Chew

It has been a while. Many things has happened and Alhamdulillah most of it are good things. The house is ready, not fully but we consider it ready as we have been staying overnight during weekend for the past few weeks. There's still a little bit of touch up work here and there and just kena pejam mata and urut dada each time you sees a little tiny winy things that for my standard - still not done yet! But overall I am satisfied. The design is as per what we imagined, white door, white border/skirting around the house...modern english. There's a lot of windows/sliding where we can get our natural lights - though at some point mcm expose pulak sebab u can see your neighbor and all. Berangan rumah tepi pantai or dalam hutan mcm rumah Edward in Twilight :p. As we get the house ready and all - trying to furnish and to think of what is best for the kids, we look around for school and manage to register my second child to school of our choice. I had a warm feeling going to this school as the kids and the teacher are all friendly. Now the only challenge is to get Aariz to the same school and we can only do the transfer in November.And we call the office who manage the transfer, upon hearing the school name terus kata "Ala Encik susah nak masuk sekolah ni" and we where like what? I cannot be sending my kids to two different school. It's going to be manic for us to send them each morning. Belum bila no 3 masuk kindy. Anyway, we just try again in November and see how it goes. No when we said kita mampu merancang dan Tuhan yang menentukan - our plan (my plan has changed again in a blink). While getting the house ready, while scouting for schools and activities for our kids, scratching our head to get which school bus driver and all and all of sudden I am pregnant with no 4. No 4...hurm...My oh my. I know once I said maybe I shld be thinking of no 4 right after no 3...but that is all in my mind... And out of the blue I feel hungry all the time, then I start to vomit and that is the alarm. Check pregnancy test 1 negative, check 2 positive...and I am now a grumpy mummy who vomit day and night 8 weeks pregnant. Pwehhhh it took me a long week to think and think what should I do next. What I should really do. This is no 4 and no joke - my third one is still a baby!. My second is going to primary 1 next year, we are in the midst of moving house and pretty far from my parents. I mean not near enough to get them to help sending or picking up from school if there is emergency or looking after my 3rd and 4th baby... And as I think and think, things become pretty clear. Maybe I should try...maybe I should see how it goes. If I become a full time mom. I have less money or maybe no money (since it will be solely hubby punya belas ikhsan kan) but I may have the happiness. My kids may become a better person. I may not need to abandon this blog again and I can concentrate on my passion like baking and cooking! Too many to chew? Yes it is for me too.

Tadada

One of my colleague in the office claim that he found my blog. So let's see if he is really here, so please drop a comment.

When he mention about my blog, I wonder and ponder. Is there any secrets that I put in here that is not suitable for public viewing? Get a little bit nervous thinking about it hehe. Then today I have little extra time to surf around and start reading back my old posting. Nehhhhh nothing much. Is just my silly whining or story telling about things around me. Particularly my little family.

Well currently I am a little busy with things that happening around me. My last posting was in October last year where we start talking about building our new home. It start progressing pretty well. 60% there and another 40% critical path to go. And the critical path is when we talk about finishing. Building a house from scratch as I put in my facebook is an experience that I just want to do once. No more....it's a lot easier to get pregnant several time, but the stress and the pain is a lot more in building a house. That very little detail on every single thing to decide. Color to choose, which size and design, what material to use, and the list goes on.

If I am not lazy and if I am kind enough, I'll share some of the picture on the progress of the house. Oh yeah...I'll prob will blog again...just to tell you the stories of my amazing Eimran. He is now 1 year 3 months old. Cheeky and handsome and everything lah! Bye

Milestone

Hubby is still outside with our contractor for the pj house project, while I take the chance to update my blog ( gile semangat wehhhh). Actually I want to get the update for the project from hubby and I just too lazy to join the conversation because if not I have to dress up a little bit. Too comfortable with my pajamas.....

This morning I join my friends for breakfast. Note that all of them are full time housewives. Catching up a lil bit on what's happening in our lives and yada yada...gosh how I envy them for having the courage...though they keep on pointing the pain of not havin that extra moolah to have fun. I for whatever reasons now put another milestone here before I can really take a break. Actually 2 milestones....first is to make sure the pj house is ready and we can all settle down , like really really settle down this time. I hope with the distance from my parent's home will make me be independent. Then I can sort out all my domestic laziness...perhaps that if the distance is ok for me from office to home then I might not be that tired if I still have to work for a little while. But then my second milestone... Is to have another child. Hopefully yang bongsu.... I've been thinking and observing...you know when you go out, I tend to observe older couple maybe around their 40s and look at their kids. You see that if they have 3 is like tak berapa meriah, 4 nampak mcm best sket. 5 maybe is a bonus tapi seriously I don't know if I can put up with 5. Though to be honest 3 ni pun dah semput nak divide the attention to all of them, but if I were to make room for one more....maybe ok kot?

So the plan is move to new house, then get pregnant then take a break for maybe 5 years ?

Ok sorry entry melalut .......

Chickened out!

I am back in my blogging business. See how long I can survive.

Anyway I just read this one blogger about how she treasure her love as stay at home mom while doing some freelancing work. How I envy her. For many occasions I already in the cross road of becoming a stay at home but I chickened out for one reason. Fear of not having enough. To put more salt to the wound, we are now venturing of building a new home, and selling our current house that we are staying which results to we have to stay at my mom house by end of this year till possibly June next year. Until the new house ready. And that extended to that 'we' or maybe 'I' need the extra money so that I can spoil myself with kitchen and bedding accessories... But again when I keep on putting excuses that is where I am trapped and my mind keep on wondering what if I quite and be stay at home mom. Typical!.

Now, my current state of life. Full of love. Having 3 kids make my life colorful. No word can describe the happiness when you reach home and see their faces. When they start talking to you trying to get your attention. And when they play with each other. My first one Aariz can really entertain his 9 mons little brother. Aariz will make his goofy face and Eimran will be giggling and laughing out loud which make Fawwaz jealous. Then Fawwaz will ask Aariz to stop doing that to make his way to entertain the little brother...for some reasons most of the time Eimran will not laugh and just look at him give him a one kind look. That's kinda funny. However in terms of taking care of the little one, Fawwaz shows more commitment though whether or not he can execute the task properly is still a question...

I just steal my 15 mins lunch hour time to jot this down. Since my lunch partner disappearing, I now have more time in the office ;) Later

Boat

This evening while surfing the net, I then suddenly remember my blog. Then I open it while hubby look at me a glance and start saying this " Huh sape la nak tengok blog u yg dah besawang tu" and I look at him...in my heart "amboiiii bukan main ko yer".

Later tonight...I feel the urge to update the blog :) Let see if I can keep this up haha.

When you don't blog for quite sometime, you have 1001 stories to tell. But then everything just come as bit and pieces here and there, simply because there's too many to tell. So now I have to choose a topic and concentrate on that one.

OK let me start with this. I start working after my maternity sometime in March. Where things are really like a roller coaster. Your life is, I mean work life is just like a limbo. When you are in a limbo then you hang on to a few which is in the same boat as you. You dwell, you whine, you laugh, you fight with those around you...and soon enough you create the bonding.

Well I have not create any bonding with anyone for years since I hang on to my husband, then a few other friends that I keep close. Those who've been in the same boat in a different occasion. So it's kinda interesting to have this new bonding. For once I felt that I am back at school. Several occasions we just run wild, laughing and giggling and teasing each other. Sharing our sorrow and happiness, talk more beyond our career, our passion, dream ,family and others. But you know like other movies, good story will always have to end.

Starting from tomorrow one of our colleague, who we have created the bonding with, has spear her wings for the better. She got promoted and leave us early then expected. There goes my partner in crime, who will go hungry as early as I am, that leave the office sharp at 12 to find good food for lunch. There goes my partner for meeting, that will appear as confidence as we can, talking smoothly when after the meeting we just laugh out loud, just wondering what the hell are we talking about just now...There goes my teacher, as wise as she is, has taught me all on how to see the issue, solutions, objective, people... all from a different perspective.

Well as much as I want to push her out from the car, when she first told me that she's leaving, I am happy for her. Wishing her all the best for her career and hope that she found what she's looking for. Now she leaves me with a whole lot of responsibilities to carry on from here, but she also leaves me her wisdom to keep on going. And yes, now I have to tie the other few who still here in the boat, ensuring that they will not leave me as well ! HAHAHA :p

Share with me

There are few things that I would like to catch up. For example, baking, cooking, facial and my usual wash and blow. Time is something that I crave for, which I have been really slacking into a few other important thing. Spending quality time with the kids.

Juggling career and taking care of family is really hard at least for me. I know my strength and when it's come to do something that is not really my forte, I can and I will do it, but it will take a little bit of my energy to get it done. That will sometimes effect my performance at home. I've been put in some thoughts on wether or not to continue with my career. Should I just do routine work, part time or just be a housewife. But then they are fear in me thinking of will it be enough? Can I be a housewife? Will I get bored? What if I want my career back? How will I get my designer handbag ? ( hubby pls take note hehe ) ..... Well they are 1001 things keep on running on my mind...

I know some of you did that before, or currently been doing that. Care to share some thoughts?

After a while

I've been abandoning my blog for quite a while. Not that I don't have anything to update. So many things happening in my life. But somehow, something has causes my life going down the road that I am not suppose to be. The road of depression... Haha kidding! Not that until I get really depress, but bad enough that I don't dare to write things here afraid of that I cross my border.

What I learn here however, things always look greener on the other sides when we all know it is actually doesn't. The experience that I learn, though it might not be as what I expected, are still remarkable. When you look at the positives sides, you know that what you take away is not one, but more. And most important, the value that you create, for yourself and people who matters.

Anyway, I leave that first. As I said, afraid that I cross my border if I start writing about it. Now talk about things that really matter, myself, my kids and hubby dearie.

Early this year I gave birth to another beautiful boy of mine. His name is Eimran. At my age I am a proud mother of 3 boys, and sometimes still unsure on how am I going to raise the boys... What the heck! Just do it lah :p Now Eimran is 6 months, cheeky just like his brothers, the most tembam among the others and my favorite sweet heart for now. Reasons being, so far he is the only one that don't talk much to me.....yet. Enjoy it while it last !

We are having dilemma of getting a bigger car, between need and want I guess this is more want than need. Today due of my itchiness ( of course me not hubby who is the most practical men in the world ...ehem!), we went around feasting our eyes with the latest 7 seated in town. From Wish to Stream to Mazda 5 and finally, Peugeot 5008...... I drool over to of course Peugeot 5008. Gosh so sexy and the interior is very classy. And guess the kids...ma belila la ma, from one car to another... Really I think the kids thought that we pluck the money like their grandfather pluck rambutan from the tree behind the house. We end up just collecting brochure although Fawwaz seriously unhappy seeing us going out from the showroom empty handed. For you guys looking for 7 seated, I really recommend you to have a look at 5008.

K la, I guess this is the update for now. I hope I can write more after this...will see