It's a competition

As a mother, I think I might be quite strict towards my kids. Like the other day when Aariz ask me to buy him a pencil colour that has a duck picture (actually swan picture) with 24 colours as his friends has the biggest in class. Or when his bag is broken and when I temporarily replace with the old Thomas the Tank Engine bag that he said his friends will laugh at his bag... (yeah Thomas the Tank Engine is not so cool anymore for 6 years old boy).

This is my answer (more to question) to him :

Mama : Does your pencil colour produce the same colour like your friend’s ?
Aariz : yes
Mama : Does his bag walk by itself ?
Aariz : no ma
Mama : Anything that you have besides if it’s smaller or maybe slightly older giving a different results from what they have
Aariz : no ma....

Well then I start to explain to him why he don’t need to be competitive in terms of material and so on so forth. So far he seems to except it quite ok.

Of course I know we can always buy him things and stuff him with whatever he wants. But rather than just giving him things that might not have any ending, it is best for him to deal with it and understand what he really need and what he does not need. Deal with how to counter back all this competitive friends that he has wisely!.

The other day during his birthday, I made a train birthday cake for him. Get both Aariz and Fawwaz to help decorate the cake....it’s a hard work for all of us. Come to the party pack, I don’t have time to go and buy a proper party bag. So end up I use the normal white zip lock bag so that nothing will spill out from the bag. Long after that only Aariz told me, his friend laugh at him over the party bag. As it is white zip lock bag compared to the normal fancy party bag that has cartoon on it. Then I ask him nicely, how about the cake ? I heard they are very pleased with the train cake that I made. The he replied excitedly, yes they are. Everybody says whoaaaa. And they don’t like your party pack at all?? I asked. Quickly he replied... No ma they like the content , they are milo ..they love milo. Everyone does. They love the chocolate and the biscuits too. In a very excited tone. I told him that see, that is just a plastic bag...what importance is the cake and the content right. Do you really keep the party bag when you get one? No ma.. he replied. But did everyone have fun ? YES!!! He claimed!

I think we all have been through or maybe still in the material competition from one to another. Be it from a small little things like hand phone, watches, clothing, to a bigger one like house, car and many more. Some time when we are busy to compete and busy to look what other people have that we don’t have, we forgot to first appreciate what we really have and really need. And second false into the trap of debt. Until too late that we realize, we are already in a really deep shit.

When I was small I false into that trap too. Not so much when I’m in primary school as in kampong school I seems to have more than others. But in secondary school I start to feel the pinch. They are time when all my colleague start to wear branded watches like Swatch and Guess...and they have many of it. I just have one. When they have all the latest gadget, hand phone and stuff I don’t have any. Then I start to divert my need in material to something else. Going for social activities like joining all other society or club in school. I am good at it and I enjoy my secondary school much that I don’t feel the need to be competitive in term of material.

I grow up that way and still be that way. Rich people doesn’t amaze me. I don’t give a damn about status. I feel best about myself...and as I grow I get things that I want and I afford. No pressure on that!. The best part is, when you finally get what you deserve, the satisfaction is yours!

That is the element that I want to get my kids to understand. I want them to know getting money is not easy. It is a hardship that they have to earn. Hence appreciate whatever that they have. Things are still good, use it first. I want them to be competitive in learning, so I reward them. Not in material but with love and time spend as a family. I want them to feel about the poor and note how lucky they are, so that they know where they are standing and how fortunate they are. Money / material will not give them happiness in life. They are just a tool for us to live our life..

Back to both my little kenits. So far they are still learning and they are learning pretty well. Even at his age they knows how to switch off light and fan when not in use. Finish the drinks and if not, keep it in the fridge so that later they can finish it up. They are a lot more to learn but we will keep it phase by phase. It is very interesting part of my life watching them grown. And it is my honour to be part of their life. Thank you God for lending both of them to me.