Friday, August 27, 2010

5 hari lagi! Jeng Jeng Jeng

5 hari lagi nak start keje.....owh tidak!!!

They are still a few outstanding task in my baking cookies for raya....seriously I just have 2 types for now!... so kena gigih buat kuih raya this weekend.

And of course being me...I really can't stop myself to invite people for makan2. Have not done this for quite a while and as I mentioned before, since we stayed far away from civilization. People hardly come to our house if we don't invite them. So I'm taking this opportunity to organize a small buka puasa together with mini celebration for Fawwaz's birthday. This is his first kinda formal birthday celeb...and still considered mini since it false during Ramadhan. Not much activities we can do (I mean during this holy month takkan nak huha bagai). Thinking of getting some bunga api but's really hard to get any now. Maybe mercun pop la pun yg ada kots! As long the kids are happy I guess that's ok!

Aariz school registration almost complete except that we don't have his immunization details. Then sek agama still pending for confirmation. Fawwaz we almost certain to continue with his current kindy since he's progressing well even though he get's a lot of punishment....

Hurm apa lagi....some minor shopping and house cleaning...the minor shopping I'll gladly resume when I start working. Hai tak tau la how I can be berjimat cermat with my new office location. Owh please remind me that I need to buy balang kuih raya ya (though no kuih yet...tapi balang mesti ada)

Owh and my facial and hair salon visit haha! Will need to get that done before start working as well.

OK peeps...have a nice long weekend (for some of you ;))

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Plan

Revisiting life plan is always our favorite topic as husband and wife. We measure ourselves, our family for a 5 years plan. And it's amazing how we change as a person in that period of time. Now days besides 5 years plan we already start to look at beyond that. Reasons being well we are not getting any younger. Any plan that we want or will execute, we have to decide now. By the age of 40 or 45, the least that we want to to is to change the plan. By that time we have to settle with what we have. Doesn't means that we already give up or something...but we have to be prepared to live within our means with what we have and start to plan on how to live our life during our golden years.

The career
So lately we start the conversation again. With my change of career and new pay scale we have to do some restructuring. Hubby on the other hand is re-evaluating his career. Like me, we start to think that our SAP career is almost at the peak already. Nothing much it can offer us in terms of personal development or to fulfill our satisfaction as person. We have to love our work to love our life. That's what we believe. And at this age is either we change or we gonna stuck here forever. We have 5 years more to revisit our career and decide if this is it. After the age of 35, it's kinda hard to go for a career change anymore.. that's what base on my readings and also the opinion from my recent interview with the selection partner of my new workplace.

The education
Then we look further on our children, and family. This is where we need to have more that 5 years plan already. Where to put them on their kindergarten (which we already done that), primary school (decided) and next secondary school (few options) and finally their higher education. Well to be honest, I am totally freaking out about where should I send them to their school. With all the negatives comment of our education system and also the jinx about homeschooling or private school, well who doesn't? Or maybe just me? But anyway since we love to talk about things and I am the person who like to justify all my actions so that I am comfortable with the decisions I made. We finally put some conclusions on the long term plan. My father once advice hubby that we plan and stick to it, even financially/things change, we have to stick with the plan. So this is the plan that we sort of drafting / agree for now.

We both agree that currently sending them to a multiracial kindergarten is good for their social skills and understanding culture. I want them to understand colors are just colors and what make people difference are their heart. So far they are mixing well, pretty liberal, opinionated, and most importantly they are having a good time. I just hope that this is a good start / foundation for them to get to know the world and it's people.

Next, the decisions to stay to my parents maybe seems weird to some people. People always question why do we stay far far away from urbanization. To be honest, I don't get any visit from my in laws or friends that often unless if we formally invited, due to the reasons that we stay way back in Klang. Well I will not back off from that as this is for my kids... I want them to get the childhood that I have. The freedom of roaming around and explore stuff. So here we are. Proudly I am going to send them to the kampong primary school. Though I question myself so many time about this. But hey look at me, look at some people that I know off, they've done pretty well. I guess upbringing plays important role on their development as well. My justification to hubby on this, hey the kids need to know their roots. First they are Malays and they need to see with their eyes and feel it to be among us Malays. So that we know why we are so behind, what we can do to help or to improve, see how fortunate we are (or prob not) to be expose or to be lucky to have what we have. And also to appreciate and learn on what are some of the villagers still have. Courtesy, rendah diri, respect the elderly, sopan santun things like that. I know I have and I did, knowing my friends and be friend with them no matter how rich or how poor they are, their heart are all pure. I still hope that the values is there left for my kids to learn and experience themselves.

We had a conversation about education the other day on the quality of the teachers. Teachers who make their career now as just cari makan, to earn some money. Not passionate to mendidik anak before. Well I do remember that during our time some teacher are really dedicate (though they are few saiko teachers haha, I shall keep that to ourselves). But teachers who go to the extra miles to teach budak kampong on weekend for free like Cikgu Jamil. There is this one teacher (Cikgu Shikin), she is our Scout teacher advisor. Well she also goes to the extra miles, doing scout activities like cycling in the jungle (more to kebun) during weekend. Teacher Suzanna, with her English slang trying to teach budak kampong to speak in proper English, it's hilarious. But hey those teacher's exist during my time and I still hope they are pure heart teachers who love to teach the kampong kids at my former school like before. I almost certain Aariz and Fawwaz will complete his primary school here at kampong.

Looking forward for the secondary school, we know that this one we have to do something more serious about it. I have rejected the idea of sending them to the boarding school. Unless if in future they are multiracial boarding school. I want them to get back to the multiracial secondary school. The other day when we are looking for our next new home, we have considered a few places like Setia Alam or Shah Alam or even Alam Impian. As we try to look further (even with the ridiculous house price) we put a pause and start to rethink. Where should we send our kids for their secondary education? Hubby look around in Selangor and found out that school in PJ rated as no 1 and Klang rated as no 2 in the whole Selangor. So our choice to stay in Klang is already a good choice. But we also have a choice to move to PJ. After some thinking considering my MIL (that prob gonna stay with us) the other option is to prob rebuild the PJ house and move there. Though they are some debate about how the childhood for our 3rd and maybe 4th child going to be...The plan is to move there in time for Aariz to go for Secondary school. We think that by going to a multiracial school will help them to be more liberal, and can express themselves better. Hopefully with the foundation that they have (roots and religion) will guide them better facing the urban kids.

On the higher level education, I still don't have a final answer on it yet. Cos it will all depending on the children later, what they want to do /be. But we will definitely put aside for each child in case they need fund to further studies. My concept is each child has one chance of us funding their education. We are not super rich to fund each time they fail or think of changing course or anything. They need to be clear on that and they need to note that we have to give a fair chance to their other siblings. Else I am hoping that they are smart enough to apply for university and get scholarships from it. Means the extra money that I already put aside can be used up for our travel plan or maybe upgrade to a nicer car maybe :)

Of course on education it can be re-evaluate from time to time depending on our child progress. I believe each child are unique and they could face the world better than the other or maybe they need extra hand for help. I am not ruling out the possibilities of taking them out for homeschooling or private school (if they have issue with their education or prob social problem). But it would be great if the can go through the system and be strong and prove that they can pull through it. I am tempted to elaborate more on my view about private school and homeschooling but this post is already been a long post so I hold my view on that.

The financial
Of course like others we want to retire as millionaire. Or retire young retire rich...or having our financial freedom. Well we are working on it slowly and progressively. This is something that pretty hard to predict, but the base is already there. And from our career progression it will determine what sort of lifestyle we can have and how we can retire later. What my dad meant earlier about we plan our lives and stick with the plan is kinda traditional but worth to hold on. Like we already plan on where to settle down, the dream house base on our current load (and projected income/load), the education plan and so on. Stick with it even if suddenly we get a huge pay raise or something similar. Treat the extras as bonus, and spend accordingly or better keep it for later. Don't suddenly change the lifestyle due to that as we never know what's gonna happen next. Basically we are practicing that, except that sometime we also slacking here and there...(hubby can roll his eyes reading this cos most of the time I am the one who are slacking). The key is to spend one step down from our earnings, so that we are prepared if worse could happen. Like my career change now, it's a turn of 180 degrees from my freelance earning. Luckily our spending doesn't change that much from 5 years ago, except that we lock ourselves in some commitment/investment. So we turn out still OK. Looking at the brighter side, I don't have to worry about medical, get more stability, with annual leave, bonus, epf etc. This is maybe for our better future. So there goes our plan...I get a job with a better stability and hopefully hubby can climb up further in his career. We keep our spending low, invest more for child education, better life (house), travel and most importantly retirement (and maybe health insurance).

The other aspect of life
We are still planning, like our trip to travel around the world. The plan to be a philanthropist (owh how I am slacking on this)....they are many more in our plan list to fulfill our spiritual needs. Like I always wanted to bring my kids to the orphanage and to the elderly home so that they can see with their eyes people who are less fortunate. I always inspired to go to all this ceramah and learn more about my religion but duniawi still tebal kot. And the greatest plan of course is to perform Hajj by the age of 35 or at least by 40. They said if you have the capacity to go, go when are young so that you can enjoy the Hajj. All this spiritual plan on the other aspect of life are still not outline properly. Well we should spend more time to think of this pretty soon.

So far that is what I can think of about The Plan for our little family, and growing. Is something that I like to share and for me to refer if my plan is still on track. Any addendum to the plan, or will the plan change in the next few years time. Let's see.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Little something abt me and abt Aariz

It will be 11 more days before my break is over. To tell you a secret, I get bored already staying at home. That hubby told me this morning, keje salah tak keje salah !! Isk hehe.

But this is Ramadhan you see (start blaming mode), I tried to fast since I should can fast for every single day. Truly is a challenge for me. Some day I can't eat much or even throw up right after sahur. Leave me feeling super hungry the whole day and make me fatigue and tired not able to do anything. Even if ate properly during sahur, by 10 or 11 I start to get really hungry. Last night when we woke up around 4.30 pm I ask hubby if he felt hungry. Hungry in a sense that really really hungry. He look at me one kind and said no...Then I realize..ok this must be hormone of mine. The baby might need continues supply. Anyway so far I skip 2 days already as I cannot stand the hunger and keep on vomiting nothing. Some other days are fine, if I can fight I can even cook some / prepare some dishes, do some cleaning. Other than that....melepeks on my bed from morning till time nak bukak puasa...
One thing I enjoy so much is to be around with my kids. Other than that feel pretty useless especially if the whole day I end up melepeks doing nothing.

So while I end melepeks most of the days, my little hero Aariz is all energetic. Now he did not complaint on anything about fasting anymore. He skipped twice just like me. Once because during the weekend, after sahur he went for Subuh prayers with his Atok, then reach home cannot get back to sleep and end up playing bicycle till noon and by 2 pm he already lembik....We give him a break. The other time is because he's been coughing, I guess it's more on lacking of fluid. He still can't drink lot's of water like adults did at night during the earlier days...So we give another day off. Guess what he told his Atok ? Owh papa tak bagi puasa. Ceh...But every other days he's been fasting, no more complaints, very energetic, break fast and makan dengan berselera, he learned how to drink more water before went to sleep and during sahur....Everybody is proud of him! I am proud of him too.

Other than that, back to me with another 11 days to go. I try to settle a few stuff like Aariz school registration, to engage part time helper for cleaning our hse (esp after I start working), get done with my kuih raya baking!, hurm what else haha...not much actually.

Short break is always good. I recommend to all mothers to take a break in your career every few years once. I did that every 2-3 years once throughout my career. Once is before we went to NZ in 2006, once after my NZ assignment completed in 2008 and the other is now...the duration is usually a month to 2 months. It gives me the sanity where I get to relax and spend time with my kids. It times to reflect on what I have done and achieved and what more I need for my future. Most important thing, it makes me appreciate my work more and I will always start fresh missing the workforce. So you see, the break will stop you whining about the job, the boss, the task, the colleague, the guilt fr not spending time with the kids, and list can go on.

At the end of the day, what important most is your happiness. You can't keep people around you happy if you are not happy yourselves right ?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

When Nenek get sick

I've got a meet up with Tan Sri today, this is for my new job...Owh not one to one by the will be 1 to 20 that what I've been told. But today also my grandma who staying with us fall sick. She's been vomiting since sahur, which we suspect due to salah makan during Iftar earlier. My mom was not around as she's at kampung to look after her own mom. So my dad need to bring her to the clinic himself.

My dad without my mom around can go crazy sometime. He depends a lot on her but refuse to admit. Well I told my mom the other day that she can't blame him on that....all this while my mom was all around for him. You see my mom is someone that will sacrifice her career for my dad and the family. She still has her career as a nurse...but the further she go is as a Staff Nurse in the Medical Clinic in Klang. She decline for promotion as that will take her time (have to work shift/relocate etc). She work to fulfill her own satisfaction and to get extra pocket money. No more than that. Though I can see her envy some of her friend who become Matron and jump to the private hospital being paid high when we met them sometime. But hey, I guess her friends envy her even more. She retire early, my dad provide her car, bring her vacation around the world...and sometime on business class if he tag him on business traveling. She let my dad to climb his career and her to support him by his side.

Well now as they grow older and left with their own mom to take care off. My dad willingly took his mom to stay with him. My grandma is classic, like some other people from their generation. Let just said a little bit difficult especially when it come to food. She is a very good cook. So it's hard to satisfy her taste bud. At this age (80+) with diabetic, high blood pressure and a lot more, she will only follow her taste bud. Hence sometime when it's beyond control, she can fall sick. Like today. And it can be pretty bad due to her age. As she vomit pretty severe today, and since my dad alone and luckily I am still have my day off, and again we are now have no bibik around well all of us including hubby and my sister has to take part to help out a bit.

There is one system that is automatically generated between myself and my siblings though we are not very close (yes my family has problem expressing love, we all fall under category of tough love) to be responsible at a situation especially when my parents not around or either one of them not around. If both of them are around we lived like a King...ok don't blame us blame them for pampering us :D. Anyway we divided our task for the day like myself have to get some food for my grandma after sending the kids to school (bubur McD - she don't eat anyone else punya masakan except my mom that how difficult she is in term of food. But fast food is ok with her :D). Then have to arrange how am I going to leave the boys at home or not to leave them at home as I need to head to KLCC by 3 pm today. Without bibik I can't just leave them at home especially when my grandma is sick and don't know if my Dad can cope with my 2 kids and his ill mother at the same time. So my sister need to go back early to take over while I'm out for the meet up. The same happened when they are relative who passed away last time and my parent were out of the countries. Automatically all my siblings went back to my mom house and everybody pack some necessary stuff and off we go back to kampung to represent our parents. Well again that spontaneous action will only happened if my parents not around. That is one of many other important things that my parents has successfully thought us. Responsibilities and to be there for our parents.

Why I blog about this. Simply because I am touched to see how my parents take care of their parents and how I feel the same way about protecting my own parents. Nowadays, I don't see that much. I feel very irritated when I see people who just don't respect their parents (although how difficult they are) and how they complaint about their parents even though their parents has pour all their money, blood and sweat to them. Just because when the child embrace their own life, their freedom they felt their parents are just a burden. Come on, remember when we have our own child how patient we are taking care of them. And what do you feel if they treat you like you treat your parents now? Well enough said I am sure that many of us also still have good sense to our parents. Not to deny that sometimes they can drove us crazy as well...But don't that what parents does best ?

Monday, August 16, 2010


Something just alarm me this morning! Owh no...I have not yet complete my yearly vacation yet! With me ballooning and soon to start with my new career which I don't know if I have time (or do I have enough leave) to take a week off by end of this everything looks so messed up to me. I don't want to miss this. Yeah always next year or year after next....but I'm having a baby remember? It takes a while before I can really travel with an infant...Not to mention that Aariz already start his primary school, which mean my travel plan will revolve around his school holiday (or maybe not if I decided that he need to take personal school break :D). OK maybe I'll just start surfing around the flight tix to see if anything can fit me in this near future....No not this fasting month...but maybe right after ?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Ramadhan update

Staying at home mode malas nak update lagi teruk ;)

Anyway since day 1 of fasting I've been drooling and thinking about menu of the day. Not that I'm doing the cooking mom does...but I will sibuk2 asking what and add in one or 2 stuff that I like to have. Like day 1 is begedil...I made it from scratch! Day 2 I am flat like nobody business not sure why... maybe because I went out for a quick facial and the heat just weaken my already weak body. So I did not help much but keep on asking what is the menu for today...Day 3 which is today, my energy just kick back...and I am thinking to make roti john and chicken pie...chicken pie can be frozen and not necessarily to be eaten today... Since I'm making chicken pie, I might just boil some spaghetti to make carbonara for my kids.

Speaking of my kids. Aariz started to fast for the first time this year. Not too bad for beginner as he made it for 2 days in a row already. Though they are few funny things happened in between. Like day 1 after coming back from his kindy, he complaint about his stomach growling. I ask him how often? He told me maybe around 10 times already. Then I replied, it must be the worm inside your tummy asking for some food. Then he close his mouth with his hand and whisper to himself (like his voice going into his body) and says..."worm I'm sorry, no food for you yet. have to wait ya"....haha my mom and I was laughing out loud looking at his innocent face. But that just once he complaint...then he fall asleep, wake up around 4, go the mosque with Atok and play around the house.

Second day he start to get cheeky. I was not at home that time. But I heard that my grandma (his moyang) were screaming at him (well not just people from Melaka they speak at the highest pitch the have). Anyway what has happened :

Moyang : Aariz tak puasa eh ? (Moyang caught him taking out bread and nutella
Aariz : Puasa lah nak siapkan utk malam nanti (that time just 3 pm btw)
Moyang : Kalau buat sekarang bersemut la diaaaaa....dah simpan simpan.... (imagine my grandma were saying this out loud haha)

Well then after I reach home ask him to sleep but he wants to play...during Asar he went to the mosque with his Atuk and they are tahlil held there. He get to bring back a small box of fried mee. At home he write his name on the box and warn everybody not to eat his mee. That is for his break fast today. Fawwaz was very pissed as he thought Atok only bought for Abang not for they both are fan of any kind of mee. Then Atok bring them both to a shop nearby to buy some ice Abang kindness, he open up the ice cream to give to Fawwaz...but of course this time nenek pulak terjerit2 kan...and Aariz was quite mad cos he just try to help Fawwaz :D. Fawwaz on the other hand get to Abang nerve by drinking the vitagen one by one...till only left one bottle inside the fridge. So Aariz hide it somewhere behind. By the time we break fast...he start by eating his mee (and share some with Fawwaz of course), followed by secretly went to the fridge to drink up his vitagen (so that Fawwaz didn't see him and ask to share), then took out his ice cream and eat by himself at the hall. When I check on him, he already terbaring kekenyangan...I find it cute and I'm pretty proud of him.

I'm not sure how is he doing today...but he ate a lot during sahur too....that's why I think he can pull it through. But if he really can't we can still give him allowance....he still small I think. And as Atok saids, don't take out the fun from him as later he will think that it some kind of force things to do. As of now I can see that he actually do have some fun! and with lot's of encouragement from people around he felt important and proud too.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Where I have been missing ?

I'm still here :). taking time off from computer/tv but still connected with my BB. Actively updating my FB status and that's about it. Going out for makan2 with friends, relatives and family before Ramadhan... settling our bibik departure..(yes we are bibikless now)... then due to my lazyness to go out and shop during Ramadhan, I settle the kenit's and papa's baju raya...siap songkok bagai...kasut raya also settle for the kenits...siap dah rasmikan lagi... what else eh?

A lot going on actually but as for me.....I am enjoying staying at home since 31st July few weeks ago. Waking up late, have a nap throughout the day (if I'm not out settling errands), having my me time and also spending lot's of time with the kids!. Boy how much I appreciate this short break!

Why is it a short break...Well my fate is on a roller coaster ride since a few months ago. I was applying this one job (and another actually but that one very slim chance) for a change in career. There is no promises that I'll get the job is something different but really interest me!. I know I am good at what I am doing now, but the job no longer give me the satisfaction I need. I need something that I can work on not just to give me the extra money every other month but also to fulfill my soul.

After a few years of deciding whether yes or no to leave my current job with my current skill (which I do get extension of my contract for another one and the half year but I decline), and also a new two offer to continue my contract in a different area at the very last week of my service. Politely I decline it too. I decline with a trust on my heart that I have to do something with my life. Is either I change my career rather than whine every single day to my hubby and feel miserable for doing something that I don't have heart with or stay at home and take care of the kids. Eventually I might get boring and will come back to the workforce in the same area maybe if I can't change my career but I do need this break. So I handed over my termination of contract one month earlier than my contract end. Bold move I know and financially we are not broke but! we have to live within our means.

Now after a few months of interviews and follow up, I finally manage to secure a yes from the job that I am applying since last April or May (this is even I know that I am pregnant :D). No offer letter things may turn around but I keep my faith that rezeki is from God. Else I'll be taking a year break..6 months to spend with my 2 boys before the arrival of the newborn and the other 6 months to be with the newborn, fully breastfeed maybe and of course spend time with my 2 boys as well. Either way I keep my mind open that whatever happen is for the best for our future.

As of now, for my short break. I need to help out my mom a little bit as we don't have bibik around, just some helper to help out twice a week to clean her house. So I am commuting from my house to her house every day to check out things (well actually I get my lunch and dinner there and for this whole fasting month we are going to break fast at her house). I'm blaming on hormone (again) as I still can't stand the smell of the cooking. But my big plan is to make my own raya cookies! So far I just ordered 2 type of raya the rest is either home made...or you guys will be coming to our house to have those 2 cookies haha. Wish me luck ;)