My weak point!

I have all this plan of having my own sweets time with hubby. But most of the time I will just drop the programme as I can’t bear thinking or leaving the kids out of my sight except for work. Seriously I have that dilemma. Which I think is bad for me.

I am pretty particular with time spend in the office. If I don’t see a need of my presence in the office or to stay late, I will quickly pack my stuff and go off. Except that lately when I see the activities offered by my new office is kinda exciting that I don’t mind to be in the office at all haha. But my point is not during the working time, is just that if someone ask me to go somewhere after office, or to have dinner which is non office related (yes you my friend zie hehe) I will think like twice or more whether or not to spend my time doing that.

It’s a disease yes I know. Whenever that I think of having a getaway with hubby or join him for a late mamak with friends or anything that is suppose to be fun for us…I will keep on thinking about should I ? I am so obsessed to be at home with the kids even though they are now very independent and most of the time during my arrival at home they will come and scream yaiy!!! Mama dah balik…I love mama and hug me and kiss me and then puff they go elsewhere to continue what ever they’ve been doing. Most of the time they will just have fun between both of them annoying each other, and occasionally check on me and bug me once in a while. The crucial moments that they need us (me or hubby) usually, when they bath, breakfast, dinner, doing homework and 15-30 mins quality time before sleeps. I get the quality time before sleeps as I love them hugging me and kissing me and talking to me before sleeping time. The quality time when they woke up belongs to hubby.

Though I know that once in a while it’s ok to leave them at home with their grandparents but I still have to rush home to see them. How do I get rid of this feeling? Sometime when I see people who has kids and don’t mind to stay late in the office I kinda envy them. How do they get that strength to stay focus while my mind is already at home wondering what are they doing?

I think I really have to work on this. The other thing is that I am also too clingy with hubby. Hubby knows best on this. First step that I am trying to do is to take a break with hubby (will work on my too clingy with hubby later haha) by watching the Tun M musical after office one of these days and then stay in one of the hotel in KL so that we can head straight to the office the next day. See if I can get that into realization or if my heart is weak you can see me back at home and snuggle the kids who already fall asleep.

The next maybe takes a baby step to spend time for myself with my friends. We will see how it goes.