy with the results that I would like to blog about it!. The laugh lines that I have and I've spent RM prev for the serum - still come back after a while is now slowly fading. My skin is glowing and even hubby compliment my skin nowdays. I am now waiting untill I finish my 2 months period (need to drink the tomato drink for 2 months) and see if it's really work. The end results according to them who have tried, it will reduce your fine lines, smoothen your skins, your eye bag, dark spots due to the expose to sunlight or ageing, old scar could be reduce or even better gone.

I will post another report after 2 months to see if any improvement from drinking this product. If yes...the I'll be recommending this product for all of you out there ;)

Mini Oreo Cheesecake

This weekend I have a project. Secretly I think my mom admire my baking skills. Each time I bake a new recipe and it turn out good ( ok they are some of my baking stuff tak jadi as well) she will ask me to bake for her friends, kenduri, surau makan2 or anything lah.

Latest were my oreo cheesecake in mini cup. Well I bake according to the recipe and manage to get around 40 plus pieces....All gone within my family members tummy including Fawwaz which is a huge fan of the cheesecake. So this coming weekend she ask me to bake for 120 pieces to bring for her bestfriend's daughter engagement ceremony. I just hope that my cheesecake turn out well ...

People like to ask me if I learn to bake or how I find the recipe. For me it is simple...find the recipe that is realiable, tested and preferebly with pictures. I'll go with the recipe that people has tried and commented on it. But sometimes I just try my luck to test any recipe that I find intersting. If it doesn't turn well then ... I try another recipe.

Owh and I do not learn how to bake from classes. I search video for some tips and tricks. Eg: earlier I am not sure how to bake a cheesecake...from the recipe it ask you to do some stuff that I am not familiar with. So I google for the video. Choose a few video and yes that is where I learn.

Whenever I couldn't find some of the ingredients and too lazy to go to the shops to find one....I google for substitues...eg: if you dont have a sour cream..you can substitutes plain yogurt with half of lemon juice...They are many more that you can find out by googling. Some cakes need special ways of baking or even mixing.....just google around the net and you find a lots of tips and tricks on how to make a good cake, cookies, pastries or anything.

No I am not an expert yet. I am Mrs Google for recipes...that is how I learn to bake. So again if you ask me how do I do this and that ...I cannot answer just in a blink (unless if I have experience it soo many time)...I need time to google to find the answer.

So here is the recipe for Mini Oreo Cheesecakes. Credits goes to Martha Stewart and http://52cupcakes.blogspot.com/2009/07/martha-stewarts-cookies-and-cream.html

Ingredients:42 cream-filled sandwich cookies, such as Oreos, 30 left whole, and 12 coarsely chopped2 pounds cream cheese, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 large eggs, room temperature, lightly beaten
1 cup sour cream
Pinch of salt.

Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Place 1 whole cookie in the bottom of each lined cup.2. With an electric mixer on medium high speed, beat cream cheese until smooth, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Gradually add sugar, and beat until combined. Beat in vanilla.3. Drizzle in eggs, a bit at a time, beating to combine and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Beat in sour cream and salt. Stir in chopped cookies by hand.4. Divide batter evenly among cookie-lined cups, filling each almost to the top. Bake, rotating pan halfway through, until filling is set, about 22 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool completely. Refrigerate at least 4 hours (or up to overnight). Remove from tins just before serving.