Sunday, February 20, 2011


A few days earlier a friend of mine wrote on my FB stating that she's happy seeing me having a happy life. I do get the compliment quite frequent from friends about me to be lucky having a happy life. Well for me happy or not is up to individual. Of course to be honest as well, my life is not pretty as it may seems. They are ups and down. Just up to me to highlight which one of it and to of course lead my life to the happier one.

Like today, I was about to blog about negative things. I wrote a few draft and just can't finish it. It just seems wrong to write down every single detail about it plus the hatred and the negative things. I feel like I have to put down a lot of energy just to draft a few words on it. And I surrender.

They are few guideline that I follow to keep me sane and be happy in life :

Rule no 1 :
To be happy in life is when you less care about what other people think. Take criticism to improvise yourself. Or else, just ignore it.

Rule no 2 :
When you set expectation to yourself, make sure is something that you can achieve. Of course you can set higher expectation, but you have to know your ground because no one else is going to hurt when you didn't manage to achieve it. It's your own self.

In my case since I have family, self expectation that I have and my spouse have is equally important. It need to be realistic. Because it's hurt when you hope on something and it did not happen.

Rule no 3 :
Love your family. They are the one who love you back unconditionally. I love my parents and my sibling. Of course so much love to give to my 3 kids, who has been wonderful to me. And hubby though he has been tough to me lately...but without him I am not who I am now.

Rule no 4 :
Choose your friends. Which is happen to be true. Some friends just happen to be poisonous. Should just remove them from your friend list!

Rule no 5 :
Love yourself! Well this is the most important rule actually. There is nothing else matter when you don't love yourself first.

Life is beautiful when we choose it to be beautiful. And I choose mine to be beautiful and meaningful!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

About breast (milk, pump and feeding)

I've got myself a Medela Freestyle to express my BM and tried to use it first time last night. Manage to get 3.5 ounces in the span of 20 minutes... Itu pun hubby ask me to pump first before feeding the boy. Which I am not sure after that dia kenyang ke tak feed on me as it took him one hour to nyot nyot.

When I got Aariz last time, we don't have much to spend. So we bought Medela manual pump...I forgot the name but it's freaking long and hard just to express the BM. I give up after that. Then when we got Fawwaz I bought Medela Swing I think which is not too bad but I travel quite a bit. So I stop at that as well. Both of them is on formula and BM till they are 4 to 6 months. Then fully formula after that.

For Eimran, I am getting older and wiser and maybe has a lot of patience too. I manage to so far fully breastfeed him till to date. With the Medela Freestyle that I have invested quite a bit and the breast pump is pretty cool as well, I will try to give him EBM until he prob at least a year old? Though I will not rule out that the possibility for me to start give him some formula as a supplement. We will see. This is going to be an interesting journey for me and Eimran.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

28 days

It's 28 days today and my first time bathing Eimran myself. Yerla tak boleh duduk cangkung la apa la for the past 28 days and hari ni pun nak mandikan tak la cangkung tapi almost bersimpuh gitu. Some might wonder why am I so obsess with this confinement thingy...Well if you've been reminded 24x7 and been feed with all horror stories about people who does not practice it properly...mau tak jadi obsess.

Anyway my body strength and feeling is back to almost at the normal stage. I had lost my body and feeling from day 1 of my pregnancy...then upon delivery your body just exhausted and on recovery mode. Now when you wake up suddenly feel energetic and you are back to yourself! Eiii happy okeh!

Now what am I up to? First I need to get used on how to take care of Eimran myself. Been getting so much help. Next taking care Eimran and Fawwaz and then Aariz. How to manage this 3 boys without losing my voice and my mind. That's important though!. I hope all of us can go back to our home this weekend and start the routine from our house. The morning routine most importantly. I have to get up as early as possible to make breakfast and get one of the kids ready...maybe I choose Eimran as he does not move that much yet and not talking. The other 2 boys, require a lot of energy just to get them to the bathroom.

Then the feeding routine. I still have not express my BM yet. Plan to start doing it today. Have been wasting precious BM as it keep on leaking till my whole shirt soak with milk...By end of the day I smell like sour milk. This one need a lottttt of motivation to express and keep the milk...

And last one is the travel part ... if everything goes well it will be materialized. They are still approval, visa and few others to work on. And if any of those get stuck somewhere then mission aborted.

Oh boy I am so looking forward for my after confinement....the short term plan.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Breastfeeding hunger and the confinement

I never feel constantly hungry like this all the time. That I start to google and see if it's normal for breastfeeding mom to be hungry all the time. Then I stumble into this one blog that is funny and hilarious describing the hunger that she had.

She describe that during pregnancy we tend to crave something specific. Yes we are hungry but we want to eat specific thing. It reminded me when I am about to deliver Aariz my first boy. I want to have Rhumba Frappe from Starbucks but instead hubby brought me Milo Ice from Mc Donald. The results, Aariz has been drooling pretty bad till he was 1 year old !!

But this breastfeeding hunger is even more nuts. Excuse me even this is my third child. This is my first time breastfeeding him exclusively without any help till today. So I am new with this phenomena. The hunger that you would want to eat anything. Anything even dry crackers looks so tempting that you would be able to finish 5-10 pieces at one go. When it comes to my main meal which would definitely be rice...I can eat a lot! A lot means really a lot lot! The only thing that helps me a bit now is that, I am on confinement. So my food selection is a bit restricted. But still doesn't stop me to eat lah!

When it comes to confinement...I have to admire my mom effort to make sure that I follow the confinement rule. At least the basic one. Like I totally enjoy just sitting around doing nothing....which make me crazy when it comes to the 20th day. The food is not he hard part because when I am normal...normal is when I am not pregnant or just me. I can survive skipping my breakfast or lunch or dinner. I am fine. So as long the are food that is cook with pepper, I am fine with that. Crackers, cereal, fruits... I am fine with it. But not be able to go out and have to maintain good posture all the time...well that is a bit hard.

The thing about confinement that a lot of people fail to see is to achieve the long term goal. And the cannot be seen goal. Is to make sure that your womb heal properly and back to the original place and size. To make sure that your vein is not fill in with wind. Because long term, if you keep on having a flabby tummy and you feel that something is hogging there down under...that is all because of your womb. And if you start become windy, having varicose vain, back ache and others, is all because you did not take care of yourself. Well that is my mom's, aunt's, neighbor's even maid long lecture about confinement.

But nonetheless, I enjoy some of the treatment during confinement. Feel like a queen. Someone massage you for 7 days in a row then followed by once a week. The lulur is good as I can feel my skin is pretty smooth now. Pilis make my headache go away and one thing that I love the most is bath with hot steam daun2 which please don't ask me what daun is that. I just know two, daun pandan and daun sireh. They are 5 more which I don't know what.

I don't know if I will go through this again. Will I get another child? Because I am not sure if my mom can put up with me one more time. She's getting older. Now she really took care of everything. Making sure that I eat right, I get my sleep, maintain my posture and follow the confinement rule. She ensure that I get help with the baby and also my other kids. One thing for sure I have to learn all this. Because next time when it comes to my sister, high chances I have to take care of her like what my mom did to me. Just hope that for my lil brother, his wife will be taken care by his in laws :)