The monthly check up - 12 weeks

Yesterday I went for my monthly medical check up. Now the hospital that I went to has this scanner with new technology. Well I can’t describe much on the technology but what I witness are wonderful. At 12 weeks I can see clearly the baby with her 2 hands and legs, can see almost the facial feature ie: the nose. I can listen to the heart beat and during the scan my baby is so active jumping up and down. No kidding ...we can see the baby bounce in my tummy happily and wiggle her leg too. At that moment I know what I went through so far it is more than worth it.
Since the visit is during weekday, I get my dear boy Aariz to accompany me. He is a great companion...(of course now with his PSP he behave extra well). When we walk into the hospital, I saw a wheelchair. Ask him if I can sit on the wheelchair and he push me. He said of course when I want to deliver the baby later. I said I want now. Then he pause and look at me. Now cannot, you can walk ..later people marah at you. Ok that’s fair enough :p. He wait patiently for me to gobble a full bowl of laksa while of course playing his PSP. When I suddenly felt like vomiting and running straight to the toilet, he also jump from his chair and follow me running...he he cute! Wait for me in the toilet and make sure that I am ok before I walk out from there. At 6 years old I feel blessed to have him as my eldest child as he is far more responsible that I hope that he would be.

They are drama at home while I and Aariz went for the check up. Apparently my other child is not very happy that he being left out from the check up. Upon reaching home, Fawwaz throwing tantrum and menangis mendayu2 at me asking me why I leave him behind. This child of mine is very different from Aariz. Since he was small he will be showing tantrum or even develop fever if we leave him for a short trip. Not to mention long trip where I have to cut out some of my buss trip due to his feverish condition. Very clingy but very bossy too. When you are around he will pretend that he don’t need you but if you try to leave him, he will be the most charming boy ever. At night when his dad reach home, he again repeat the same sad story. Accusing his brother to follow me and leave him behind while he is sobbing. Kesian dia. I promise him for a treat between him and me only soon.

One moment ago I long want to be the successful career woman. Now days my career is just to fulfil my inner self. If only that the inflation and the cost of living that we have to bear here in Malaysia...long ago I already retire from my current workforce. Sad that sometime I make my kids to believe that I really have to work hard to earn money to provide for the family. Like what Aariz just mention to me the other day...”Ma when the baby is out you have to work harder you know. Both you and papa”. When I ask why he simply reply “ Because we need to buy stuff for the baby , we need more now”... Well sometime I do think...do I really need more cos if we just live life as it is ...one income should be enough. But for that extra need here and there 2 income is what we need for now. Really then I think again...will that worth with what I sacrifice for the kids...the time. I am strong believer that the kids will be a better person if one of us stay at home and concentrate on their needs.

Up till today I still not sure what if I’m doing the right thing or not. Again I will be thankful that at least my kids are back there with my parents that will teach them some good life lessons. And I am looking forward to have the third one...and maybe more later one if everything goes well ...God willing.