Mama and her 2 boys

Today Aariz just mention something that I pray that he won't say it to me.

As usual, I will go to my parents house after I finish my work to pick them up. If hubby is still in the office or on the way...I will spend some time with them at grandma house, play with them and feed them (yer saya masih tak malu makan kat rumah mak saya walaupun dah duk rumah sendiri). Anyway I am not in defensive mode..so mengatala sesuka hati awak :p... saya belum masak secara series di dapur saya yg comel tu.

Back to Aariz and Fawwaz. I sat there with them and manja Fawwaz just put his head on my lap and then Aariz just pop out the word. "Mama ni memang sayang Fawwaz kan...". Ok for this my defensive mode just turn on. "What makes you thing Mama tak sayang Aariz?". He looks a bit blur but then give me a smile....Then of course I started to tell him all the things that I did to show how much I love him as well.

The fact is I do love them both so much. No more no less. But Aariz keep on testing my patience all the time. Fawwaz on the other hand...he's an opportunist. He know how to play cool. How not to make my temper goes to the ceiling...and he just like playing sweet. Like hugging and kissing and putting his head on my shoulder or lap. He know how to act to...making sure that his ass is safe from everyone to scold him.

We always thought Aariz is the type of do first think later. Fawwaz is the type of think first and do later. For example....at the park...at the age of 3 Aariz will not be afraid to climb up the highest slides..and get frighten later. Fawwaz...will look up and examine the height of the slides...and confidently says no when he knows he is not ready for it. That goes for all the other matter in the house. Aariz will just try to get something that he want and bash a glass of water and spill it all over. Fawwaz will strategize to get what he want. It's very easy to get annoyed with Aariz rather than Fawwaz even tho the facts is ....Fawwaz sometime can be one difficult boy. But he just manage to get away with it. I guess it happend to most of second child in the family. They are good in getting away ....

Being the first child I guess I did put a lot of expectation to him. Which then cause frustration to me. That lead to me unnecessarily scolding him...while on the other hand his lil brother will get away with it ...because he is little. But that remark that Aariz gave me today is something that I want to avoid so much. I don't want him to feel that I side his brother more that him. But at the same time I want him to understand why he get that extra scolding from me.

Today....before I put him to bed. I give extra attention to Aariz. Patting him to sleep, but his lil bro still doesn't want to let go off me. I give him some tickle and tell him how much I love this big boy ....... He close his eyes smiling...and I still whisper to him how much I love him and how smart he is......Hopefully tomorrow I can try to be better at handling both of them.

Darn....the challenge of being a mother has really started!