Nightmare

Raya sakan…hurm that’s might explain why is the long silence la kan. But seriously I love my Hari Raya now like all other Hari Raya in my life. The same old story the same old routine plus minus the joy of seeing my kids growing up understanding Ramadhan and the Eid celebration, then having my grandma as part of our raya routine and also some catch up and update from relatives that make us owh and aaaaahhh. Interesting each time!

Anyway there’s a particular stuff that disturb me on this Hari Raya. Hubby told me on the second Hari Raya during our way back from Sabak Bernam to our home. I can’t describe much here cos it might be sensitive towards some. But one point I can give here is not to ride on other people’s dream. Especially my dream with my husband! It gives me a nightmare, like a Freddy Krueger nightmare.

I always blog about the plan that we always talk about with my husband, about our future and how are we going to structure our life. All dreams that we have about our family, the dream house, the education for our children, the financial, the travel plan, the plan of taking care of our parents one day and a lot more. And those are my dreams with him, my husband and our dreams are align. We have to make sure our dreams are align as we have to work together to achieve that. When we plan and we dream we also must make sure that it must be realistic, achievable and not to mention that we do not interfere with other people’s life or dream!

I really wish I can spill in details on what is the thing that disturb me even though hubby assured me that we are in control. Even though if they are sentimental value being brought up on this issue we can always let go that dream and pursue to another. But what disturb me is that everybody has been given a chance once to get that thing or to share the load but everybody back off. And when we pick it up and start to incorporate that as part of our dream we had a lot of this bad talk and unnecessary advice that we don’t. We carry on as we have faith in our plan. We invest a lot of money and we have to tighten our budget for more than a year just to get it done. And once everything is fine, and good they are people thought that they can just propose of something to interfere on what we have worked on! Shame shame. It makes me pissed off and it haunted me though again hubby will keep on reminding me that we are in control. I just hate the fact that the other party might already start dreaming and planning on how to screw my dream and plan. This particular party has always had a dream of doing something and tries to get everybody to involve with their dream. But all this while those are just talks and it is not realistic and it does not directly intended to us so I can just listen with one ears and flush it out later. But this particular dream or maybe I can say plan!!! Is directly impacting us!

I am not happy and I can’t share my unhappiness with others cos it’s kinda sensitive. The only person I can spill this out is to hubby and he has been listening to all my whining and reasoning for the past few days. I told him that he should not tell me at the first place as it will screw my mind. And to fix this….better he get me a new hand bag :p