34 weeks - on the positive note

OK let me start to blog about the good thing that happen to me during this pregnancy. I got pregnant and I didn't realize that I am pregnant until one day I get my breakfast and suddenly puke. That's not normal right! Set me an alarm and here you go - hi baby no 4!.

The not so good which I will not dwell in this posting is that the morning sickness still the same and start to kick in right after I knew that I am pregnant. But of course like the rest of my pregnancy the gender guessing is the best part ever. We waited and waited until the day that the doctor says - look it's a girl!  Guess who has the biggest smile of all. Of course dear hubby. So we spill the news to our boys and Aariz went over the moon while Fawwaz is really upset. When I asked he simply said "Now I can't go around and mandi bogel anymore :(". Among all my kids as of now, he is the drama king of the house, yet so innocent.

Second trimester is where you see me cooking day and night. Is like I'm under cooking spell. I really love cooking and baking and I experimented quite a number of new recipe. I never cooked this much in my entire life. So this must be the baby. Coincide with my new house and my series of housewarming, rather than I cater ( I did once during kenduri doa selamat ) I went on and on cooking for friends and family. Slowly but surely I make sure everyone are full and happy- eating.

Then come the third trimester - there is a mood swing by this time, cooking becoming less and less of my interest now. I developed a new hobby. Home deco - not that I manage to fully deco my house because of the money constraint (yeah no more extras that we can use to buy that 10k painting or to put a 10k playground outside the house or to have 10k worth of landscaping ...sob sob). So we have to settle with what we have left - which make my semi creative mind work hard to think what I can do. First I make hubby to buy some trees...yes our house is togel just like that and I hate it. So now, we have like 7 trees outside the house and 2 inside. Still no canggih manggih landscape but we work with what we have la yer. Then I have plenty of empty walls. So I bought multiple frames from ikea - and wall stickers from viva homes. Till now still resting happily at our nursing room. Of course I come out with all the idea but I need someone to work on it right and that's hubby lah! Sigh don't know when he will start to work on that pulak. Not to mention those ayat2 resting nicely dalam store waiting for their turn to be hung on the wall. The other thing not to forget is to re-design kids room.Yeah earlier  when we moved in I have set one room for my eldest, while the second and third can share the other room. Now with the new addition, I've been thinking to move no 1 and 2 to the bigger room while no 3 and 4 stays at the middle room. Means in terms or bedding and all that I have to move around too and buy a new set too. So last few weeks, we bought a super single each for my eldest and second child, leave them at the room where they currently stays in, add in Expedite furniture from Ikea so that they can keep some of their books and toys in the room. The other room where they supposed to move in - we furnish with a cupboard (its empty before just full with toys), add in Expedite and a chest drawer from Ikea so when the time come we can send no 3 and 4 to this room. As of now this serve more as a play room as the toy is all over the place! Then we moved the queen bed to the guest room below, furnish the guest room with small cupboard and chest drawer, and I put baby cot there so that will serve as my confinement room and nursing room. Oh yeah and I bought a small round table to be put next to my wet kitchen. Next is to move my 2 seater sofa from family area second floor to my kitchen dining area. I want to have a small cosy corner that people can sit on the sofa while a few other drink coffee from the round table or from my Island.

They are quite a number of thing I would like to add to the house, like arm chair for the main hall to accompany my L shape sofa, some bean bag for our family area and few bean bag for the play room too!. Again few things have to wait lah kan...as I said tabung dah menyurut and last I check I still considering option to be full time housewife though the offer to do part time still valid. But seriously 4 kids - I know my maid can't cope and I don't feel like putting my kids future to her too haha.

See my good thing posting goes pretty long right! I am looking forward for the new chapter of my life to start! Yeah new addition of the family is always something to look forward. You will wonder how it will impact the family dynamic and all that. I have one super curious boy, one super drama and another super bossy - so what's next ?

34 weeks and counting

This is my 34 weeks. I have as early as 3 weeks (if i don't go for pre-term labor which I wish I will not) or as long as 6-8 more weeks to go. But as the rest of the majority mothers out there, this is the phase where you feels like" owh tak tahan and I just want to pop now and get it done and over!".

I want my body back, I want my normal me feelings back, I want my energy my spirit to go up normal and as usual!. Sigh - I know it selfish. They said the longer the baby in the tummy the better for the baby, for their development and so on!.

Well though this is not the first time for me, to be exact ...number 4 normal pregnancy for me but the whole experience and feelings is totally different. Not sure is it because of the age, or the gender of the baby that I'm carrying - I feels energetic at one time then tired to the max the next time. I had this peak of really high stress level in my working life here in my current role for a duration of time that i guess effect my pregnancy stability too. And now towards the end I had all this funny symptom like super early braxton hicks contraction and it went super long and super uncomfortable (painful but I won't describe it as super painful) that I think I may go to labor like anytime soon. Concentration - yeah I totally lost it!. I think at some point of time I become a really dangerous lady driver as I really not sure what am I thinking. The most honk I received in my life is during my final trimester for this pregnancy! Luckily so far nothing really bad happen.

Well this is the down side that I'm feeling right now - and I can keep on going on and on about it.

THE FACT - they are quite a number of good things happening during this pregnancy too. Which is not fair that I keep on focusing on the bad one kan...I will update on the good one later...

Dear Diary

Dear Diary - Ecewah. OK too girlish - better stick to my own writing style.

I have few things going on, first is the launch of the one and only project that I handle. We've been working on it for almost a year and finally it is going somewhere. This project is the reasons that I am still here working and the only reasons that when I said I am not continuing after I give birth to my real baby next year and the bosses like pretend that they do not hear my request and try to make me feels like this project is my baby too and I should at least stay and work part time if necessary. The reasons I keep on thinking to or not to leave the company. Anyway on that - I still have at least 2 more months to think about it.

The next one - though the launch of my project will be next week, in the spirit of moving to the new house, ku gagahkan jua utk buat kenduri doa selamat. I make it strictly for families, neighbors - no friends (except for my 4 primary school friends as they are not many of them I keep in touch with). Reasons being, with my current condition I don't think I will be able to entertain the crowd, I want it to be a simple doa selamat with the close one and if I start inviting our friends...almost2 boleh jadi kenduri kawen.The only downside is that when you split the occasion into few then byk la pulak majlis nak kena host. But I like to host makan2 so I am ok with that.So the first one will be held this weekend, mostly cater though of course my mom would like to cook a dish or two but I decided the rest kena source out. I don't have the energy to clean or to cook as of now.

K la...that's the rambling for today. Later

Suke hati

Suke suke hati kan kejap tulis kejap ilang. Of course suka hati I, it's my blog right :). Anyway I've been thinking to write but it's either turn to be really whiny so I thought maybe I should wait for the phase to go off, or if it's something cheerful I may need to put some picture to show you why I am cheerful.


Like today, actually since yesterday. You know weekend now I will stay at my new crib. And I always wanted to share with you the favorite part of the house. The house which why I am so proud of it because the concept and the original idea is all came from us! You see we started with just counting how many square feet we have, I mean the land size area. Then we start to imagine how many room we need, and why. The house have 6+1 room which many were saying " banyak bilik". But come to think about it we are not living like just 3 of us or something. We have 7 + 1 coming along soon. Not to mention that we have a lot of guest, and I love guest. So there's our room, the kids room (sharing basis - 2 room), my mil room (yes she may or may not stays with us), the maid room, one study room and another guest room. See I told ya, I love guest! So I must have a proper guest room, which turn out that the bathroom at the guest room is the second largest in the house haha. One of the minor design flaw if you ask me :). You might be one of my guest ;).

Anyway then it come to few more detailing, like I must be able to see the ground floor for our first floor. Because I am crazy scared to not to know or see what is up there or down there. So we have a beautiful viewing area from our family hall upstairs that can view the main hall down there. Own and I must have a huge bathroom, I always wanted a bathroom just like a hotel bathroom. Even with the space constraint, yeap I am able to have that too. But because of that I have to sacrifice the full walk-in wardrobe by just having a mini one facing the bathroom and the rest is in my room. It's hard to visual rite, that's why I said earlier that my happy posting need to have picture in it :p. But I am lazy and I am pregnant so I can get away from that :). I love the bathroom and my bedroom and I love the fact that bathroom is open - no doors !! Sexy huh :)Yeah yeah I just want to let you keep on imagining things haha!

We have balcony, two of them. One is at our bedroom and the other one is at the family area. The second balcony is impromptu decisions because there is a space, it's kind a big enough to turn it as balcony and it turn to be beautiful too. The contractor made a nice bench there for us to just chill there petang2 sambil minum kopi. But we also have another open patio at the ground floor that is also cool for us to just lepak there for minum2...

Okla hubby bising, ask me to get some shower. I can go on and on about what are other things that I like here, but I will just make you pissed off too. Mainly because you have no idea what am I talking about kan haha! Yes yes I should take a picture and post it here, or maybe you should come and visit, and be our guest :)

Be thankful

Hubby saw my blog posting and his comment was on the formatting. Ok fine, I didn't put in paragraph. I actually did when I'm writing the blog post but when I publish it the formatting all gone haywire. And I am too lazy to figure out how to make it better yet!. Anyway today I work from home again. My boss is being too nice allowing me to work from home. Which helps a lot because I need enough sleep and I can't stop vomiting yet. This time round all food taste awful even drinks, I've tried almost everything and the after taste really killing me because it will trigger either to vomit or a very bad nausea. And as usual I can just whine about how bad is my pregnancy and how I wish all this can pass by as soon as possible. The only thing that I should be thankful is how supportive people around me are. Like my boss who allow me to work from home, hubby that did almost everything from cleaning, taking care of the kids and myself as well as my parents who obliging giving me anything that I want to eat or to drink. Like just now, I crave for air kelapa, then out of nowhere fresh coconut is ready for me. The kids, well they are the sweetest. They massage me, like really massage me and then they take turn be with me when hubby is out to buy food or do errands. Well to start with this is just the first 2 months. I have 7 more months to go. Wish me luck!

Centro KLCC and hairkunst The Curve

I'm just checking my reader statistic to see if I still have readers during my quiet time...apparently people drop by to read about the spa review. Pretty interesting. I just notice that since I move to my new role 2 years back, my spa activity has reduced tremendously but my hair salon activity has increased. Bukan sebab apa...basuh rambut require less time and more cost economic if I just want to have a quick relaxing time. When I work in KLCC a while back, my favorite hair salon was Centro. The only down side is that wash and blow cost you around RM60. Which is a bit too expensive, but the service is not that bad. Why is not that bad rather than excellence? Because depending on the who did the wash and blow, the scalp massage service can be really good or it can be just so so. Since last year our office has moved to new location, near to The Curve. And I didn't try any due to the workload. But I keep on reading review recommending hairkunst salon. So few months back I gave a try...and guess what, I fell in love immediately. They have equipment that when they wash your hair you feels like its really clean your scalp. I don't know what they call it but it was good. I've tried a few time there, it cost me RM35 for wash and blow. The service is good and again depending on who did your hair, it may varies. But at least this one it goes from either really good or not bad at all. I know the fact that I am a hair salon and spa junkie... But I have to be realistic here. Soon I'm going to have my number 4 and I plan to be stay at home mom for at least a year or two...means I have to be prudent. I need to look out for DIY spa, facial, hair treatment. Did I tell you at my new home I have a spa like bathroom. Here we go for DIY treatment. Will update you once I get started!

Chew

It has been a while. Many things has happened and Alhamdulillah most of it are good things. The house is ready, not fully but we consider it ready as we have been staying overnight during weekend for the past few weeks. There's still a little bit of touch up work here and there and just kena pejam mata and urut dada each time you sees a little tiny winy things that for my standard - still not done yet! But overall I am satisfied. The design is as per what we imagined, white door, white border/skirting around the house...modern english. There's a lot of windows/sliding where we can get our natural lights - though at some point mcm expose pulak sebab u can see your neighbor and all. Berangan rumah tepi pantai or dalam hutan mcm rumah Edward in Twilight :p. As we get the house ready and all - trying to furnish and to think of what is best for the kids, we look around for school and manage to register my second child to school of our choice. I had a warm feeling going to this school as the kids and the teacher are all friendly. Now the only challenge is to get Aariz to the same school and we can only do the transfer in November.And we call the office who manage the transfer, upon hearing the school name terus kata "Ala Encik susah nak masuk sekolah ni" and we where like what? I cannot be sending my kids to two different school. It's going to be manic for us to send them each morning. Belum bila no 3 masuk kindy. Anyway, we just try again in November and see how it goes. No when we said kita mampu merancang dan Tuhan yang menentukan - our plan (my plan has changed again in a blink). While getting the house ready, while scouting for schools and activities for our kids, scratching our head to get which school bus driver and all and all of sudden I am pregnant with no 4. No 4...hurm...My oh my. I know once I said maybe I shld be thinking of no 4 right after no 3...but that is all in my mind... And out of the blue I feel hungry all the time, then I start to vomit and that is the alarm. Check pregnancy test 1 negative, check 2 positive...and I am now a grumpy mummy who vomit day and night 8 weeks pregnant. Pwehhhh it took me a long week to think and think what should I do next. What I should really do. This is no 4 and no joke - my third one is still a baby!. My second is going to primary 1 next year, we are in the midst of moving house and pretty far from my parents. I mean not near enough to get them to help sending or picking up from school if there is emergency or looking after my 3rd and 4th baby... And as I think and think, things become pretty clear. Maybe I should try...maybe I should see how it goes. If I become a full time mom. I have less money or maybe no money (since it will be solely hubby punya belas ikhsan kan) but I may have the happiness. My kids may become a better person. I may not need to abandon this blog again and I can concentrate on my passion like baking and cooking! Too many to chew? Yes it is for me too.

Tadada

One of my colleague in the office claim that he found my blog. So let's see if he is really here, so please drop a comment.

When he mention about my blog, I wonder and ponder. Is there any secrets that I put in here that is not suitable for public viewing? Get a little bit nervous thinking about it hehe. Then today I have little extra time to surf around and start reading back my old posting. Nehhhhh nothing much. Is just my silly whining or story telling about things around me. Particularly my little family.

Well currently I am a little busy with things that happening around me. My last posting was in October last year where we start talking about building our new home. It start progressing pretty well. 60% there and another 40% critical path to go. And the critical path is when we talk about finishing. Building a house from scratch as I put in my facebook is an experience that I just want to do once. No more....it's a lot easier to get pregnant several time, but the stress and the pain is a lot more in building a house. That very little detail on every single thing to decide. Color to choose, which size and design, what material to use, and the list goes on.

If I am not lazy and if I am kind enough, I'll share some of the picture on the progress of the house. Oh yeah...I'll prob will blog again...just to tell you the stories of my amazing Eimran. He is now 1 year 3 months old. Cheeky and handsome and everything lah! Bye

Milestone

Hubby is still outside with our contractor for the pj house project, while I take the chance to update my blog ( gile semangat wehhhh). Actually I want to get the update for the project from hubby and I just too lazy to join the conversation because if not I have to dress up a little bit. Too comfortable with my pajamas.....

This morning I join my friends for breakfast. Note that all of them are full time housewives. Catching up a lil bit on what's happening in our lives and yada yada...gosh how I envy them for having the courage...though they keep on pointing the pain of not havin that extra moolah to have fun. I for whatever reasons now put another milestone here before I can really take a break. Actually 2 milestones....first is to make sure the pj house is ready and we can all settle down , like really really settle down this time. I hope with the distance from my parent's home will make me be independent. Then I can sort out all my domestic laziness...perhaps that if the distance is ok for me from office to home then I might not be that tired if I still have to work for a little while. But then my second milestone... Is to have another child. Hopefully yang bongsu.... I've been thinking and observing...you know when you go out, I tend to observe older couple maybe around their 40s and look at their kids. You see that if they have 3 is like tak berapa meriah, 4 nampak mcm best sket. 5 maybe is a bonus tapi seriously I don't know if I can put up with 5. Though to be honest 3 ni pun dah semput nak divide the attention to all of them, but if I were to make room for one more....maybe ok kot?

So the plan is move to new house, then get pregnant then take a break for maybe 5 years ?

Ok sorry entry melalut .......

Chickened out!

I am back in my blogging business. See how long I can survive.

Anyway I just read this one blogger about how she treasure her love as stay at home mom while doing some freelancing work. How I envy her. For many occasions I already in the cross road of becoming a stay at home but I chickened out for one reason. Fear of not having enough. To put more salt to the wound, we are now venturing of building a new home, and selling our current house that we are staying which results to we have to stay at my mom house by end of this year till possibly June next year. Until the new house ready. And that extended to that 'we' or maybe 'I' need the extra money so that I can spoil myself with kitchen and bedding accessories... But again when I keep on putting excuses that is where I am trapped and my mind keep on wondering what if I quite and be stay at home mom. Typical!.

Now, my current state of life. Full of love. Having 3 kids make my life colorful. No word can describe the happiness when you reach home and see their faces. When they start talking to you trying to get your attention. And when they play with each other. My first one Aariz can really entertain his 9 mons little brother. Aariz will make his goofy face and Eimran will be giggling and laughing out loud which make Fawwaz jealous. Then Fawwaz will ask Aariz to stop doing that to make his way to entertain the little brother...for some reasons most of the time Eimran will not laugh and just look at him give him a one kind look. That's kinda funny. However in terms of taking care of the little one, Fawwaz shows more commitment though whether or not he can execute the task properly is still a question...

I just steal my 15 mins lunch hour time to jot this down. Since my lunch partner disappearing, I now have more time in the office ;) Later

Boat

This evening while surfing the net, I then suddenly remember my blog. Then I open it while hubby look at me a glance and start saying this " Huh sape la nak tengok blog u yg dah besawang tu" and I look at him...in my heart "amboiiii bukan main ko yer".

Later tonight...I feel the urge to update the blog :) Let see if I can keep this up haha.

When you don't blog for quite sometime, you have 1001 stories to tell. But then everything just come as bit and pieces here and there, simply because there's too many to tell. So now I have to choose a topic and concentrate on that one.

OK let me start with this. I start working after my maternity sometime in March. Where things are really like a roller coaster. Your life is, I mean work life is just like a limbo. When you are in a limbo then you hang on to a few which is in the same boat as you. You dwell, you whine, you laugh, you fight with those around you...and soon enough you create the bonding.

Well I have not create any bonding with anyone for years since I hang on to my husband, then a few other friends that I keep close. Those who've been in the same boat in a different occasion. So it's kinda interesting to have this new bonding. For once I felt that I am back at school. Several occasions we just run wild, laughing and giggling and teasing each other. Sharing our sorrow and happiness, talk more beyond our career, our passion, dream ,family and others. But you know like other movies, good story will always have to end.

Starting from tomorrow one of our colleague, who we have created the bonding with, has spear her wings for the better. She got promoted and leave us early then expected. There goes my partner in crime, who will go hungry as early as I am, that leave the office sharp at 12 to find good food for lunch. There goes my partner for meeting, that will appear as confidence as we can, talking smoothly when after the meeting we just laugh out loud, just wondering what the hell are we talking about just now...There goes my teacher, as wise as she is, has taught me all on how to see the issue, solutions, objective, people... all from a different perspective.

Well as much as I want to push her out from the car, when she first told me that she's leaving, I am happy for her. Wishing her all the best for her career and hope that she found what she's looking for. Now she leaves me with a whole lot of responsibilities to carry on from here, but she also leaves me her wisdom to keep on going. And yes, now I have to tie the other few who still here in the boat, ensuring that they will not leave me as well ! HAHAHA :p

Share with me

There are few things that I would like to catch up. For example, baking, cooking, facial and my usual wash and blow. Time is something that I crave for, which I have been really slacking into a few other important thing. Spending quality time with the kids.

Juggling career and taking care of family is really hard at least for me. I know my strength and when it's come to do something that is not really my forte, I can and I will do it, but it will take a little bit of my energy to get it done. That will sometimes effect my performance at home. I've been put in some thoughts on wether or not to continue with my career. Should I just do routine work, part time or just be a housewife. But then they are fear in me thinking of will it be enough? Can I be a housewife? Will I get bored? What if I want my career back? How will I get my designer handbag ? ( hubby pls take note hehe ) ..... Well they are 1001 things keep on running on my mind...

I know some of you did that before, or currently been doing that. Care to share some thoughts?

After a while

I've been abandoning my blog for quite a while. Not that I don't have anything to update. So many things happening in my life. But somehow, something has causes my life going down the road that I am not suppose to be. The road of depression... Haha kidding! Not that until I get really depress, but bad enough that I don't dare to write things here afraid of that I cross my border.

What I learn here however, things always look greener on the other sides when we all know it is actually doesn't. The experience that I learn, though it might not be as what I expected, are still remarkable. When you look at the positives sides, you know that what you take away is not one, but more. And most important, the value that you create, for yourself and people who matters.

Anyway, I leave that first. As I said, afraid that I cross my border if I start writing about it. Now talk about things that really matter, myself, my kids and hubby dearie.

Early this year I gave birth to another beautiful boy of mine. His name is Eimran. At my age I am a proud mother of 3 boys, and sometimes still unsure on how am I going to raise the boys... What the heck! Just do it lah :p Now Eimran is 6 months, cheeky just like his brothers, the most tembam among the others and my favorite sweet heart for now. Reasons being, so far he is the only one that don't talk much to me.....yet. Enjoy it while it last !

We are having dilemma of getting a bigger car, between need and want I guess this is more want than need. Today due of my itchiness ( of course me not hubby who is the most practical men in the world ...ehem!), we went around feasting our eyes with the latest 7 seated in town. From Wish to Stream to Mazda 5 and finally, Peugeot 5008...... I drool over to of course Peugeot 5008. Gosh so sexy and the interior is very classy. And guess the kids...ma belila la ma, from one car to another... Really I think the kids thought that we pluck the money like their grandfather pluck rambutan from the tree behind the house. We end up just collecting brochure although Fawwaz seriously unhappy seeing us going out from the showroom empty handed. For you guys looking for 7 seated, I really recommend you to have a look at 5008.

K la, I guess this is the update for now. I hope I can write more after this...will see

Deng!

Busy busy busy.....

Happy happy happy...

Sometimes... a bit dizzy...

Do you guys need me to update ? :p Or should I just leave the blog as it is?

Life

A few days earlier a friend of mine wrote on my FB stating that she's happy seeing me having a happy life. I do get the compliment quite frequent from friends about me to be lucky having a happy life. Well for me happy or not is up to individual. Of course to be honest as well, my life is not pretty as it may seems. They are ups and down. Just up to me to highlight which one of it and to of course lead my life to the happier one.

Like today, I was about to blog about negative things. I wrote a few draft and just can't finish it. It just seems wrong to write down every single detail about it plus the hatred and the negative things. I feel like I have to put down a lot of energy just to draft a few words on it. And I surrender.

They are few guideline that I follow to keep me sane and be happy in life :

Rule no 1 :
To be happy in life is when you less care about what other people think. Take criticism to improvise yourself. Or else, just ignore it.

Rule no 2 :
When you set expectation to yourself, make sure is something that you can achieve. Of course you can set higher expectation, but you have to know your ground because no one else is going to hurt when you didn't manage to achieve it. It's your own self.

In my case since I have family, self expectation that I have and my spouse have is equally important. It need to be realistic. Because it's hurt when you hope on something and it did not happen.

Rule no 3 :
Love your family. They are the one who love you back unconditionally. I love my parents and my sibling. Of course so much love to give to my 3 kids, who has been wonderful to me. And hubby though he has been tough to me lately...but without him I am not who I am now.

Rule no 4 :
Choose your friends. Which is happen to be true. Some friends just happen to be poisonous. Should just remove them from your friend list!

Rule no 5 :
Love yourself! Well this is the most important rule actually. There is nothing else matter when you don't love yourself first.

Life is beautiful when we choose it to be beautiful. And I choose mine to be beautiful and meaningful!

About breast (milk, pump and feeding)

I've got myself a Medela Freestyle to express my BM and tried to use it first time last night. Manage to get 3.5 ounces in the span of 20 minutes... Itu pun hubby ask me to pump first before feeding the boy. Which I am not sure after that dia kenyang ke tak feed on me as it took him one hour to nyot nyot.

When I got Aariz last time, we don't have much to spend. So we bought Medela manual pump...I forgot the name but it's freaking long and hard just to express the BM. I give up after that. Then when we got Fawwaz I bought Medela Swing I think which is not too bad but I travel quite a bit. So I stop at that as well. Both of them is on formula and BM till they are 4 to 6 months. Then fully formula after that.

For Eimran, I am getting older and wiser and maybe has a lot of patience too. I manage to so far fully breastfeed him till to date. With the Medela Freestyle that I have invested quite a bit and the breast pump is pretty cool as well, I will try to give him EBM until he prob at least a year old? Though I will not rule out that the possibility for me to start give him some formula as a supplement. We will see. This is going to be an interesting journey for me and Eimran.

28 days

It's 28 days today and my first time bathing Eimran myself. Yerla tak boleh duduk cangkung la apa la for the past 28 days and hari ni pun nak mandikan tak la cangkung tapi almost bersimpuh gitu. Some might wonder why am I so obsess with this confinement thingy...Well if you've been reminded 24x7 and been feed with all horror stories about people who does not practice it properly...mau tak jadi obsess.

Anyway my body strength and feeling is back to almost at the normal stage. I had lost my body and feeling from day 1 of my pregnancy...then upon delivery your body just exhausted and on recovery mode. Now when you wake up suddenly feel energetic and you are back to yourself! Eiii happy okeh!

Now what am I up to? First I need to get used on how to take care of Eimran myself. Been getting so much help. Next taking care Eimran and Fawwaz and then Aariz. How to manage this 3 boys without losing my voice and my mind. That's important though!. I hope all of us can go back to our home this weekend and start the routine from our house. The morning routine most importantly. I have to get up as early as possible to make breakfast and get one of the kids ready...maybe I choose Eimran as he does not move that much yet and not talking. The other 2 boys, require a lot of energy just to get them to the bathroom.

Then the feeding routine. I still have not express my BM yet. Plan to start doing it today. Have been wasting precious BM as it keep on leaking till my whole shirt soak with milk...By end of the day I smell like sour milk. This one need a lottttt of motivation to express and keep the milk...

And last one is the travel part ... if everything goes well it will be materialized. They are still approval, visa and few others to work on. And if any of those get stuck somewhere then mission aborted.

Oh boy I am so looking forward for my after confinement....the short term plan.

Breastfeeding hunger and the confinement

I never feel constantly hungry like this all the time. That I start to google and see if it's normal for breastfeeding mom to be hungry all the time. Then I stumble into this one blog that is funny and hilarious describing the hunger that she had.

She describe that during pregnancy we tend to crave something specific. Yes we are hungry but we want to eat specific thing. It reminded me when I am about to deliver Aariz my first boy. I want to have Rhumba Frappe from Starbucks but instead hubby brought me Milo Ice from Mc Donald. The results, Aariz has been drooling pretty bad till he was 1 year old !!

But this breastfeeding hunger is even more nuts. Excuse me even this is my third child. This is my first time breastfeeding him exclusively without any help till today. So I am new with this phenomena. The hunger that you would want to eat anything. Anything even dry crackers looks so tempting that you would be able to finish 5-10 pieces at one go. When it comes to my main meal which would definitely be rice...I can eat a lot! A lot means really a lot lot! The only thing that helps me a bit now is that, I am on confinement. So my food selection is a bit restricted. But still doesn't stop me to eat lah!

When it comes to confinement...I have to admire my mom effort to make sure that I follow the confinement rule. At least the basic one. Like I totally enjoy just sitting around doing nothing....which make me crazy when it comes to the 20th day. The food is not he hard part because when I am normal...normal is when I am not pregnant or breastfeeding...is just me. I can survive skipping my breakfast or lunch or dinner. I am fine. So as long the are food that is cook with pepper, I am fine with that. Crackers, cereal, fruits... I am fine with it. But not be able to go out and have to maintain good posture all the time...well that is a bit hard.

The thing about confinement that a lot of people fail to see is to achieve the long term goal. And the cannot be seen goal. Is to make sure that your womb heal properly and back to the original place and size. To make sure that your vein is not fill in with wind. Because long term, if you keep on having a flabby tummy and you feel that something is hogging there down under...that is all because of your womb. And if you start become windy, having varicose vain, back ache and others, is all because you did not take care of yourself. Well that is my mom's, aunt's, neighbor's even maid long lecture about confinement.

But nonetheless, I enjoy some of the treatment during confinement. Feel like a queen. Someone massage you for 7 days in a row then followed by once a week. The lulur is good as I can feel my skin is pretty smooth now. Pilis make my headache go away and one thing that I love the most is bath with hot steam daun2 which please don't ask me what daun is that. I just know two, daun pandan and daun sireh. They are 5 more which I don't know what.

I don't know if I will go through this again. Will I get another child? Because I am not sure if my mom can put up with me one more time. She's getting older. Now she really took care of everything. Making sure that I eat right, I get my sleep, maintain my posture and follow the confinement rule. She ensure that I get help with the baby and also my other kids. One thing for sure I have to learn all this. Because next time when it comes to my sister, high chances I have to take care of her like what my mom did to me. Just hope that for my lil brother, his wife will be taken care by his in laws :)

Will I do the unthinkable ?

Hubby is on the waiting list for his upcoming training. He has been traveling for his entire career and just last year is the first year that he stay put in the country due to a local project and high commitment. And I, besides that few that I have to travel due to business, I missed out quite a number of opportunity to travel along with my husband. Quite a few with my family as well :(

This time round I am contemplating whether should I go or not. I never been to US, while hubby has been to the country like countless time. I always want to have this perfect timing when going for travel. Like I want all my kids to tag along...I want to have like at least 3 weeks for sightseeing especially when the journey is as far as this. However if I were to go with him this round, I should prob bring the baby since I want to breastfeed the little one. My 2 poor kids can't tag along since number one they are schooling, number 2 the travel period is too short, we can only spend 2 weeks there where 1 week hubby will be on training. So decisions, decisions, decisions! The timing is perfect just after I completed my confinement and before I start working again. So what do you think?

The best part is right after I came back to the office I have a company trip to an Island and week after will be hubby's company trip to another Island! Looks like I get my dose of traveling if it's all materialize!....

Now I am soooo motivated to complete my confinement :)

Cepuk!

Now that his routine has changed from terjaga2 malam to terjaga2 siang...I am not sure if it's better for me ke tak. I'm sure it is better for papa though haha. Now it's hard for me to get my me time in the morning. Trying to get Eimran to sleep makes me want to sleep as well. But when I almost fall asleep tetiba jek Eimran will be crying or making unsettle sounds...Aiyah!

Kids these days is either too strong or what? I tried to swaddle him which is ok for the first week but it become a nightmare come second week. Now entering the third week it looks like no way he can be swaddled more than an hour. He can magically get out from the swaddle. Starting with his right hand, then left hand and suddenly terus terbukak bedung dia. Then this is the time when he become restless! I tried pacifier. He hate it big time. But I don't care :p. He pop it out, I'll put it back until he is settle.

Now I have 3, different age, different look and different behavior! Each of them needs attention...at some point of time mmg rasa nak cepuk satu satu... But they are too sweet to be cepuk...

Sabarlah mama :)