About the illusions

As we grow older we heard a lot of interesting success stories and not so success stories. It's a favourite subject between Hubby and I to talk about life in many perpective. We can discuss this for hours, going on and on about how and why people are success in life, why some people can't reach certain stage in their life, why they are people not happy in their life, what are the measure of a succefull life and happiness and the list can go on.

One thing that strike me a few days ago is the conversation about why are 2 people who are deeply in love can be seperated especially when they are young children involve. How people can fall in love with someone else after you take the vow with your wife/husband, make babies, had babies, go through the hardship together and change your mind later ? Why some people after a few years of marriage decided that his man/woman are no longer their soulmate? It is interesting to see that they are a few cases happening around me. Not that I am a close friend to any of them ...but hurm just make me wonder.

I had this discussion with hubby about this, that lead us to another discussion. Illusions of other people's life. In this current world people are so materialistic. Money and beauty is the King. We have been filled with series of drama and film about life that is sometimes not realistic at all!. Person A(F) can fall in love with person B(M) then next decided that it is just a fling then move on to person C(M). Person C(M) is actually ex to person D(F) that now fall in love with person B(M). Well if life is just that simple...God knows what would happend to our family institution and to our next generation. Well don't start about the illusions about people who lives in the mansions, having all the time to party, to shop whatever they want to buy and seems that work so little!. In my real life...that is not so true.

Those drama's that we watch amazingly being followed by some of us. The illusions of having things without working on it. What we do, we swipe on credit card. We do personal loan, we mortgage ...we do 1001 things without realizing the impact on the long run. Well guys and girls, that's for me dalam bahasa melayu is gali kubur sendiri lah.

Life in real life is not that simple. Is a roller coaster ride where they are up and down. You have to be smart and not to be fool by others. You spend below your means and save up the others. One thing for sure we are not getting any younger but older. Some might interpret that we are young just once and make full out of it. Money you spend you can always earn back...but how true is that ?

Hence back to my earlier point about how 2 people in love can hate each other. We conclude that for ourselves we both have our up and down in our marriage. Taufan, ribut petir...we had that too. When into that situation, one of us will take a step back until one of us come to our sense. We sometimes falls into that illusions of others to look sleek and glamorous,...but either him or me will wake up from the dream and said hey the reality is, we are not there yet. Take one step at a time. We know our financial situation, not just one party does it all. That makes us understand our limits better and how far we can go. Sharing is caring...yes we share almost everything. Some girly stuff that I don't share with him but I share with others...he will know who I share with and who are my friends. Some serious office stuff and career progression that I am not interested to know the details, he has his own friends to talk with and I know who they are. We share our loads and we accept each other weakness. Well it took 5 years I guess for us to accept each other weakness and we are still learning.

We sometimes felt that we are old fashioned. Indeed we are as we hardly do any hanky panky things anymore. He loves his job, and I love my family. Most of our time besides working day is spending time with each other, the kids, family members and some close friends.

At the end of the conversation, we had a long pause....each of us melayan perasaan, while the kids are sleeping at the back. Then I told him, though he might not be the knight of shining amor (as what I read in those romantic novel or those hunks -ryan reynolds in those romantic movies that I watch) but he is my soulmate. Who am I to find a perfect person without me being perfect either ?