Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Entry menci sat!

Eiii menci kan memikirkan yg akhir tahun dah dekat. Tapi travel plan for this year mmg hampeh sesangat.

Seriously end of last year I mention that this is our recovery year. Memang betul betul recovery year lah. Everything very moderate nothing much to shout. We just live with our day to day routine (ah finally we have a routine) and enjoying our home.

Tapiii with no extravaganza travel plan it is sooooo not fun! haha! Eiii menci menci! Of course when we are entering the last quarter of 2010, means it's entering my final trimester for my pregnancy. Meansssss if I were to plan for any travel pun yg dekat2 boleh la. To risk my pregnancy is not an option. Sebab if anything happen when we are travelling far, is not just me and hubby. Sape pulak nak handle the kids kan. Karang jadi drama sebabak .....akak jugak yg susah.

OK ni sebenarnya whining post cos I try to plan for a trip in Asia but then my schedule and hubby schedule does not jive well. It has been that way since early this year. So I guess we have to put everything on hold first. Just plan somewhere near like maybe staying in a hotel in KL haha. Or PD or Melaka or Cyberjaya :p. Will see how it goes. As if I can enjoy much pun kalau travel jauh2 kan.

Tapiiiiii still nak whine jugak....menciiiiiiii sebab tak dapat pegi jalan jauh jauh!

Dear hubby, since I tak dapat pegi jalan jauh2...nape la susah sgt u nak approve I beli handbag baru ni!!!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My weak point!

I have all this plan of having my own sweets time with hubby. But most of the time I will just drop the programme as I can’t bear thinking or leaving the kids out of my sight except for work. Seriously I have that dilemma. Which I think is bad for me.

I am pretty particular with time spend in the office. If I don’t see a need of my presence in the office or to stay late, I will quickly pack my stuff and go off. Except that lately when I see the activities offered by my new office is kinda exciting that I don’t mind to be in the office at all haha. But my point is not during the working time, is just that if someone ask me to go somewhere after office, or to have dinner which is non office related (yes you my friend zie hehe) I will think like twice or more whether or not to spend my time doing that.

It’s a disease yes I know. Whenever that I think of having a getaway with hubby or join him for a late mamak with friends or anything that is suppose to be fun for us…I will keep on thinking about should I ? I am so obsessed to be at home with the kids even though they are now very independent and most of the time during my arrival at home they will come and scream yaiy!!! Mama dah balik…I love mama and hug me and kiss me and then puff they go elsewhere to continue what ever they’ve been doing. Most of the time they will just have fun between both of them annoying each other, and occasionally check on me and bug me once in a while. The crucial moments that they need us (me or hubby) usually, when they bath, breakfast, dinner, doing homework and 15-30 mins quality time before sleeps. I get the quality time before sleeps as I love them hugging me and kissing me and talking to me before sleeping time. The quality time when they woke up belongs to hubby.

Though I know that once in a while it’s ok to leave them at home with their grandparents but I still have to rush home to see them. How do I get rid of this feeling? Sometime when I see people who has kids and don’t mind to stay late in the office I kinda envy them. How do they get that strength to stay focus while my mind is already at home wondering what are they doing?

I think I really have to work on this. The other thing is that I am also too clingy with hubby. Hubby knows best on this. First step that I am trying to do is to take a break with hubby (will work on my too clingy with hubby later haha) by watching the Tun M musical after office one of these days and then stay in one of the hotel in KL so that we can head straight to the office the next day. See if I can get that into realization or if my heart is weak you can see me back at home and snuggle the kids who already fall asleep.

The next maybe takes a baby step to spend time for myself with my friends. We will see how it goes.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Berangan mode with my parents blessing!

Last post I mention about my never ending berangan to buy a mini cooper. I actually told my parents about it and guess what happen. They totally oppose my idea by giving a lot of not a very nice remark and 1001 of advice. Thank you very much. Grrr I just berangan ok.

I am not a very good child that is what I think but seriously when it comes to stuff of what I am going to do next in my life I always throw it to my parents to see their reaction. For some reasons when their reaction is a negative reaction I will re-evaluate my thinking and most of the time scrap it and do something else. I am not sure if that really help in my current life where Alhamdulillah everything di permudahkan Tuhan.

We had a discussion the other week a few close friends of hubby. The impromptu meet up that start at 10 pm and finish at 1.30 pm at some restaurant somewhere in Shah Alam. We talk about one thing to another and landed to a conversation about people who has so much difficulties in their life. People who are not in peace. Sometime we see people has almost everything but not in peace. We see people who always grumbling about their life and can't move on. A lot of example we see as we grow and it happens to people who are just around us. People that we know. But as we talk deep about it we can come out with one conclusions. It goes back to our relationship between us and our parents.

As much as we hate it or probably not to trust this, but blessing from parents are very important. Though probably not all of us are bless to have a wonderful parents. But how crappy they are or how screwed up they are...they are still our parents. Sometimes is best to listen rather than to talk back and try to get their sense when they are ready to talk bout it.

Like what has happened to me. I get really mad when my dad (he's from Melaka by the way so the choice of word is always unpleasant) said something like he told me once that buying mini cooper is not a wise thing to do and I'll regret with my decisions later. And a lot more talks to emphasize how bad my decisions is and start to compare with this one person that I know who didn't listen to him and buy the car of his choice and now is suffering not able to pay and thinking of selling back and da da da da. I give my reasoning and when the conversions seems doesn't goes anywhere so I stop and switch the conversation.

Actually it's scare me when my parents star to talk like that as I take it like a doa and I hate it when I have to live and keep on thinking of it. That's how bad it is. Few days after that I guess the sense is coming back and they start to talk to me nicely. This time the conversation is more in well manner as they put their reasonings and I put mine and then start to look at other options like what car between my budget that I should buy if I still want to have that feeling of driving small sporty car at this age. The conversation last for an hour or so and then I get back to hubby and start to think about our options.

Darn now my just berangan things has get one step further. But this time with blessings and of course on top of that we have to look at our capacity. The verdict! It will still be my berangan mode cos I am one crazy woman to change car when I am pregnant and also still on probation with my new job. But this time I can berangan in peace.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Never ending berangan mode

I will definitely blog less and lesser these days. Penat lah. Is either I'm working or I'm sleeping haha. But other than that everything is all good. Raya been good though I get quite a few negative story. Try to push it away from me now cos too many rather than jadi pengajaran it become something that haunted my mind pulak kan. I get easily irritated with hubby lately. You see that is why I don't like working with him! Now travelling together with him everyday pun dah get into my nerve. Suke make annoying remark and get me irritated ...eiiiii geram!

On the other note my berangan mode is back. Ok do not speculate anything yet ok I just want to berangan and let me berangan peacefully. We are looking for a second hand mpv to accomodate our expanding family. Of course I was thinking about something big and comfy and nice and perhaps a little luxury. But wahhhh the price pun bukan main lagi mahal la kan. Most of them valued at 100k and above and the thing is the feeling inside the mpv is not that great pun. Some looks old and dusty....Of course if you want something that's really nice than the price can go from 180 k and above. Which way beyond my budget. Come to think back since I'm travelling far to KL driving a mpv is not a good option either. Waste of fuel and also not to mention the size of the vehicle is too big. Very likely we will just leave the mpv back at my mom's house and for us to use only during weekend when the whole family is around for outing. So why opt for an expensive mpv? Then we scale down and now looking at Nissan Serena or Exora. Which hubby has develop a great passion to Serena thanks to his frugal chinese colleague !

Anyway this is where my berangan mode start. Since Serena might not cost us a lot as we are thinking to buy a second hand mpv. Why not I get the car of my dream....Well I develop a passion for a nice and chic car since I was young. Blame that on my dad ;). So I told hubby about it. I need a chic car if u buy a bulky mpv. Imagine driving into KL with a small and chic car, the fuel saving, space yada yada.....Then I told him I want a mini cooper! Haha ! Instilling the idea on his head since yesterday and now we are looking for a test drive. I've been in the car once and it's an amazing experience. Well again I like to berangan, and this is my current angan2. Let me berangan with peace ok. So that I can smile and be in the cloud nine until reality strike again :p

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Raya sakan…hurm that’s might explain why is the long silence la kan. But seriously I love my Hari Raya now like all other Hari Raya in my life. The same old story the same old routine plus minus the joy of seeing my kids growing up understanding Ramadhan and the Eid celebration, then having my grandma as part of our raya routine and also some catch up and update from relatives that make us owh and aaaaahhh. Interesting each time!

Anyway there’s a particular stuff that disturb me on this Hari Raya. Hubby told me on the second Hari Raya during our way back from Sabak Bernam to our home. I can’t describe much here cos it might be sensitive towards some. But one point I can give here is not to ride on other people’s dream. Especially my dream with my husband! It gives me a nightmare, like a Freddy Krueger nightmare.

I always blog about the plan that we always talk about with my husband, about our future and how are we going to structure our life. All dreams that we have about our family, the dream house, the education for our children, the financial, the travel plan, the plan of taking care of our parents one day and a lot more. And those are my dreams with him, my husband and our dreams are align. We have to make sure our dreams are align as we have to work together to achieve that. When we plan and we dream we also must make sure that it must be realistic, achievable and not to mention that we do not interfere with other people’s life or dream!

I really wish I can spill in details on what is the thing that disturb me even though hubby assured me that we are in control. Even though if they are sentimental value being brought up on this issue we can always let go that dream and pursue to another. But what disturb me is that everybody has been given a chance once to get that thing or to share the load but everybody back off. And when we pick it up and start to incorporate that as part of our dream we had a lot of this bad talk and unnecessary advice that we don’t. We carry on as we have faith in our plan. We invest a lot of money and we have to tighten our budget for more than a year just to get it done. And once everything is fine, and good they are people thought that they can just propose of something to interfere on what we have worked on! Shame shame. It makes me pissed off and it haunted me though again hubby will keep on reminding me that we are in control. I just hate the fact that the other party might already start dreaming and planning on how to screw my dream and plan. This particular party has always had a dream of doing something and tries to get everybody to involve with their dream. But all this while those are just talks and it is not realistic and it does not directly intended to us so I can just listen with one ears and flush it out later. But this particular dream or maybe I can say plan!!! Is directly impacting us!

I am not happy and I can’t share my unhappiness with others cos it’s kinda sensitive. The only person I can spill this out is to hubby and he has been listening to all my whining and reasoning for the past few days. I told him that he should not tell me at the first place as it will screw my mind. And to fix this….better he get me a new hand bag :p

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Pineapple tart, other stuff and Hari Raya

Do you know how difficult it is to get a nice pineapple tart nowadays? Well at least for me…it’s damn hard. Blame to my grandmother who make a delicious tart during my childhood. Lucky for me as I have grandmother and also a mother that is good in cooking and my grandmother particularly in baking as well. But to learn those skills from them is really hard. If I ask like how to cook this and how to cook that the only thing that I get is a stare and the answer will be just campak campak jekla….agak2 how much you need to put. So not like google where the recipe will give you the exact measures, this pro will not sit down and write down the recipe for you. The only way to learn is to observe them in the kitchen. And I am too lazy to do that.

Put aside my mother as some of her cooking secret is already with me. Ehem I am a natural cook as well ;) but long way to learn all other tedious cooking. Like my mom’s sambal be it to put on fish or chicken with or without belacan….her sambal always good! The rendang and her masak kicap…ok her masak kicap is very unique though and few other cooking lesson that I have to pick from her.

Now about my grandmother…. She’s a keeper, meanings she will not easily share her secret recipe with people including her own blood like us. Her cooking were so good that we are spoilt by it. Her main expertise was sambal udang belimbing, masak lemak any, asam pedas any, …ok the reasons why I don’t eat asam pedas elsewhere except home cook, curry the best and few others. For curry I manage to observe and now sort of know how to cook the curry as up to her standard. But for the rest….I need to stay in the kitchen more to learn.

Lately for some reasons when I do my own cooking, which is western food like chicken pie and few others, she will observe me and come near to look at my work. She’ll start to chat a little bit with me (yeah she didn’t chat much with us pun) asking about what I’m doing and then share some of her experience. Then slowly she offered me to do her famous pineapple tart with me. I am so thrilled that I am ok with that even I don’t have much time to spare already since I start working. So last week we start the project and I get to witness and also write her secret ingredients. The verdict….we’ve ordered a few tart for various source, I think we going to abandon those tart already haha. Not really abandon lah …sound very mean kan! But that will be served to the visitors. While homemade tart, will stay with us. Even my dad was busy eating the tart and we almost emptied one whole jar.

Then I try my luck asking her to teach me some of her other specialties. Which is popiah basah….They said it is the best popiah basah in Melaka or something as my grandma use to sell kuih. And lucky me she said yes…So another project will commence next week during raya week to make some popiah basah to welcome some of the cousins and relative to our home. I just hope and pray that she is in a good mood to be able to teach me rather than change her mind later. You see this particular recipe has been asked by many since years ago and she keep on shush them away. Including my own cousins…So when I was about to ask her, everyone especially my aunty and parents have a big doubt on that. Now as she changes her mind, this are my chance to learn and hopefully the goodness of her cooking will not die with her. So much to learn and so little time I have, but better late then never right?

Well that’s my story for today….my head is really into raya mode already. Since grandma is now staying with us, that means all our relatives will drop by to our house to visit her. It will not be the first few days of raya as my relatives from my dad side are all from far away. Expecting the week after next to be super duper busy for us. Nonetheless the first day raya still meriah at our side. The plus of staying in kampong where the tradition is still intact. Our neighbors has regards my family as their relatives so we will join them on visiting from one house to another around our area. They will also come and visit us. So food preparation is still important in our checklist (always important).

I think for me the spirit of raya is always being around the family, the food preparation and presentations and the visiting part. That makes the most of my Eid Celebration. Happy Hari Raya you all and Maaf Zahir Batin!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A little bit of this and that

Sooooo many to update. Don't know which one to write first. Many important things happening in my life right now. I don't even have much time to relax and take my usual nap. Some days I just like la a zombie to go through the day...But overall life never been so full filling like right now.

These is what has happened since last update that I wrote (a week ago?). First the last minute buka puasa event together with Fawwaz mini birthday celebration. It's a success....everything is last minute, the menu the attendance list, the door gift, the birthday cake. But everything went well. The birthday boy having his first birthday celeb with a pool of kids knowing what they have to do already...They all give ways to the birthday boy, together sing the song and clap out loud once the birthday boys blow the candle....All done by themselves with minimal supervision....Imagine kids around 6 years and below knows the routine already haha...Seems that we have too many birthday party throughout the years that they all comfortable with the routine already. The adults all busy stuffing themselves and play catch up on the latest update and everybody is having a good time. Food is all enough to feed everyone of us and no wastage! (except for the rice and serawa durian). Small door gift idea and sponsored by my little sister was a small fish (alive!) to be given for the little guest. The kids were thrilled and so do we.

Then the day before we were busy shopping electrical stuff from Ikano. We are gadget freak... which is including the home appliance not only the IT stuff. We get ourselves a microwave, karcher steamer which hubby love so much as he can now mopped the whole house in just a minute. On top of that we get some windfall that we decided to get ourselves the steamer iron. Both of us grinning the whole day and my oh my how the tools has helped us to clean up after the open house.

On top of that I get myself busy to bake cookies for raya, chicken pie, learning how to make a bolognese from scratch (which I have a lot more to improve I think) and that has taken a lot of my time lately. I made a choc chip cookies (secret recipe from my sil), cornflakes cookies ( google) and also pineapple tart (my grandma secret recipe). Time to puji diri sendiri...home made cookies always taste good! I guess cos we use the best ingredients and made with love. My resistance of spending time baking also has improve...last time I don't have much patience to mold the cookies and bake which sometime can take hours....but now ...things has change and I am ready to bake :). Oh I thing to note....I understand myself now...I can bake for fun but not for sale though. I don't have enough patience for that haha.

Then the other highlight is, I have start working with my new company!!!! To be honest I am so thrilled!!! Tapi penatnya jgn ckp la...Not that I have start working like hell ke apa. But since I've been staying at home for a while I use to take a nap in the morning and afternoon. You can imagine how sleepy am I during that time. Not to mention that the office is pretty cold and I am fasting, I swear I am hungry to the max by the end of the day dengan bulu roma meremang2 tahan kesejukkan. Other than that everything seems fine to me. Ada kemaruk and jakun sket sebab now I have easy access for shopping, fine dining, all treatment like massage, saloon all around me. Last time I have to schedule for all this to happen. But now I can do any of above anytime after office. Isn't that dangerous. Hubby already warn me to be extra careful. Well I'm sure I will ( I hope :D). Another thing that I am so jakun is to have my own desk. Yes I am so jakun on that. I've been so use to be nomad, moving from one location to another due to my nature of my previous job. It's hard to have your own desk so basically nothing much you can do with your own work space. Sometime you don't even have your own work space. So sad you see. Now I have my own work space, my own cabinet and drawer...and I am sooo loving it. Gonna print some of my kiddos picture to be put on my desk later. Bring over my favorite mug and few other stuff to make me comfortable to be in the office and ehem...since maybe I have to stay a little bit late in the office I'd better make myself comfortable right!

Last but not least, we went for our monthly medical check up knowing that this time for sure I am going to know the gender of my baby. Again we all are sooooooo thrilled to be in the doctor office and when she scanned and tell us the results, guess who's the happiest person in the world!! Both Aariz and Fawwaz. Cos now they will have another brother to share their passion on cycling, riding bike, fighting etc. Yes it's going to be another boy. Which hubby turn to me and said..well we just need to try another round. And I said well will see how it goes with the 3 little boys around me haha. But syukur to God I am so happy with his gift. I am sure I can handle 3 boys if not God will not give me another right!.

Well, that's sum up on what is happening to me and my family for the past one week. Today we did some house cleaning, laundry etc and soon going out to Bangsar for a buka puasa event with a group of friends. Then will prepare for tomorrow (dah kena keje kan). Luckily raya stuff is almost done. OK lah byk dah to to you later ;)