Kartini.es

Milestone

2011-10-19T23:04:00.003+08:00

Hubby is still outside with our contractor for the pj house project, while I take the chance to update my blog ( gile semangat wehhhh). Actually I want to get the update for the project from hubby and I just too lazy to join the conversation because if not I have to dress up a little bit. Too comfortable with my pajamas.....

This morning I join my friends for breakfast. Note that all of them are full time housewives. Catching up a lil bit on what's happening in our lives and yada yada...gosh how I envy them for having the courage...though they keep on pointing the pain of not havin that extra moolah to have fun. I for whatever reasons now put another milestone here before I can really take a break. Actually 2 milestones....first is to make sure the pj house is ready and we can all settle down , like really really settle down this time. I hope with the distance from my parent's home will make me be independent. Then I can sort out all my domestic laziness...perhaps that if the distance is ok for me from office to home then I might not be that tired if I still have to work for a little while. But then my second milestone... Is to have another child. Hopefully yang bongsu.... I've been thinking and observing...you know when you go out, I tend to observe older couple maybe around their 40s and look at their kids. You see that if they have 3 is like tak berapa meriah, 4 nampak mcm best sket. 5 maybe is a bonus tapi seriously I don't know if I can put up with 5. Though to be honest 3 ni pun dah semput nak divide the attention to all of them, but if I were to make room for one more....maybe ok kot?

So the plan is move to new house, then get pregnant then take a break for maybe 5 years ?

Ok sorry entry melalut .......

Chickened out!

2011-10-18T12:56:00.003+08:00

I am back in my blogging business. See how long I can survive.

Anyway I just read this one blogger about how she treasure her love as stay at home mom while doing some freelancing work. How I envy her. For many occasions I already in the cross road of becoming a stay at home but I chickened out for one reason. Fear of not having enough. To put more salt to the wound, we are now venturing of building a new home, and selling our current house that we are staying which results to we have to stay at my mom house by end of this year till possibly June next year. Until the new house ready. And that extended to that 'we' or maybe 'I' need the extra money so that I can spoil myself with kitchen and bedding accessories... But again when I keep on putting excuses that is where I am trapped and my mind keep on wondering what if I quite and be stay at home mom. Typical!.

Now, my current state of life. Full of love. Having 3 kids make my life colorful. No word can describe the happiness when you reach home and see their faces. When they start talking to you trying to get your attention. And when they play with each other. My first one Aariz can really entertain his 9 mons little brother. Aariz will make his goofy face and Eimran will be giggling and laughing out loud which make Fawwaz jealous. Then Fawwaz will ask Aariz to stop doing that to make his way to entertain the little brother...for some reasons most of the time Eimran will not laugh and just look at him give him a one kind look. That's kinda funny. However in terms of taking care of the little one, Fawwaz shows more commitment though whether or not he can execute the task properly is still a question...

I just steal my 15 mins lunch hour time to jot this down. Since my lunch partner disappearing, I now have more time in the office ;) Later

Boat

2011-10-16T22:46:00.004+08:00

This evening while surfing the net, I then suddenly remember my blog. Then I open it while hubby look at me a glance and start saying this " Huh sape la nak tengok blog u yg dah besawang tu" and I look at him...in my heart "amboiiii bukan main ko yer".

Later tonight...I feel the urge to update the blog :) Let see if I can keep this up haha.

When you don't blog for quite sometime, you have 1001 stories to tell. But then everything just come as bit and pieces here and there, simply because there's too many to tell. So now I have to choose a topic and concentrate on that one.

OK let me start with this. I start working after my maternity sometime in March. Where things are really like a roller coaster. Your life is, I mean work life is just like a limbo. When you are in a limbo then you hang on to a few which is in the same boat as you. You dwell, you whine, you laugh, you fight with those around you...and soon enough you create the bonding.

Well I have not create any bonding with anyone for years since I hang on to my husband, then a few other friends that I keep close. Those who've been in the same boat in a different occasion. So it's kinda interesting to have this new bonding. For once I felt that I am back at school. Several occasions we just run wild, laughing and giggling and teasing each other. Sharing our sorrow and happiness, talk more beyond our career, our passion, dream ,family and others. But you know like other movies, good story will always have to end.

Starting from tomorrow one of our colleague, who we have created the bonding with, has spear her wings for the better. She got promoted and leave us early then expected. There goes my partner in crime, who will go hungry as early as I am, that leave the office sharp at 12 to find good food for lunch. There goes my partner for meeting, that will appear as confidence as we can, talking smoothly when after the meeting we just laugh out loud, just wondering what the hell are we talking about just now...There goes my teacher, as wise as she is, has taught me all on how to see the issue, solutions, objective, people... all from a different perspective.

Well as much as I want to push her out from the car, when she first told me that she's leaving, I am happy for her. Wishing her all the best for her career and hope that she found what she's looking for. Now she leaves me with a whole lot of responsibilities to carry on from here, but she also leaves me her wisdom to keep on going. And yes, now I have to tie the other few who still here in the boat, ensuring that they will not leave me as well ! HAHAHA :p

Share with me

2011-07-24T23:01:00.002+08:00

There are few things that I would like to catch up. For example, baking, cooking, facial and my usual wash and blow. Time is something that I crave for, which I have been really slacking into a few other important thing. Spending quality time with the kids.

Juggling career and taking care of family is really hard at least for me. I know my strength and when it's come to do something that is not really my forte, I can and I will do it, but it will take a little bit of my energy to get it done. That will sometimes effect my performance at home. I've been put in some thoughts on wether or not to continue with my career. Should I just do routine work, part time or just be a housewife. But then they are fear in me thinking of will it be enough? Can I be a housewife? Will I get bored? What if I want my career back? How will I get my designer handbag ? ( hubby pls take note hehe ) ..... Well they are 1001 things keep on running on my mind...

I know some of you did that before, or currently been doing that. Care to share some thoughts?

After a while

2011-07-23T23:23:00.002+08:00

I've been abandoning my blog for quite a while. Not that I don't have anything to update. So many things happening in my life. But somehow, something has causes my life going down the road that I am not suppose to be. The road of depression... Haha kidding! Not that until I get really depress, but bad enough that I don't dare to write things here afraid of that I cross my border.

What I learn here however, things always look greener on the other sides when we all know it is actually doesn't. The experience that I learn, though it might not be as what I expected, are still remarkable. When you look at the positives sides, you know that what you take away is not one, but more. And most important, the value that you create, for yourself and people who matters.

Anyway, I leave that first. As I said, afraid that I cross my border if I start writing about it. Now talk about things that really matter, myself, my kids and hubby dearie.

Early this year I gave birth to another beautiful boy of mine. His name is Eimran. At my age I am a proud mother of 3 boys, and sometimes still unsure on how am I going to raise the boys... What the heck! Just do it lah :p Now Eimran is 6 months, cheeky just like his brothers, the most tembam among the others and my favorite sweet heart for now. Reasons being, so far he is the only one that don't talk much to me.....yet. Enjoy it while it last !

We are having dilemma of getting a bigger car, between need and want I guess this is more want than need. Today due of my itchiness ( of course me not hubby who is the most practical men in the world ...ehem!), we went around feasting our eyes with the latest 7 seated in town. From Wish to Stream to Mazda 5 and finally, Peugeot 5008...... I drool over to of course Peugeot 5008. Gosh so sexy and the interior is very classy. And guess the kids...ma belila la ma, from one car to another... Really I think the kids thought that we pluck the money like their grandfather pluck rambutan from the tree behind the house. We end up just collecting brochure although Fawwaz seriously unhappy seeing us going out from the showroom empty handed. For you guys looking for 7 seated, I really recommend you to have a look at 5008.

K la, I guess this is the update for now. I hope I can write more after this...will see

Deng!

2011-04-24T20:58:00.002+08:00

Busy busy busy.....

Happy happy happy...

Sometimes... a bit dizzy...

Do you guys need me to update ? :p Or should I just leave the blog as it is?

Life

2011-02-20T22:43:00.003+08:00

A few days earlier a friend of mine wrote on my FB stating that she's happy seeing me having a happy life. I do get the compliment quite frequent from friends about me to be lucky having a happy life. Well for me happy or not is up to individual. Of course to be honest as well, my life is not pretty as it may seems. They are ups and down. Just up to me to highlight which one of it and to of course lead my life to the happier one.

Like today, I was about to blog about negative things. I wrote a few draft and just can't finish it. It just seems wrong to write down every single detail about it plus the hatred and the negative things. I feel like I have to put down a lot of energy just to draft a few words on it. And I surrender.

They are few guideline that I follow to keep me sane and be happy in life :

Rule no 1 :
To be happy in life is when you less care about what other people think. Take criticism to improvise yourself. Or else, just ignore it.

Rule no 2 :
When you set expectation to yourself, make sure is something that you can achieve. Of course you can set higher expectation, but you have to know your ground because no one else is going to hurt when you didn't manage to achieve it. It's your own self.

In my case since I have family, self expectation that I have and my spouse have is equally important. It need to be realistic. Because it's hurt when you hope on something and it did not happen.

Rule no 3 :
Love your family. They are the one who love you back unconditionally. I love my parents and my sibling. Of course so much love to give to my 3 kids, who has been wonderful to me. And hubby though he has been tough to me lately...but without him I am not who I am now.

Rule no 4 :
Choose your friends. Which is happen to be true. Some friends just happen to be poisonous. Should just remove them from your friend list!

Rule no 5 :
Love yourself! Well this is the most important rule actually. There is nothing else matter when you don't love yourself first.

Life is beautiful when we choose it to be beautiful. And I choose mine to be beautiful and meaningful!

About breast (milk, pump and feeding)

2011-02-09T10:06:00.003+08:00

I've got myself a Medela Freestyle to express my BM and tried to use it first time last night. Manage to get 3.5 ounces in the span of 20 minutes... Itu pun hubby ask me to pump first before feeding the boy. Which I am not sure after that dia kenyang ke tak feed on me as it took him one hour to nyot nyot.

When I got Aariz last time, we don't have much to spend. So we bought Medela manual pump...I forgot the name but it's freaking long and hard just to express the BM. I give up after that. Then when we got Fawwaz I bought Medela Swing I think which is not too bad but I travel quite a bit. So I stop at that as well. Both of them is on formula and BM till they are 4 to 6 months. Then fully formula after that.

For Eimran, I am getting older and wiser and maybe has a lot of patience too. I manage to so far fully breastfeed him till to date. With the Medela Freestyle that I have invested quite a bit and the breast pump is pretty cool as well, I will try to give him EBM until he prob at least a year old? Though I will not rule out that the possibility for me to start give him some formula as a supplement. We will see. This is going to be an interesting journey for me and Eimran.

28 days

2011-02-08T09:25:00.002+08:00

It's 28 days today and my first time bathing Eimran myself. Yerla tak boleh duduk cangkung la apa la for the past 28 days and hari ni pun nak mandikan tak la cangkung tapi almost bersimpuh gitu. Some might wonder why am I so obsess with this confinement thingy...Well if you've been reminded 24x7 and been feed with all horror stories about people who does not practice it properly...mau tak jadi obsess.

Anyway my body strength and feeling is back to almost at the normal stage. I had lost my body and feeling from day 1 of my pregnancy...then upon delivery your body just exhausted and on recovery mode. Now when you wake up suddenly feel energetic and you are back to yourself! Eiii happy okeh!

Now what am I up to? First I need to get used on how to take care of Eimran myself. Been getting so much help. Next taking care Eimran and Fawwaz and then Aariz. How to manage this 3 boys without losing my voice and my mind. That's important though!. I hope all of us can go back to our home this weekend and start the routine from our house. The morning routine most importantly. I have to get up as early as possible to make breakfast and get one of the kids ready...maybe I choose Eimran as he does not move that much yet and not talking. The other 2 boys, require a lot of energy just to get them to the bathroom.

Then the feeding routine. I still have not express my BM yet. Plan to start doing it today. Have been wasting precious BM as it keep on leaking till my whole shirt soak with milk...By end of the day I smell like sour milk. This one need a lottttt of motivation to express and keep the milk...

And last one is the travel part ... if everything goes well it will be materialized. They are still approval, visa and few others to work on. And if any of those get stuck somewhere then mission aborted.

Oh boy I am so looking forward for my after confinement....the short term plan.

Breastfeeding hunger and the confinement

2011-02-01T19:03:00.004+08:00

I never feel constantly hungry like this all the time. That I start to google and see if it's normal for breastfeeding mom to be hungry all the time. Then I stumble into this one blog that is funny and hilarious describing the hunger that she had.

She describe that during pregnancy we tend to crave something specific. Yes we are hungry but we want to eat specific thing. It reminded me when I am about to deliver Aariz my first boy. I want to have Rhumba Frappe from Starbucks but instead hubby brought me Milo Ice from Mc Donald. The results, Aariz has been drooling pretty bad till he was 1 year old !!

But this breastfeeding hunger is even more nuts. Excuse me even this is my third child. This is my first time breastfeeding him exclusively without any help till today. So I am new with this phenomena. The hunger that you would want to eat anything. Anything even dry crackers looks so tempting that you would be able to finish 5-10 pieces at one go. When it comes to my main meal which would definitely be rice...I can eat a lot! A lot means really a lot lot! The only thing that helps me a bit now is that, I am on confinement. So my food selection is a bit restricted. But still doesn't stop me to eat lah!

When it comes to confinement...I have to admire my mom effort to make sure that I follow the confinement rule. At least the basic one. Like I totally enjoy just sitting around doing nothing....which make me crazy when it comes to the 20th day. The food is not he hard part because when I am normal...normal is when I am not pregnant or breastfeeding...is just me. I can survive skipping my breakfast or lunch or dinner. I am fine. So as long the are food that is cook with pepper, I am fine with that. Crackers, cereal, fruits... I am fine with it. But not be able to go out and have to maintain good posture all the time...well that is a bit hard.

The thing about confinement that a lot of people fail to see is to achieve the long term goal. And the cannot be seen goal. Is to make sure that your womb heal properly and back to the original place and size. To make sure that your vein is not fill in with wind. Because long term, if you keep on having a flabby tummy and you feel that something is hogging there down under...that is all because of your womb. And if you start become windy, having varicose vain, back ache and others, is all because you did not take care of yourself. Well that is my mom's, aunt's, neighbor's even maid long lecture about confinement.

But nonetheless, I enjoy some of the treatment during confinement. Feel like a queen. Someone massage you for 7 days in a row then followed by once a week. The lulur is good as I can feel my skin is pretty smooth now. Pilis make my headache go away and one thing that I love the most is bath with hot steam daun2 which please don't ask me what daun is that. I just know two, daun pandan and daun sireh. They are 5 more which I don't know what.

I don't know if I will go through this again. Will I get another child? Because I am not sure if my mom can put up with me one more time. She's getting older. Now she really took care of everything. Making sure that I eat right, I get my sleep, maintain my posture and follow the confinement rule. She ensure that I get help with the baby and also my other kids. One thing for sure I have to learn all this. Because next time when it comes to my sister, high chances I have to take care of her like what my mom did to me. Just hope that for my lil brother, his wife will be taken care by his in laws :)

Will I do the unthinkable ?

2011-01-27T15:20:00.003+08:00

Hubby is on the waiting list for his upcoming training. He has been traveling for his entire career and just last year is the first year that he stay put in the country due to a local project and high commitment. And I, besides that few that I have to travel due to business, I missed out quite a number of opportunity to travel along with my husband. Quite a few with my family as well :(

This time round I am contemplating whether should I go or not. I never been to US, while hubby has been to the country like countless time. I always want to have this perfect timing when going for travel. Like I want all my kids to tag along...I want to have like at least 3 weeks for sightseeing especially when the journey is as far as this. However if I were to go with him this round, I should prob bring the baby since I want to breastfeed the little one. My 2 poor kids can't tag along since number one they are schooling, number 2 the travel period is too short, we can only spend 2 weeks there where 1 week hubby will be on training. So decisions, decisions, decisions! The timing is perfect just after I completed my confinement and before I start working again. So what do you think?

The best part is right after I came back to the office I have a company trip to an Island and week after will be hubby's company trip to another Island! Looks like I get my dose of traveling if it's all materialize!....

Now I am soooo motivated to complete my confinement :)

Cepuk!

2011-01-26T10:34:00.003+08:00

Now that his routine has changed from terjaga2 malam to terjaga2 siang...I am not sure if it's better for me ke tak. I'm sure it is better for papa though haha. Now it's hard for me to get my me time in the morning. Trying to get Eimran to sleep makes me want to sleep as well. But when I almost fall asleep tetiba jek Eimran will be crying or making unsettle sounds...Aiyah!

Kids these days is either too strong or what? I tried to swaddle him which is ok for the first week but it become a nightmare come second week. Now entering the third week it looks like no way he can be swaddled more than an hour. He can magically get out from the swaddle. Starting with his right hand, then left hand and suddenly terus terbukak bedung dia. Then this is the time when he become restless! I tried pacifier. He hate it big time. But I don't care :p. He pop it out, I'll put it back until he is settle.

Now I have 3, different age, different look and different behavior! Each of them needs attention...at some point of time mmg rasa nak cepuk satu satu... But they are too sweet to be cepuk...

Sabarlah mama :)

Twilight

2011-01-25T15:36:00.001+08:00

At first I want to blog on why I am doing my pantang as I was told to do so. Why do I choose to just stay at home on my bed with straight leg and not to shout or get mad with the imperfection around me. Example when the boys start to mess up or choose not to listen to me and start jumping around…really blow my sense. Or why do I obey no to drink cold water, eat cold food and etc. Well simple reasons rather than I write it one by one. I’d rather just bersusah2 for the 40 days and then have my normal life back without much regret later. Good for my body mind and soul. Besides…I do want my body figure back! So this is the small sacrifice that I need to do rather than throwing my money to the slimming center later...( I might still need to throw some money to work on the stretch mark :D).

Anyway to kill time, last weekend I asked my sister to get me the twilight series. Yeah I have not watch the twilight series at all yet. And since I read/watch the review about the movie where a lot of people compliment about how romantic Edward and Jacob are….I decided that hubby need to watch it with me. Hoping that he can pick up a thing or two romantic stuff from the movie, or at least understand on how to become romantic haha.

I fall in love with the movies instantly. It’s a hopeless romantic movie if you ask me and of course, no man on earth will be as romantic and protective like Edward or as muscular and very sure of his feelings like Jacob. But this is every woman or little girl dream. Having a man all for yourself, with no worries of any other things (except to protect you from people who wants to kill you) but spend their whole life for you. No financial worries, no commitment worries, no responsibilities and everything look so perfect. So perfect thinking that there’s a man willing to die for you at any course…Handsome plak tu kan hehe.

Hubby cannot stand the fact of two men falling in love with one girl and each of them can stand seeing the girl being kiss or cuddle by one or another. Each scene that showing the girl is being cuddle or kissed and watched by the other party, hubby will turn at me and show a face like…what the hell: p. It’s kind entertaining watching the movie with hubby.

After watching all 3 series, with this extra time of mine I keep on thinking and reflecting my relationship with my husband. It’s not all nice and happy or anything that I imagine like in the movie. There’s tons of conflicts….but tons of happy memories as well. They are balance here and there that sometime I fail to look at.
When we first get married we are very young and lack of maturity. Hubby still think he can go out and be with his friends till late, I think that he need to be with me 24/7 and when I get pregnant things get even worse. We both were being brought up in a different ways of living so our expectation in marriage is also very different. Over time we learn from each other….well I think hubby is a better learner as he now conveniently settle in my lifestyle. When I said my lifestyle is my parents upbringing. That he become more responsible and show a great deal on his commitment towards the family. Though tahap romantic dia dah menurun kan…. Tapi kan pa, for your information, a bouquet of flower or a nice surprise would still be lovely ok ;)

Haha ok la…Before I start merepek even further. I just can’t wait for the part 1 and 2 of Breaking Dawn. Later...

The labor

2011-01-19T13:04:00.002+08:00

Of course I will not forget to post about my experience in labor. Something that I like to write down for my own memory and just to scare all of you out there hehe!

Anyway this pregnancy I did a lot of research. Maybe I becoming old and wiser and need to be prepared in advance for any decisions that I would like to take. Like when earlier I blog about how I feel that the head is so low during my 35 or 36 weeks. Well it is really low. Then next day it can goes up again. The doctor once said that it looks like it can be anytime. But I didn’t know at that point of time, they are thing like the baby can drop and un-drop. Especially when it comes to second or third pregnancy… As I search further for the info, I notice that a lot of mommies out there that has this problem usually are overdue and ending up having a c-section or being induce.

Then it keeps me thinking that I have been having the contraction mild and strong for the past few weeks. The baby has drop and un-drop God knows how many time. I’m suffering from sleepless night and nothing much I can do about it. Can’t walk too far, get tired easily and I really hate most is when my concentration is affected. I bug hubby to always be with me and entertain me and I know it is affecting his life as well. So when I see the doctor and I ask her about my condition and the moment she said that well if you want then you are ok for induce. Then I said let’s do it.

Then come Monday 10th of Jan we came for check up to see my cervix opening. The tissue is soft enough but again the baby is quite far. I went back home call my usual mak bidan and told her about my condition. She came over a little bit surprise as the last time she check on me the baby head is already engage. See I told ya. Then that night we get prepared for our check in to the hospital.

As usual I can’t sleep well at night. Keep on waking up. This is bad as I need all the energy before going into the labor room. That night as well I feel 3 strong contractions in every half an hour.

Come morning they send me breakfast around 7.00 am. I can’t take breakfast before 9 if not ill throw up. So there goes me into the labor room all hungry as they start the drip on me at 8.30 am. As usual, (shows that I’ve been doing this several time already haha) they will insert some medicine to make you empty the intestine. Then they ask me to change to a special dress and push me straight to the labor room. While waiting the midwife start to wire me with the machine to detect contraction and also baby heart beat. The doctor came around 8.30 and she straight away checks on me and broke my water bag without any warning sigh. According to her the baby head is still far up and I might need to wait. So they start the drip and now we wait.

I almost certain that I want to take epidural for this delivery…I have inform the doctor way earlier and she agree with me considering that I have known the feeling and the pain. However around 9.30 when the midwife starts checking on me, we had this friendly chat and she ask me why I want to take epidural since my record shows that I have a quick delivery. I told her that I’ll wait for another half an hour to see if I can bear the pain. Seems that I already had some contraction but I don’t feel any sharp pain. I mean is just like the usual contraction that I had every other day before this. Some of it even it’s recorded in the machine, I feel nothing. So convincingly the midwife says that it looks like I can tolerate the pain. Around 10 to 10.30 the midwife come again and the contraction getting stronger. With my so call breathing technique I can actually control the pain still. The midwife suggested me to just take the injection if not epidural now. For some reasons that I cannot explain I choose the injection! I have to confess that I have fear of needles. The thought of long, big and sharp needles entering my spine gives me more shivers rather that the contraction. I don’t know if it’s a wise decisions or not but the injection make me a little bit sleepy. And I can still manage the contraction by breathing. I think around 11 something the contraction get even stronger and the midwife start to check on me regularly. But in my mind since the doctor mention earlier that they head is way up so I did not expect anything to happen any sooner. They already start giving me gas and ask me to breathe in and out from there. I took the gas and breathe in breathe out whenever the contraction come. For some reasons it become closer and harder and suddenly I saw they start to put in all the gadget to prepare for the labor next thing I know I have the urge to push, the most painful and just once the baby is out! I still not sure whether is it wise or not wise by not taking the epidural but it’s sure hurt mcm nak tercabut nyawa! This time as well I had this one thing they call rengat, which the contraction still there even after the labor. I think I cried after they clean me up and when hubby asked why did I cry now, ….sebab sakit lagi la bang oiiii!!! The pain lasted for few hours.

Well it’s true that the experience is different from one child to another. However I’m glad when everything is over. My pregnancy experience is always that the baby will have a major influence on my body and emotion. Those feelings will definitely disappear and when the baby wakes up at night the exact time when I can’t sleep towards the end of my pregnancy this is what I told hubby. Now that I can control my body back, I want to get a good night sleep and the baby is all yours! Haha that cheekiness is all me btw

From 2 to 3

2011-01-14T12:45:00.002+08:00

The kids are amaze and happy to see their little brother. It started when I told them that tonight I have to sleep in the hospital. Both of them need to behave at nenek’s house. Then both of them start to scream and protest as they want to go with us. I said this is not a trip to any hotel. This is hospital. And tomorrow perhaps you can see you little brother. Still pretty upset both of them, they let us go.

By noon 12.13 11.01.2011, our third male in the family was born. I could hear him crying out loud and I am glad that everything went well. I am pretty tired that I can’t hold the baby fear that I’ll drop him. I am too hungry as my last meal was last night around 8 pm. All I wanted is just to get a good rest. So I waited till 2pm after the observation when they straight away send me to my room. I saw Fawwaz already waiting there excited to meet his little brother. But his little brother is under observation too. So he has to go home first to pick up Aariz after school and come back to the hospital later. Aariz at home are very pissed being left out and asked to go to afternoon school. Papa sends him the baby picture via his aunty blackberry and he gets excited. But then still when he calls his papa the first thing he asks is how mama is? Is she ok? Is she in pain and is she recovering….? I could hear the conversation but again that time I was really tired and I think I am still on drug :p not able to really respond to anything. The only thing I can think of is how lucky am I to have a caring son.

Later at night they all come and visit us. This time the baby is around. Both Aariz and Fawwaz are again very excited and amaze to see their tiny little brother. Start jumping on my bed and try to carry the baby, which make everybody screaming no! And try to touch the baby face, hair, hand and everything. They are very amaze with how soft the baby skin is and how small my tummy is now.

When we reach home the next day, both of them get super excited again!. All I could see is how happy they are with their new brother, though Aariz insist that he want little sister next time. Which hurm…we shall not go there yet at this point of time. The funny part is that earlier they are all agree that they will take turn changing diaper for the baby and also feeding him. But their first time seeing his papa changing and wiping the little guy poop, they went iiieeeuuwwww and Fawwaz immediately said I don’t want to do this cos it looks ugly! Now they change their mind and insist to feed him instead. But since I am trying to breastfeed the little one they have not yet the chance to help in term of that. Well never mind then, the two brothers always have other idea on how to ‘help’ the little one. So they bring they toy one by one for the little one to play. Which of course trigger another no from me…he is still small and not interested to play yet! I said. Next they try to help to carry or whenever he saw the little one without his little pillow, both of them will try to put the pillow under his head. Which again will make any of us who saw that scream again….do not touch his head!. The brothers sometimes seem pretty frustrated cos they can’t do much with their little brother yet. So what I did is to get them to help me passing some stuff when we want to change their diaper, get them to throw the dirty diaper, and clean up the baby stuff.

I am glad that they accept their little brother well. If you ask me are they not jealous with their little one. I could sense their jealousy a little bit. Thank God that the family is here to support. They get all the attention they need from their aunty, uncle, grandpa and grandma while we busy entertaining the little one. And while we spend some time with them, the little one will be taken care by the family. So far I am happy and that is all I need for now.

The wait

2011-01-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

I am so tired and my whole body aching. Tired of having to lay down or sit down and not be able to walk around much. Sabar Tini, few more days to go.

I get cranky too. My kids call me super garang mom for the past few days. I know I just have to relax...but my body is so tired and in pain sometimes that I could not help myself for being super cranky and emo to!.

Try not to whine but sometimes I just have to let it go isn't it?

Anyway I am blessed to have 2 understanding kids. You know when you are not able to move that much (actually I am too lazy to move my butt already...). Though they called me super garang mom.... but they helped me when I needed help. They do what I ask them to do. Like yesterday and today they have the freedom of going out, playing outdoor, indoor, video game, psp, reading book etc...and today in the afternoon I decided it's enough for Fawwaz and he need to do some revision with me. So he obediently did some of the workbook revision on his math and also alphabets. Yes Fawwaz still haven't recognized all the alphabets yet. At night, it is Aariz turn to do his revision in Maths and though he whined a little bit but he did finish 4 pages doing subtraction exercise. Of course it is not as smooth as it sounds. One would prob have some tears here and there and the other will be grumbling at me. Well they know that I don't care no matter what is their excuses are or even menangis air mata darah pun I'll get them to finish what I want them to finish up. They will just have to go through the whole revision time with me. That is why I am super garang mom.
Despite of that, after the torturing session of revision with me, everything will go back to normal. They will hug and kiss me and play with me. So I took the opportunity to get them to clean up the messes, get the glasses into the kitchen, throw the garbage into the dustbin, re-arrange some stuff and they do it just fine. At this moment of my emo days and feeling grumpy all the time they will try to entertain me and again will hug and kiss me and just ignore my super kelat face. I am lucky or what? Hehe.

They are so much things that I would like to update about my 2 kids Aariz and Fawwaz…but since they are too many events and sweet things that they did, it is just too hard for me to write every single thing here. I mean they are not even one minute of what they did, didn’t tickle me inside my heart. Even if it’s something that make your heart boil…but still at the end of the day, I will feel that it’s funny. Like when we had our lunch yesterday and at this particular shop where they keep gun in the frame for display. They already start their friendly chat with the cashier on why the need of having the gun there. The cashier simply answers that is to shoot bad guy if they came over. And this is what Aariz said. “Before we shoot him we should say bismillah” Then Fawwaz replied “ No need lah…we just shoot him lahhhhh!”…ok lah whatever you two…but stop harassing the cashier ok.

Having kids is something that keeps my sanity and the course of me to live in this world. With them I become a better me, motivated to work, to achieve my dream and to get a better life. I am more than excited to wait for my third one. To see his antique and how will he copes with his two cheeky brother. I hope everything will be just fine. Insya Allah.

When I get patriotic

2011-01-07T13:58:00.003+08:00

I just had a chat with my mom about her friend’s daughter who just got her MBA, then got married and decided to follow her husband further study doing MBA as well overseas. They both not working (maybe her husband is doing part time) and she’s been trying to find a job and but didn’t manage to land to any real job till today.
I’ve been hearing the same story over and over again about how some people try to chase their dream overseas hoping to get a better life but again some just doesn’t make it. Here what I think.

You see if we are targeting a professional career in foreign land we must be really good at it to be hired. I mean if you are fresh with no work experience. I do see some friends who make it by working in overseas right after they complete their studies. But it happens that this people are really good in what they are doing. You need to impress your employer if you want to get hired. Especially when you are not local. Face it, even in our own country skin colour will play some role to determine whether or not you will get hire. Its human nature and it happens everywhere. The only thing that makes one different from another is really your strength. Something unique that is not common. To make you eligible for the job you apply. Like if you are a doctor which is really on demand right now.

If you are professional with experience, things might be easier. Since you already have a proven track record on your deliverable, or again if you have a unique skill, it’s easier to get a PR or to get sponsor from the company to bring you overseas. Not to mention that the package might be good enough to make money and save it for your retirement.

If you are skilled labor then they are good and bad news. Depending on the country you are going to, you need to know if your skill is required. Chances are if that country require your skill, then it’s greater chance for you to get a work there. But don’t jump too soon, because true that you may have a better quality life and if you have children, you have better education for them. But do not expect that you become somewhat rich or millionaire or something. I used to travel last time and when I had a chat with people who has skill labor, they have the same old issue that we have here back in our own country.

Yeah I know that many really think that life would be great if we stay overseas. I do think the same. With how much I earn now or how much my husband earn now, we might have a better lifestyle there. Provide better environment for the kids and have better quality food, car, house etc. We’ve been there once so we know how much we enjoy our life there. But for us a different case, though the opportunities is always there as we do have a niche skill (that I refuse to continue) we still think that we missed Malaysia. Our family is here and that is one of the most important things for us in life. And with that also, we think that we can provide a better environment for the kids.

Now back for those who want to chase their American dream or Australian dream or UK dream or whatever lah kan. My advice, try to get a job first here in Malaysia. Try to get as many experiences as you can. As much as you want to bitch about our system here, the people, transportation and 1001 other issue here, try to face it first. My question would always be how you are going to survive in foreign land when you can’t survive in your own land. So once you can handle the situation here, where ever you go you can be 100 times better. People would definitely hire you.

What trigger me to write this post? Looking at many young people and not so young people who think Malaysia is such a bad place. Thinking that people in Malaysia is so bad….Which this part make me and hubby almost fell down laughing. Well human being in general are the same. Those who have not work with foreigner, or not have work with people from other races please do not make the statement like how good they are until you met them or work with them!. One thing we (hubby and I) learn humans are all the same. What makes one people different from another is their upbringing and the values they carry. Other than that! Nay….nothing differentiates us from one to another.

Not that I deny a lot of things need to be changed here in Malaysia for all of us to have a better living. But at least try to see from a different angle and comment things in a right context. Thing goes wrong doesn’t means that everybody is wrong. Rather than complaining, you might want to do a difference. Help to make our country be a better place. If you can’t and still stuck with the same old bureaucracy, you are welcome to migrate or do whatever you want. At least you have tried. But please have some faith to your country. Because whoever betray you is the people, some people. Not the country.

Pregnancy and Year 2011

2011-01-07T08:53:00.003+08:00

I should try to relax and clear my mind. So that I can gets a natural birth in this coming few days. Or else… hurm!

It’s true that every pregnancy is different. Like this time of mine. I feel that the pregnancy is too long. Though doctor calculates I just passed my 38 weeks. But it’s felt like forever. Could be because I am having the false contraction since I was 36 weeks and reaching 38 weeks I had it almost every day. Some days I swear it can be very intense that I thought I would not make it to the hospital. Sleeping at night can be a battle for me. I probably will close my eyes earliest at 2pm or latest at 4pm. My nausea, vomiting and constant visit to the loo is another thing. It’s like I start the first trimester all over again.

Anyway no I am not complaining for carrying my baby. I just want to jot this down so that I remember not to feel guilty when I pinch my kids and annoy them later haha :p. My 2 boys, they are pretty sympathy and empathy with my current states. I keep on telling them this is how I what through to get both of them. I have to go through it all over again. Hence, why it is very important for them to listen to me and make me happy as a mother. Both of them will nod and be nice to me….which is cool! For 5 minutes! After that they will be running around the room and jumping on the bed and start shooting with their Nerf gun and using me as their shield! Sigh!

Let’s move on to the year 2011 resolutions. Do I have one? We have to start thinking about PJ house. Then to think about should we upgrade our car. I have a job that I would like to keep and enjoying my career at the moment. I have my 2 kids and going to 3 soon that keep me happy and full of life. My first one just started primary 1. My second boy just moved to another kindy near my parent’s house. The third one, the new born surely need more attention and I am still thinking will I be able to fully breastfeed him this time. Different stage, different milestone for each of my boys and I am sure I am going to be busy this year. I will take life for 2011 slow and steady, enjoying every moment of it but not to forget achieving what’s important in life. Strengthen our family values and financial! That’s it!

OK now I have to do some research on breastfeeding. Yeah I didn’t manage to fully breastfeed my 2 boys earlier. Only till they are 6 mons then they are all on formula. This time I would like to try. But then before I asked my sis in law to get me Medela Freestyler, I have to do research on how to keep the milk (yeah I don’t have much knowledge on this) and most important if my office has a place to keep the milk! Later peeps!

Suprise!

2010-12-23T10:46:00.002+08:00

Not yet! I am still here in the office ;). Not even dare to take any leave as they are so many pending work that need to be completed. Though I walk and work like a snail, my passion doesn't stop me from going to the office. Hehe tipu sebenarnya, if my husband is not in the same building I might be working from home je sekarang ni. Definitely I am not fit to drive already. Tummy resting on my lap, mengah2, nak terkucil la ngan false contractions lagi haih!.

This is the stage where you really want it to be over as soon as possible. Tapi of course baby is safer to be inside until the time come. I can start to write a long whining post about my condition now but I shall stop on that :p. So let's concentrate on what is interesting.

As usual they are so many things I like to plan in my life la kan. Keep on planning, some plan fly through, some plan kena abandon ship. Like really I want to have a nice travel plan for this year but since I had my miscarriage late last year and my work went up and down and suddenly get pregnant again, no long haul travel plan get materialized. Poor my kids keep on complaining about why we are stuck here not going anywhere. Huh but not going anywhere pun at least we bring them to local tourist places byk jugak. Poodah la budak2 ni!.

The latest craze that my hubby and me have in our mind is to tear up the house he bought in PJ and rebuild again. Actually the house is where his mom's stayed currently and due to some family financial issue he bought over the house. It's quite old already, leaking here and there. Since I kinda like my current job and hubby potential work is all over KL and PJ area as well, maybe moving to PJ is not a bad idea after all. Contradicting with what I have thought for the past few years. But traveling from KL to Klang is really killing me and I would really appreciate if the house is near to the office I can at least inspect my kids during lunch hour, or get back earlier if I had the chance. Well it's all about how to bring our kids closer to us actually.

I know the fact that my parents will miss the kids so much, but it will not stop them from 'kidnapping' the kids during weekend or school holiday. I even thinking about calling ustaz every Friday night for some Quran lessons where my parents and in laws can come over and we had a family boding during this time. Then of course they can sleep over or bring the kids back to Sijangkang.

So the plan...(berangan mode) is year 2011 to get the architect to draw our house plan then get all the necessary approval to tear up the house. Then by end of the year of 2011 is to start demolishing the house then building early year 2012. We have started to look for a potential architect and house design. I actually draw the house plan already with my imagination. Of course having a little cat fight with hubby here and there since both of us have poor creative imagination when come to building/designing a house and to make sure that we are align on this.

So this is one sample of the house that is 50% like what we have imagined....
http://www.razinarchitect.com/project_mahmud_01.html

The most important part is the kitchen. Well it always the kitchen that I dream off first.However until now I can't find a sample that is similar to what I have visualize. Have to keep on searching or maybe just get the architect to advice me on that.

I feel better of spilling what is my recent berangan mode. Owh some of you might wonder what happen to my previous berangan mode of having that super mini cooper car right ? Dah terkubur la after weighing the pros and cons. Bak kata my colleague...tu semua nafsu sahaja.

Anyway they are more berangan idea in my list. Is just this one is taking half of the space in my mind besides works. That way it takes my mind away from whining and complaining about my current condition and thinking bile lah baby ni nak pop out :D

It's almost there

2010-12-07T21:42:00.003+08:00

I really think it will come sooner than the EDD date. My EDD date suppose to be on the 19th if January which is 6 weeks away from now. I know that during my previous 2 pregnancy I deliver earlier by 2-3 weeks so I have anticipated that it might be end of December or early Jan. However all the sign of having early labor has started and it's kinda freak me out haha. I don't know why I'm freaking out this time. Workload maybe...I still feel that they are a lot more to settle. I have training next week followed by mock up session where I have sent out the invitation list.

Then baby preparation...to be honest I just have 4 pairs of baby clothing with me now. Few other items are ready but they are more to buy!!!. My hospital bag is not even ready yet! I haven't buy my maternity socks...I am very particular with socks so I need to get a good one else I won't wear any. My room at my mom's house still in a mess though thank God that I have slowly started to clean it up for the past few days. Gosh seriously...what am I thinking!!!

This is why I think that the time is near. Which I hope I still have 2-3 weeks to go. First I get really clumsy and tired now. I mean more clumsier...I start to lose my focus, patient over things. What I need is just to rest ...and sleep and rest and sleep. Last weekend we stayed in Traders Hotel for a wedding reception. Since I know I'll be heavy by this time I don't want to commute from my house to KL. We stayed there but end up I sleep most of day time and watch TV at night. I just attended the dinner and skip the rest. Feel soooo relaxed doing that which snap me that alamak...this is exactly the signal that I have when I about to give birth for my first 2 boys.

Then I felt that baby has hit my pelvic. You know when you sit and you feel something hard pressing your pelvic. That is a sign of the baby "drops". Followed by frequent visits to the loo and again not be able to sleep at night. Perfect combo right! I asked my regular makcik urut to come over as I feel so uncomfortable. She gave me a good full body massage and while doing her thing on my tummy I ask her how far more...very close she replied haha.

Nesting instinct start to kick in as well. I mention earlier how my room is still in a mess. Yes before this I don't really care if it's in a mess or not. Now I start to be really concern with how the room looks like. The arrangement and everything. Feeling like throwing all the unnecessary things in my room right now. Feels like dolling up the baby cot. Hurm!

My parents were about to confirm their trip to Egypt today. I quickly told them that no way they are going now! Please do not risk going and if I really have early labor, I might faint by myself here. So much dependent on my parents right. Yeah I have too. Who's going to cook for me? Unless I am allowed to eat Mc Donald, KFC or Pizza Hut during my confinement period!.

Anyway, when the time comes it will. I just have to slowly finish whatever outstanding in the office. If not, the whole team need to come over and visit me for the handover haha, instead of visiting the baby ;). Pray for me yeah for a smooth delivery. The boys outside can't wait to see the boy inside...and so do I !

Anything cheap

2010-11-28T23:19:00.002+08:00

My dear sis in law introduce me to Pandora jewelry. The range is slightly cheaper than Tiffany and of course I get hook to it instantly. While browsing for the jewelry range, I mumble something like this...hurm the gold range is expensive. I'll wait for hubby to become partner for this range. As of now...silver range is fine with me.

Very interesting that hubby who hardly listen or can hear my soft voice can answer yes ma immediately....and I look at him with this thought in mind. Anything cheap he will says ok and automatically heard it! Huh!

Learn and adopt

2010-11-26T15:01:00.003+08:00

I learn a lot new things in my current role and could not help to share it with hubby for our own development. For some reasons hubby will absorb it better than me and gosh I hate it when he used it against me. How you might ask?

OK we admit we are both crazy couple...same age, having similar career when we begin our life together, we have this husband and wife bonding, friends bonding (since we start our relationship as a friend) and also colleague bonding (yes we work together for quite a while). Sometime people are confuse the way we communicate can be formal, over friendly like buddy buddy or dead romantic.

Lately we play more on professional bonding role and parenting role. Depending on how we feel that day after work we usually will talk about masalah negara, sosial dan sebagainya and followed by how it impact our children and our life. There is one day we play a mentor menti role where I start giving him lecture on where is his career should be heading and what he should do and what is he lacking and yada yada....then we start buying/borrowing some leadership, motivational book. I start introducing him to some website that I learn from my current role that I think would benefit his growth. Next thing I know he start becoming my mentor by correcting my conversation and my defensive mode and my way of holding him hostage and yada yada and oh boy!!! that is how he turn it back all around me.

At night when we reach home, we then turn ourselves back as husband and wife or maybe more to loving parents as we will spend our time with the boys. We will start with how was your day today? Some days they will just become boys and says, I don't remember and some other days they will tell us non stop of what they did the whole day. We try to make it a habit for them to update us what they do as it is important that it will be part of their nature to update us until they are big later. This followed by dinner with 4 of us on the table sometimes join by my parents. Fawwaz now can feed himself well with his hand....(owh bebudak ni mengada btw dulu tak pandai makan pakai tangan) and we make sure that it's a tradition that all of us need to have at least one meals together in one day. We then clean up our own plates, which is good thing that without bibik now the kids are more responsible with their own mess and make some effort to help each other on the house chores. Then we drive back home, snuggling on my bed either reading story book or watching youtube. Yeah the latest craze for now is watching science experiment from the youtube.

I love this part of my life as well despite the hectic life that we are having now. One thing that I realize how do we value each other in our family and make our life more rewarding is that when our routine change, we adapt to it. How difficult life going to be, it will not take away our happiness from us. We have time that we can travel as much as we want....they are time that we have those extra to splurge on what we want, time that we feel like we are on top of the world, time that we feel work sucks and draining our energy. Time that we are free to do what we want and time that we are constraint by all other responsibilities around us. Any situation that we face we stick together as a family and try to make it work. Look for option and solutions to make our life meaningful and I guess that is the key of our happiness.

I'll have to ask hubby later if he agree with this ;)

Love

2010-11-20T23:49:00.002+08:00

I just realize that it has been a while that I did not use my problem solving skills, communication, thinking and etc. Since I came back a while ago my work is mainly development work and not much interaction with people. The things that I need to resolve for my development work also is very specific to the system. Very2 technical and straight forward. 2 years in that organization that I really feel burnt out and hence the change in my career. So far I did not regret.

9 more weeks to go before the new addition in my family will pop!. For some reasons I feel so close with my kids now. So in love with hubby. Sometime when I close my eyes I remembered how we met and how that we suddenly get close to each other and decided to get married. It was quick and spontaneous. Poor hubby as now he is so tired as he has to do most of the house chores. For me, anytime that I get a chance at home I will try to rest and sleep.

Aariz is a sweet boy as usual. So helpful and concern about me. Though sometimes he does complaint, but I will give him reasons that he finally just nodded and help me anyway. I know I am a bit harsh to him at time. Example the other day when he spilled a full cup of slurpee in my car. I could not help yelling and punish him for that. I know it is not his intention. We are suppose to meet up with his favorite cousins and it has been a long day for me. So my punishment is for all of us not to go for dinner with them. He was so upset and quiet in the car. Almost crying too until I take a deep breath and ask hubby to take him out for a walk and tell him what mistake he has done. By the way it is not entirely his fault. Hubby was suppose to buy us some drink at 7E and Aariz took the slurpee cup by himself. Hubby allow him to have the slurpee in the car and that is where the accident occur. I am pretty careful on what the kids should get from the shop and what they can have in the car. So by getting them both out from the car for a walk and reflect what went wrong give me time to cool down and also give them time to think about what went wrong. Anyway we all went for the dinner after everybody come back to their sense.

As for Fawwaz, he have this major love hate relationship with me. That everything I do will irk him. And everything he do will irk me too. We ended up enjoying annoying each other and make each other mad at the end of the day. Of course this get into Aariz and hubby attention as well. Keep on asking what's wrong with both of us as we are so loud especially when Fawwaz start to throw tantrum!. Or even me haha! But then just before we get to sleep or when he wakes up in the morning, we will just snuggle with each other.

But both of them has change to become more responsible and independent. It's like a preparation to welcome the new family member. As for me, I will enjoy every moment of their growth and milestone.

I'm in a love mode! Feel loved by my family and have so much love to pour back to them. So excuse me for this post....which has all the lovey mode element :)

Huge and Round

2010-11-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

I am huge and round that is what I think. Hubby said I looks ok…but hubby being hubby la kan. If I asked hubby what he think about me now being round and not proportionate, then he will replied, you are pregnant dear. Then I continue, if I stay this way and not to come back to my initial shape…then he will reply it’s ok dear…hurm sounds convincing but I wonder 

Anyway I am entering my 31st week which means they are 9 weeks more to go. In that 9 weeks time I have to complete my timeline and also the handover. I have a mock up session to handle by December and a few more other stuff to look at. Time is running out.

Then back at home I still have maid issue. The local maid that I manage to hire apparently has some attitude issue that I could not tolerate. I guess she is too young as I have the same attitude issue with the foreign maid back 6 years ago due to the age. Now I am waiting for the replacement.

Then my first child is entering primary school and we have settled at least his school uniform. Outstanding is the school shoes, then stationeries, books, etc. By the way we enroll him to the swimming class since mid this year. And as of now he can swim properly as what the instructor commented. I am so proud of him even though I have not seen him swimming for a while. Usually I send him and accompany him but due to my heavy tummy I let hubby do the job. He is now in advance class and I am planning to send little Fawwaz next year to join his brother. But of course in the beginner class 

Then finally is about the little baby that is own his way to see the world. The whole family is excited now. You see at night when I was lying down (well I barely can do anything at home now) and the kids all sits next to me, some time they will as questions. Like the other day they were trying to suggest some name for the baby. It started with some funny names that I told them that if they keep on giving funny name, I will give the funny them to them and have their name for the baby. Then only they decide to be serious: p. We have fun naming the baby inside while each of them taking turn touching my tummy and argue why do we like or dislike the name. Finally that night we agree on one name which I shall not reveal yet. So the kids has started calling the baby with they name that we agree. I am not sure if I will still decide to use that name when the baby is born later. We shall see.

Some other night we just talk about the arrangement about the new baby arrival. Like where he should sleeps and how should we taking turn of changing his diaper and feeding him. It was fun as they are all excited and would want to cooperate with me on the arrival of the new family members.

So you know…despite the work is piling, the maid issue and time is running out for all deliverables by January. The life with the family just balance out everything. And again for that, I thank God.

The roller coaster life of mine

2010-11-04T11:50:00.002+08:00

Last year I really thought that this year will be the year of restructuring our finances and life. By next year our life should be stabiles. Kita hanya merancang tapi Tuhan yg menentukan right!
It happens life is not as simple as that! The more we plan the more things we realize and the more challenge that we have to face. One point we felt that we already on top of everything, but when we explore more then we realize how small we are. To get to the next point is to transform ourselves and we have to do it quick. Clock is ticking.
Well no point to dwell on that in details pun kan, as the vision is still blur on the direction for the next few years. But plan A, B and C is already there. To execute which one tu yg kita hanya merancang but final says is always from God.
On the pregnancy, I went for a check up yesterday since I am not well too. I refuse to say I am not well actually, I mean pregnant lady it is normal to be a little bit dizzy and of course all other symptom that some of the unlucky one will have that can impact your productivity for the day. So yesterday check went well. Baby is growing as per expected. Mom gain weight of 10kgs from her initial weight….I has an infection that should be cleared by taking an antibiotic. Since I have a history of high sugar during last pregnancy, doctor suggested that I monitor my blood sugar every week from now. Other than that, we are good!.
I note that during each of my pregnancy, I am always in a peak of my career. The busyness I mean. I do not get pregnant when I am lady in leisure, or when I can work from home, or when I can have my own sweet time doing stuff. Aariz I get pregnant when I join a consulting firm and expected to take a role which is not my bread and butter. I have to work late; I have to digest new information, be pro-active and is not a pregnancy that I can take a 5 mins naps in between even though I am drop dead tired. When I am having Fawwaz, we were in Miri project assignment. The work is manageable but we are traveling pro and fro from Miri to KL almost every week. Frequent flyer during pregnancy it’s so tiring especially when the flight is delayed every other week. Then this pregnancy, even I manage to get a month break, then I start with a new job when I am about to enter the third trimester. Though I like the job, I have to admit it’s also tiring when I have to pick up new skills due to change of career, a lot of talking and and also the work require lot’s of traveling although just in KL area. Mengah makcik tau!
But besides all that I do really enjoy the challenge as somewhat I believe it impact our kids big time haha. When I look at them now, how persistent they are, they are determination and communication skills. Selalu terasa ni mesti pembawakkan budak masa I pregnant. This time round I am lucky to have the opportunity to listen to the speech and meet up with some of the prominent figures in the corporate world. Wondering how my third one will turn out to be.

This morning I had an intelligent chat with hubby discussing about people, the firm, the corporate world, strategic item and etc. Then I realize that Aariz is listening attentively in the car dengan mulut ternganga. Trying to digest ke apa I tak sure. But when we drop them at my parent’s house, Aariz suddenly give me a big kiss. Then I walk out from the car and give him a big hug. He then said, Ma you and papa work hard ok so that we can build our big house. Then he happily walks into the house. I wonder if he is fascinate/appreciate by our discussion in the car or what. But that give me a boost to work and at the same time thinking how great it is if I can stay at home back with them :)

The Local Maid

2010-11-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

We hold first the review of the hotel that we went. It’s lovely btw….and of course mak buyong enjoy the food fiesta from day till the very last day. Sampai rumah that night…makan indo mie sebab malas nak keluar dah and penat. Ending pada makan2 yg sgt tak best kan? Hurm L

Anyway I just want to share with you about the local maid that I have been raving around here a while ago. I’ve got mine yesterday. Too early to tell but hey…I’ve been waiting for a long time that I feel like sharing my feeling right now.

I am still not sure about how am I going to handle the local maid. Mine is young…around 22 years old, but has experience teaching in taska for 4 years and don’t mind doing housework. Well my criteria always someone who can do housework and also taking care of my child once a while since my parents is at home. No joke, she needs to do quite a bit of housework. What complicate more is that since during day she’s at my parents home, she need to do major housework there and when we bring her back home at our house, she need to do some minor housework like managing our clothing and little bit of cleaning. To be precise taking care of 2 houses is my major concern cause I know is kind a bit tiring to do that. Hence I don’t mind of paying a little bit premium.

We of course are trying hard to justify our choice of having a local maid. As you know the monthly is not cheap compared to foreign maid. But then I keep on reminding myself about the pro and cons. How foreign maid is if we go via agent can cost you from 5k to 7k. Not to mention about most of them has a hidden agenda when coming down here. And what if they run away? What happen to my deposit of 7k?

They are time where my parents might be away for a trip or balik kampong and the thought of having a foreign maid to watch over my 2 kids and maybe my baby later give me a second thought as well. Always the question mark is their cleanliness and though we can teach them but sometime it took us forever to get them to understand our level of cleanliness. The IQ level is also questionable sometime, if purely taking care of housework we can discount on that. But when communicating with the kids and the values that they show is another thing to consider.

It is too early to tell. I have to experience this first and let you guys know about the pro and the cons of having local maid later. However this already takes some of the burden from me. Now I can concentrate on baby preparation, aariz school preparation, hubby can go for his job hunting ( hi dear ;) ), and hopefully things will be smooth for us. Insya Allah.

Note: for those who interested to explore more on this you can go to http://sites.google.com/site/pembantuanda2/

Road trip to Penang...again :)

2010-10-28T13:12:00.001+08:00

We are heading to Penang….again! Why we love this place so much? I don’t know. Maybe the food and the hotel…it’s just a good combo. Our idea lately for vacation is not to look around places. Especially with my current state now!… The only thing I want to do is to laze around and have a good food. At the same time giving the pleasure for the kids to roam around freely and happily (of course with supervision ;))

Anyway we stayed in Park Royal several time and I find that the hotel is a bit old but clean. The pool is huge but small area for kid’s pool. However something worth to shout out loud is the breakfast!!!! The spread is wonderful with a lot of varieties. We love the most is the char kuew tiow! The best in town..I mean for hotel standard not hawker standard yah.

When Hard Rock is up and running we just have this itchiness in ourselves just to drove down there and experience it. The hotel is new and clean, the room we’ve got is hurm…new and clean :p but nothing much to shout on that. It is spacious where I can just put a comforter and let my kids’ sleeps on it. The breakfast is so so…errr actually I don’t like it at all. But really something to shout about is the kid’s pool where it is so huge and has a few sections that suits my kids well. They end up staying in the pool for the whole day and just out for lunch and that’s it. Other than that we just love the live band…. Too bad we can’t enjoy much as the kids are too sleepy by then. But they were good too.

This trip we decided to try out another hotel along there as well. Will not reveal the hotel name yet but definitely I am going to give a review on the hotel perhaps with picture. You know we do take picture but most of it resides inside our hard drive and that’s about it. Too lazy to transfer it in the blog or even facebook.

I am of course pretty excited with this trip. Is just that last night when I do my routine ‘check-in’ to the toilet then I was asking myself. What am I getting myself into? The 4 hours journey …what happen if I really need to pee or hungry haha :p. Well I guess I just have to sort that out during the journey.

Move

2010-10-24T14:03:00.002+08:00

Everything in a mess!

How do we move in a team if no one else want to move? If only you that is willing to move?

How much do I need to sacrifise?

Do I need to abandon my dream now ?

26 weeks and counting

2010-10-14T18:16:00.003+08:00

I am 26 weeks now. Tummy is growing and sometimes I just forgot that I'm pregnant. Yeah been running here and there, attending this and that. Drafting and planning, discussing and laughing and yeah we have to do acting and dancing too. No kidding hehe. The interesting part is that I am not stress yet. Not yet as of today but of course I am tired. Hence I forget about me being pregnant and suddenly lately my tummy start to harden, hard enough for me to notice and to be worried. Is it not too soon ?

As a precaution I take a step back and start seeing doctor. Thank God after a few test, everything shows that my pregnancy is normal and she subscribe me some medicine to reduce the frequency of hardening. Sweet enough that my concern doctor will always want to subcribe me sick leave but I am so used for not taking any. She gave me 2 days anyway but stubborn me what did I do? I still go to the office thinking about certain stuff that is still pending. Resulted that I get a massive cramping in the evening that I have to get my poor husband rushed out from an important meeting to send me home (not really rushed out as I give him 20 mins to settle things down).

In the car I get a very sharp look from my husband and of course a long lecture :p. While I try to be chatty and tahan sakit as the cramping come and go and keep on asking if he love me. What if I die, I will not let him be in peace if he marry another women. As I have invested time waiting for him to climb his career. I will come back and haunt him and so and so :p. Of course to annoy him enough until the conversation goes to the new handbag that I still didn't get up till to date hehe.

That is btw my update for my pregnancy so far. Today I feel much better resting at home while doing some housekeeping on pending item. At least I am not moving around that much so I did get my rest. Except that the second one decided not to go to his kindy when he saw me at home. Start to of course kacau me whenever he has the chance. I kinda miss staying at home :p

On the other note I get freak out to think about the year end is nearing. So many things to do. I have not start to buy anything yet for the newborn. No idea what to get either. Then by the time I have to start buying stuff for the newborn, then we have to start preparing Aariz for his primary school. Yeah I know I've been babbling about this on and on and on. But seriously help! I dont know when to start and if it's too early to start ! haha. I read some blog they are people start buying some cloth, bottles and even diapers. Here I am still not ready to buy anything yet. Help me please!

About maid

2010-10-10T17:41:00.003+08:00

I am now actively searching for a local maid. But since it is not easy as we need to really reach out to people from kampung2 and such, I still open my option tiny option to the foreign maid. Which I learn a lot and I get really mad now. To get a foreign maid if u directly call the agent from Indonesia, they will ask you around RM4000 to RM5000 fees. And that my dear friend is not with a proper work permit or even a medical check up. I do not know how this people can have a cheek to ask for RM4000 without first the maid don't have a proper document, second they are not trained and third, their medical condition is not being checked. Imagine the disease and all other social issue that we potentially bring in to Malaysia ?

Next when I reach out from the local agent, the fees can goes up to RM6000 or even more. The more interesting part is, some of them is already in Malaysia with out a passport!. OK tell me now how on earth this people can get into Malaysia without any passport ???? The reasons I know about this is because I've got a phone call from one of the agent asking me RM1800 for the introduction fees, one month warranty and if I'm happy with her than they will proceed with passport application which require more cost. And I was like what??? How the hell are you getting this people in here without any passport. I'm so gonna make a report on this. One thing that I'm not sure if my report will be taken seriously or not. Passport is one thing than another things is their work permit and health screening. Seriously I am not sure what are we getting ourselves into.

I know I am desperate for help. But I am not desperate to sacrifise my country. Bringing in people without proper health check and not even with identification is causing a lot to our economy and social. Not to mention the price that we have to pay for this middle man. And I tell you they are arrogance because they know people are desperate. Why we let ourselves to be desperate and get ourselves into this? I am trying to be strong by not falling into any illegal transaction and also by not paying more than I think what the agent deserve to get. Though I know it's battle that is hard for me to win, but I am very sure that if all of us can resist of selling our country for a small price. This things won't happen.

Sad case that some of them who are hired ran away after the employee has put so much money and sacrifising their country. I know some of the employer even can sense that the maid is going to run away, or already have a problem and just let them be. Reasons why, argh I don't want to think about it and at least it save the cost and trouble of me sending the maid home. Please people, if you know your maid is already a trouble to your family, what can they do to the society? Imagine that because of these people overflowing our country, one day your kids might fall in love and start to get married with immigrants with lot's of social problem? Or your parents died because this people go inside your house and rob and kill your family too? Look around and be responsible to your maid. If you can't please don't start to have one. Do not terminate and not sending them back home. It is your responsibility.

I know as working parents living in this country is a bit hard. We need helper because we work more than 8 hours. Our office is far from our home and we just need to have the extra hand to look after our kids. The nursery is not efficient, the process to get maid is not siding us and 1001 more issues that we have to face. But again it is not worth to sacrifise the country. We just need to look harder for other solutions. As for me the solutions is to look for local helper. Still looking and I'll let you know if I found one.

Our Sunday

2010-10-03T19:30:00.003+08:00

I think a while ago I lost my appetite on food and shopping. Both during my early pregnancy. Well lately it come back. And it's getting worst!

I had all this things that I like to look at, to try on and to buy! One good thing is that I am not an impulse buyer. So the damage is not that bad. But having a constant things to buy in mind from one to another is like another disease that has to go !!! As eventually you will accidently buy one or two. Like today, I bought a nice sandals for me. This one is essential because I need a nice sandal for my pregnancy ...right ? Or hurm should I maybe enjoy it while it last? Urgh damn you bad thought haha!

Anyway today we went out for late lunch. I had Bubba Gump for the first time. It was good and I enjoy the food. Right after our lunch we went out to survey the car. This is to look on our option for a compact car and being gatal we went to the showroom fronting to the Ikea/The Curve. We test drive a few car.....Nice feelings, on a cloud nine for a while, the boys (hubby and kids) are the one who enjoy the most! Imagine that the showroom is just next to the luxury car showroom. And guess what!! the kids running all the way into the showroom and start inspecting one after another. Aariz always has grown fond to the Audi brand thanks to Iron Man. And Fawwaz just love anything that looks fast and sporty.

As we tried hard to drag them out from the other showroom Aariz asked this question. How much we need to buy the Audi TT? And Fawwaz replied tiga ringgit jek bang. To the annoyed of Aariz and seeking for more a realistic answer from his dad.

Well after the test drive and getting the brochure we come back to our senses. Cars always a nice things to have. Of course when you have extra you want to upgrade and keep on and on and on upgrading. The thing is, it will never be enough. Good thing is after we test drive we know that all this can wait for now. The most important thing is first to have the baby, check out the plan for next year, we don't know yet which project hubby will be going for next year. Then the search for a MPV is one in our priority list besides a few others.

See I can go up to the sky berangan at one day, and back on my foot the next day. But berangan is a good thing at least for me. It will keep us to have a purpose to live. And just because the time is not right, it doesn't mean that we can forget about it. One day Insya Allah, it will be ours ;)

Entry menci sat!

2010-09-29T14:02:00.004+08:00

Eiii menci kan memikirkan yg akhir tahun dah dekat. Tapi travel plan for this year mmg hampeh sesangat.

Seriously end of last year I mention that this is our recovery year. Memang betul betul recovery year lah. Everything very moderate nothing much to shout. We just live with our day to day routine (ah finally we have a routine) and enjoying our home.

Tapiii with no extravaganza travel plan it is sooooo not fun! haha! Eiii menci menci! Of course when we are entering the last quarter of 2010, means it's entering my final trimester for my pregnancy. Meansssss if I were to plan for any travel pun yg dekat2 boleh la. To risk my pregnancy is not an option. Sebab if anything happen when we are travelling far, is not just me and hubby. Sape pulak nak handle the kids kan. Karang jadi drama sebabak .....akak jugak yg susah.

OK ni sebenarnya whining post cos I try to plan for a trip in Asia but then my schedule and hubby schedule does not jive well. It has been that way since early this year. So I guess we have to put everything on hold first. Just plan somewhere near like maybe staying in a hotel in KL haha. Or PD or Melaka or Cyberjaya :p. Will see how it goes. As if I can enjoy much pun kalau travel jauh2 kan.

Tapiiiiii still nak whine jugak....menciiiiiiii sebab tak dapat pegi jalan jauh jauh!

Dear hubby, since I tak dapat pegi jalan jauh2...nape la susah sgt u nak approve I beli handbag baru ni!!!!!

My weak point!

2010-09-28T12:57:00.000+08:00

I have all this plan of having my own sweets time with hubby. But most of the time I will just drop the programme as I can’t bear thinking or leaving the kids out of my sight except for work. Seriously I have that dilemma. Which I think is bad for me.

I am pretty particular with time spend in the office. If I don’t see a need of my presence in the office or to stay late, I will quickly pack my stuff and go off. Except that lately when I see the activities offered by my new office is kinda exciting that I don’t mind to be in the office at all haha. But my point is not during the working time, is just that if someone ask me to go somewhere after office, or to have dinner which is non office related (yes you my friend zie hehe) I will think like twice or more whether or not to spend my time doing that.

It’s a disease yes I know. Whenever that I think of having a getaway with hubby or join him for a late mamak with friends or anything that is suppose to be fun for us…I will keep on thinking about should I ? I am so obsessed to be at home with the kids even though they are now very independent and most of the time during my arrival at home they will come and scream yaiy!!! Mama dah balik…I love mama and hug me and kiss me and then puff they go elsewhere to continue what ever they’ve been doing. Most of the time they will just have fun between both of them annoying each other, and occasionally check on me and bug me once in a while. The crucial moments that they need us (me or hubby) usually, when they bath, breakfast, dinner, doing homework and 15-30 mins quality time before sleeps. I get the quality time before sleeps as I love them hugging me and kissing me and talking to me before sleeping time. The quality time when they woke up belongs to hubby.

Though I know that once in a while it’s ok to leave them at home with their grandparents but I still have to rush home to see them. How do I get rid of this feeling? Sometime when I see people who has kids and don’t mind to stay late in the office I kinda envy them. How do they get that strength to stay focus while my mind is already at home wondering what are they doing?

I think I really have to work on this. The other thing is that I am also too clingy with hubby. Hubby knows best on this. First step that I am trying to do is to take a break with hubby (will work on my too clingy with hubby later haha) by watching the Tun M musical after office one of these days and then stay in one of the hotel in KL so that we can head straight to the office the next day. See if I can get that into realization or if my heart is weak you can see me back at home and snuggle the kids who already fall asleep.

The next maybe takes a baby step to spend time for myself with my friends. We will see how it goes.

Berangan mode with my parents blessing!

2010-09-25T12:45:00.003+08:00

Last post I mention about my never ending berangan to buy a mini cooper. I actually told my parents about it and guess what happen. They totally oppose my idea by giving a lot of not a very nice remark and 1001 of advice. Thank you very much. Grrr I just berangan ok.

I am not a very good child that is what I think but seriously when it comes to stuff of what I am going to do next in my life I always throw it to my parents to see their reaction. For some reasons when their reaction is a negative reaction I will re-evaluate my thinking and most of the time scrap it and do something else. I am not sure if that really help in my current life where Alhamdulillah everything di permudahkan Tuhan.

We had a discussion the other week a few close friends of hubby. The impromptu meet up that start at 10 pm and finish at 1.30 pm at some restaurant somewhere in Shah Alam. We talk about one thing to another and landed to a conversation about people who has so much difficulties in their life. People who are not in peace. Sometime we see people has almost everything but not in peace. We see people who always grumbling about their life and can't move on. A lot of example we see as we grow and it happens to people who are just around us. People that we know. But as we talk deep about it we can come out with one conclusions. It goes back to our relationship between us and our parents.

As much as we hate it or probably not to trust this, but blessing from parents are very important. Though probably not all of us are bless to have a wonderful parents. But how crappy they are or how screwed up they are...they are still our parents. Sometimes is best to listen rather than to talk back and try to get their sense when they are ready to talk bout it.

Like what has happened to me. I get really mad when my dad (he's from Melaka by the way so the choice of word is always unpleasant) said something like he told me once that buying mini cooper is not a wise thing to do and I'll regret with my decisions later. And a lot more talks to emphasize how bad my decisions is and start to compare with this one person that I know who didn't listen to him and buy the car of his choice and now is suffering not able to pay and thinking of selling back and da da da da. I give my reasoning and when the conversions seems doesn't goes anywhere so I stop and switch the conversation.

Actually it's scare me when my parents star to talk like that as I take it like a doa and I hate it when I have to live and keep on thinking of it. That's how bad it is. Few days after that I guess the sense is coming back and they start to talk to me nicely. This time the conversation is more in well manner as they put their reasonings and I put mine and then start to look at other options like what car between my budget that I should buy if I still want to have that feeling of driving small sporty car at this age. The conversation last for an hour or so and then I get back to hubby and start to think about our options.

Darn now my just berangan things has get one step further. But this time with blessings and of course on top of that we have to look at our capacity. The verdict! It will still be my berangan mode cos I am one crazy woman to change car when I am pregnant and also still on probation with my new job. But this time I can berangan in peace.

Never ending berangan mode

2010-09-21T09:43:00.002+08:00

I will definitely blog less and lesser these days. Penat lah. Is either I'm working or I'm sleeping haha. But other than that everything is all good. Raya been good though I get quite a few negative story. Try to push it away from me now cos too many rather than jadi pengajaran it become something that haunted my mind pulak kan. I get easily irritated with hubby lately. You see that is why I don't like working with him! Now travelling together with him everyday pun dah get into my nerve. Suke make annoying remark and get me irritated ...eiiiii geram!

On the other note my berangan mode is back. Ok do not speculate anything yet ok I just want to berangan and let me berangan peacefully. We are looking for a second hand mpv to accomodate our expanding family. Of course I was thinking about something big and comfy and nice and perhaps a little luxury. But wahhhh the price pun bukan main lagi mahal la kan. Most of them valued at 100k and above and the thing is the feeling inside the mpv is not that great pun. Some looks old and dusty....Of course if you want something that's really nice than the price can go from 180 k and above. Which way beyond my budget. Come to think back since I'm travelling far to KL driving a mpv is not a good option either. Waste of fuel and also not to mention the size of the vehicle is too big. Very likely we will just leave the mpv back at my mom's house and for us to use only during weekend when the whole family is around for outing. So why opt for an expensive mpv? Then we scale down and now looking at Nissan Serena or Exora. Which hubby has develop a great passion to Serena thanks to his frugal chinese colleague !

Anyway this is where my berangan mode start. Since Serena might not cost us a lot as we are thinking to buy a second hand mpv. Why not I get the car of my dream....Well I develop a passion for a nice and chic car since I was young. Blame that on my dad ;). So I told hubby about it. I need a chic car if u buy a bulky mpv. Imagine driving into KL with a small and chic car, the fuel saving, space yada yada.....Then I told him I want a mini cooper! Haha ! Instilling the idea on his head since yesterday and now we are looking for a test drive. I've been in the car once and it's an amazing experience. Well again I like to berangan, and this is my current angan2. Let me berangan with peace ok. So that I can smile and be in the cloud nine until reality strike again :p

Nightmare

2010-09-14T09:39:00.000+08:00

Raya sakan…hurm that’s might explain why is the long silence la kan. But seriously I love my Hari Raya now like all other Hari Raya in my life. The same old story the same old routine plus minus the joy of seeing my kids growing up understanding Ramadhan and the Eid celebration, then having my grandma as part of our raya routine and also some catch up and update from relatives that make us owh and aaaaahhh. Interesting each time!

Anyway there’s a particular stuff that disturb me on this Hari Raya. Hubby told me on the second Hari Raya during our way back from Sabak Bernam to our home. I can’t describe much here cos it might be sensitive towards some. But one point I can give here is not to ride on other people’s dream. Especially my dream with my husband! It gives me a nightmare, like a Freddy Krueger nightmare.

I always blog about the plan that we always talk about with my husband, about our future and how are we going to structure our life. All dreams that we have about our family, the dream house, the education for our children, the financial, the travel plan, the plan of taking care of our parents one day and a lot more. And those are my dreams with him, my husband and our dreams are align. We have to make sure our dreams are align as we have to work together to achieve that. When we plan and we dream we also must make sure that it must be realistic, achievable and not to mention that we do not interfere with other people’s life or dream!

I really wish I can spill in details on what is the thing that disturb me even though hubby assured me that we are in control. Even though if they are sentimental value being brought up on this issue we can always let go that dream and pursue to another. But what disturb me is that everybody has been given a chance once to get that thing or to share the load but everybody back off. And when we pick it up and start to incorporate that as part of our dream we had a lot of this bad talk and unnecessary advice that we don’t. We carry on as we have faith in our plan. We invest a lot of money and we have to tighten our budget for more than a year just to get it done. And once everything is fine, and good they are people thought that they can just propose of something to interfere on what we have worked on! Shame shame. It makes me pissed off and it haunted me though again hubby will keep on reminding me that we are in control. I just hate the fact that the other party might already start dreaming and planning on how to screw my dream and plan. This particular party has always had a dream of doing something and tries to get everybody to involve with their dream. But all this while those are just talks and it is not realistic and it does not directly intended to us so I can just listen with one ears and flush it out later. But this particular dream or maybe I can say plan!!! Is directly impacting us!

I am not happy and I can’t share my unhappiness with others cos it’s kinda sensitive. The only person I can spill this out is to hubby and he has been listening to all my whining and reasoning for the past few days. I told him that he should not tell me at the first place as it will screw my mind. And to fix this….better he get me a new hand bag :p

Pineapple tart, other stuff and Hari Raya

2010-09-08T10:01:00.000+08:00

Do you know how difficult it is to get a nice pineapple tart nowadays? Well at least for me…it’s damn hard. Blame to my grandmother who make a delicious tart during my childhood. Lucky for me as I have grandmother and also a mother that is good in cooking and my grandmother particularly in baking as well. But to learn those skills from them is really hard. If I ask like how to cook this and how to cook that the only thing that I get is a stare and the answer will be just campak campak jekla….agak2 how much you need to put. So not like google where the recipe will give you the exact measures, this pro will not sit down and write down the recipe for you. The only way to learn is to observe them in the kitchen. And I am too lazy to do that.

Put aside my mother as some of her cooking secret is already with me. Ehem I am a natural cook as well ;) but long way to learn all other tedious cooking. Like my mom’s sambal be it to put on fish or chicken with or without belacan….her sambal always good! The rendang and her masak kicap…ok her masak kicap is very unique though and few other cooking lesson that I have to pick from her.

Now about my grandmother…. She’s a keeper, meanings she will not easily share her secret recipe with people including her own blood like us. Her cooking were so good that we are spoilt by it. Her main expertise was sambal udang belimbing, masak lemak any, asam pedas any, …ok the reasons why I don’t eat asam pedas elsewhere except home cook, curry the best and few others. For curry I manage to observe and now sort of know how to cook the curry as up to her standard. But for the rest….I need to stay in the kitchen more to learn.

Lately for some reasons when I do my own cooking, which is western food like chicken pie and few others, she will observe me and come near to look at my work. She’ll start to chat a little bit with me (yeah she didn’t chat much with us pun) asking about what I’m doing and then share some of her experience. Then slowly she offered me to do her famous pineapple tart with me. I am so thrilled that I am ok with that even I don’t have much time to spare already since I start working. So last week we start the project and I get to witness and also write her secret ingredients. The verdict….we’ve ordered a few tart for various source, I think we going to abandon those tart already haha. Not really abandon lah …sound very mean kan! But that will be served to the visitors. While homemade tart, will stay with us. Even my dad was busy eating the tart and we almost emptied one whole jar.

Then I try my luck asking her to teach me some of her other specialties. Which is popiah basah….They said it is the best popiah basah in Melaka or something as my grandma use to sell kuih. And lucky me she said yes…So another project will commence next week during raya week to make some popiah basah to welcome some of the cousins and relative to our home. I just hope and pray that she is in a good mood to be able to teach me rather than change her mind later. You see this particular recipe has been asked by many since years ago and she keep on shush them away. Including my own cousins…So when I was about to ask her, everyone especially my aunty and parents have a big doubt on that. Now as she changes her mind, this are my chance to learn and hopefully the goodness of her cooking will not die with her. So much to learn and so little time I have, but better late then never right?

Well that’s my story for today….my head is really into raya mode already. Since grandma is now staying with us, that means all our relatives will drop by to our house to visit her. It will not be the first few days of raya as my relatives from my dad side are all from far away. Expecting the week after next to be super duper busy for us. Nonetheless the first day raya still meriah at our side. The plus of staying in kampong where the tradition is still intact. Our neighbors has regards my family as their relatives so we will join them on visiting from one house to another around our area. They will also come and visit us. So food preparation is still important in our checklist (always important).

I think for me the spirit of raya is always being around the family, the food preparation and presentations and the visiting part. That makes the most of my Eid Celebration. Happy Hari Raya you all and Maaf Zahir Batin!

A little bit of this and that

2010-09-05T16:14:00.004+08:00

Sooooo many to update. Don't know which one to write first. Many important things happening in my life right now. I don't even have much time to relax and take my usual nap. Some days I just like la a zombie to go through the day...But overall life never been so full filling like right now.

These is what has happened since last update that I wrote (a week ago?). First the last minute buka puasa event together with Fawwaz mini birthday celebration. It's a success....everything is last minute, the menu the attendance list, the door gift, the birthday cake. But everything went well. The birthday boy having his first birthday celeb with a pool of kids knowing what they have to do already...They all give ways to the birthday boy, together sing the song and clap out loud once the birthday boys blow the candle....All done by themselves with minimal supervision....Imagine kids around 6 years and below knows the routine already haha...Seems that we have too many birthday party throughout the years that they all comfortable with the routine already. The adults all busy stuffing themselves and play catch up on the latest update and everybody is having a good time. Food is all enough to feed everyone of us and no wastage! (except for the rice and serawa durian). Small door gift idea and sponsored by my little sister was a small fish (alive!) to be given for the little guest. The kids were thrilled and so do we.

Then the day before we were busy shopping electrical stuff from Ikano. We are gadget freak... which is including the home appliance not only the IT stuff. We get ourselves a microwave, karcher steamer which hubby love so much as he can now mopped the whole house in just a minute. On top of that we get some windfall that we decided to get ourselves the steamer iron. Both of us grinning the whole day and my oh my how the tools has helped us to clean up after the open house.

On top of that I get myself busy to bake cookies for raya, chicken pie, learning how to make a bolognese from scratch (which I have a lot more to improve I think) and that has taken a lot of my time lately. I made a choc chip cookies (secret recipe from my sil), cornflakes cookies ( google) and also pineapple tart (my grandma secret recipe). Time to puji diri sendiri...home made cookies always taste good! I guess cos we use the best ingredients and made with love. My resistance of spending time baking also has improve...last time I don't have much patience to mold the cookies and bake which sometime can take hours....but now ...things has change and I am ready to bake :). Oh I thing to note....I understand myself now...I can bake for fun but not for sale though. I don't have enough patience for that haha.

Then the other highlight is, I have start working with my new company!!!! To be honest I am so thrilled!!! Tapi penatnya jgn ckp la...Not that I have start working like hell ke apa. But since I've been staying at home for a while I use to take a nap in the morning and afternoon. You can imagine how sleepy am I during that time. Not to mention that the office is pretty cold and I am fasting, I swear I am hungry to the max by the end of the day dengan bulu roma meremang2 tahan kesejukkan. Other than that everything seems fine to me. Ada kemaruk and jakun sket sebab now I have easy access for shopping, fine dining, all treatment like massage, saloon all around me. Last time I have to schedule for all this to happen. But now I can do any of above anytime after office. Isn't that dangerous. Hubby already warn me to be extra careful. Well I'm sure I will ( I hope :D). Another thing that I am so jakun is to have my own desk. Yes I am so jakun on that. I've been so use to be nomad, moving from one location to another due to my nature of my previous job. It's hard to have your own desk so basically nothing much you can do with your own work space. Sometime you don't even have your own work space. So sad you see. Now I have my own work space, my own cabinet and drawer...and I am sooo loving it. Gonna print some of my kiddos picture to be put on my desk later. Bring over my favorite mug and few other stuff to make me comfortable to be in the office and ehem...since maybe I have to stay a little bit late in the office I'd better make myself comfortable right!

Last but not least, we went for our monthly medical check up knowing that this time for sure I am going to know the gender of my baby. Again we all are sooooooo thrilled to be in the doctor office and when she scanned and tell us the results, guess who's the happiest person in the world!! Both Aariz and Fawwaz. Cos now they will have another brother to share their passion on cycling, riding bike, fighting etc. Yes it's going to be another boy. Which hubby turn to me and said..well we just need to try another round. And I said well will see how it goes with the 3 little boys around me haha. But syukur to God I am so happy with his gift. I am sure I can handle 3 boys if not God will not give me another right!.

Well, that's sum up on what is happening to me and my family for the past one week. Today we did some house cleaning, laundry etc and soon going out to Bangsar for a buka puasa event with a group of friends. Then will prepare for tomorrow (dah kena keje kan). Luckily raya stuff is almost done. OK lah byk dah to update...talk to you later ;)

5 hari lagi! Jeng Jeng Jeng

2010-08-27T08:01:00.002+08:00

5 hari lagi nak start keje.....owh tidak!!!

They are still a few outstanding task in my list....like baking cookies for raya....seriously I just have 2 types for now!... so kena gigih buat kuih raya this weekend.

And of course being me...I really can't stop myself to invite people for makan2. Have not done this for quite a while and as I mentioned before, since we stayed far away from civilization. People hardly come to our house if we don't invite them. So I'm taking this opportunity to organize a small buka puasa together with mini celebration for Fawwaz's birthday. This is his first kinda formal birthday celeb...and still considered mini since it false during Ramadhan. Not much activities we can do (I mean during this holy month takkan nak huha bagai). Thinking of getting some bunga api but sigh....it's really hard to get any now. Maybe mercun pop la pun yg ada kots! As long the kids are happy I guess that's ok!

Aariz school registration almost complete except that we don't have his immunization details. Then sek agama still pending for confirmation. Fawwaz we almost certain to continue with his current kindy since he's progressing well even though he get's a lot of punishment....

Hurm apa lagi....some minor shopping and house cleaning...the minor shopping I'll gladly resume when I start working. Hai tak tau la how I can be berjimat cermat with my new office location. Owh please remind me that I need to buy balang kuih raya ya (though no kuih yet...tapi balang mesti ada)

Owh and my facial and hair salon visit haha! Will need to get that done before start working as well.

OK peeps...have a nice long weekend (for some of you ;))

The Plan

2010-08-25T14:16:00.003+08:00

Revisiting life plan is always our favorite topic as husband and wife. We measure ourselves, our family for a 5 years plan. And it's amazing how we change as a person in that period of time. Now days besides 5 years plan we already start to look at beyond that. Reasons being well we are not getting any younger. Any plan that we want or will execute, we have to decide now. By the age of 40 or 45, the least that we want to to is to change the plan. By that time we have to settle with what we have. Doesn't means that we already give up or something...but we have to be prepared to live within our means with what we have and start to plan on how to live our life during our golden years.

The career
So lately we start the conversation again. With my change of career and new pay scale we have to do some restructuring. Hubby on the other hand is re-evaluating his career. Like me, we start to think that our SAP career is almost at the peak already. Nothing much it can offer us in terms of personal development or to fulfill our satisfaction as person. We have to love our work to love our life. That's what we believe. And at this age is either we change or we gonna stuck here forever. We have 5 years more to revisit our career and decide if this is it. After the age of 35, it's kinda hard to go for a career change anymore.. that's what base on my readings and also the opinion from my recent interview with the selection partner of my new workplace.

The education
Then we look further on our children, and family. This is where we need to have more that 5 years plan already. Where to put them on their kindergarten (which we already done that), primary school (decided) and next secondary school (few options) and finally their higher education. Well to be honest, I am totally freaking out about where should I send them to their school. With all the negatives comment of our education system and also the jinx about homeschooling or private school, well who doesn't? Or maybe just me? But anyway since we love to talk about things and I am the person who like to justify all my actions so that I am comfortable with the decisions I made. We finally put some conclusions on the long term plan. My father once advice hubby that we plan and stick to it, even financially/things change, we have to stick with the plan. So this is the plan that we sort of drafting / agree for now.

We both agree that currently sending them to a multiracial kindergarten is good for their social skills and understanding culture. I want them to understand colors are just colors and what make people difference are their heart. So far they are mixing well, pretty liberal, opinionated, and most importantly they are having a good time. I just hope that this is a good start / foundation for them to get to know the world and it's people.

Next, the decisions to stay to my parents maybe seems weird to some people. People always question why do we stay far far away from urbanization. To be honest, I don't get any visit from my in laws or friends that often unless if we formally invited, due to the reasons that we stay way back in Klang. Well I will not back off from that as this is for my kids... I want them to get the childhood that I have. The freedom of roaming around and explore stuff. So here we are. Proudly I am going to send them to the kampong primary school. Though I question myself so many time about this. But hey look at me, look at some people that I know off, they've done pretty well. I guess upbringing plays important role on their development as well. My justification to hubby on this, hey the kids need to know their roots. First they are Malays and they need to see with their eyes and feel it to be among us Malays. So that we know why we are so behind, what we can do to help or to improve, see how fortunate we are (or prob not) to be expose or to be lucky to have what we have. And also to appreciate and learn on what are some of the villagers still have. Courtesy, rendah diri, respect the elderly, sopan santun things like that. I know I have and I did, knowing my friends and be friend with them no matter how rich or how poor they are, their heart are all pure. I still hope that the values is there left for my kids to learn and experience themselves.

We had a conversation about education the other day on the quality of the teachers. Teachers who make their career now as just cari makan, to earn some money. Not passionate to mendidik anak bangsa...like before. Well I do remember that during our time some teacher are really dedicate (though they are few saiko teachers haha, I shall keep that to ourselves). But teachers who go to the extra miles to teach budak kampong on weekend for free like Cikgu Jamil. There is this one teacher (Cikgu Shikin), she is our Scout teacher advisor. Well she also goes to the extra miles, doing scout activities like cycling in the jungle (more to kebun) during weekend. Teacher Suzanna, with her English slang trying to teach budak kampong to speak in proper English, it's hilarious. But hey those teacher's exist during my time and I still hope they are pure heart teachers who love to teach the kampong kids at my former school like before. I almost certain Aariz and Fawwaz will complete his primary school here at kampong.

Looking forward for the secondary school, we know that this one we have to do something more serious about it. I have rejected the idea of sending them to the boarding school. Unless if in future they are multiracial boarding school. I want them to get back to the multiracial secondary school. The other day when we are looking for our next new home, we have considered a few places like Setia Alam or Shah Alam or even Alam Impian. As we try to look further (even with the ridiculous house price) we put a pause and start to rethink. Where should we send our kids for their secondary education? Hubby look around in Selangor and found out that school in PJ rated as no 1 and Klang rated as no 2 in the whole Selangor. So our choice to stay in Klang is already a good choice. But we also have a choice to move to PJ. After some thinking considering my MIL (that prob gonna stay with us) the other option is to prob rebuild the PJ house and move there. Though they are some debate about how the childhood for our 3rd and maybe 4th child going to be...The plan is to move there in time for Aariz to go for Secondary school. We think that by going to a multiracial school will help them to be more liberal, and can express themselves better. Hopefully with the foundation that they have (roots and religion) will guide them better facing the urban kids.

On the higher level education, I still don't have a final answer on it yet. Cos it will all depending on the children later, what they want to do /be. But we will definitely put aside for each child in case they need fund to further studies. My concept is each child has one chance of us funding their education. We are not super rich to fund each time they fail or think of changing course or anything. They need to be clear on that and they need to note that we have to give a fair chance to their other siblings. Else I am hoping that they are smart enough to apply for university and get scholarships from it. Means the extra money that I already put aside can be used up for our travel plan or maybe upgrade to a nicer car maybe :)

Of course on education it can be re-evaluate from time to time depending on our child progress. I believe each child are unique and they could face the world better than the other or maybe they need extra hand for help. I am not ruling out the possibilities of taking them out for homeschooling or private school (if they have issue with their education or prob social problem). But it would be great if the can go through the system and be strong and prove that they can pull through it. I am tempted to elaborate more on my view about private school and homeschooling but this post is already been a long post so I hold my view on that.

The financial
Of course like others we want to retire as millionaire. Or retire young retire rich...or having our financial freedom. Well we are working on it slowly and progressively. This is something that pretty hard to predict, but the base is already there. And from our career progression it will determine what sort of lifestyle we can have and how we can retire later. What my dad meant earlier about we plan our lives and stick with the plan is kinda traditional but worth to hold on. Like we already plan on where to settle down, the dream house base on our current load (and projected income/load), the education plan and so on. Stick with it even if suddenly we get a huge pay raise or something similar. Treat the extras as bonus, and spend accordingly or better keep it for later. Don't suddenly change the lifestyle due to that as we never know what's gonna happen next. Basically we are practicing that, except that sometime we also slacking here and there...(hubby can roll his eyes reading this cos most of the time I am the one who are slacking). The key is to spend one step down from our earnings, so that we are prepared if worse could happen. Like my career change now, it's a turn of 180 degrees from my freelance earning. Luckily our spending doesn't change that much from 5 years ago, except that we lock ourselves in some commitment/investment. So we turn out still OK. Looking at the brighter side, I don't have to worry about medical, get more stability, with annual leave, bonus, epf etc. This is maybe for our better future. So there goes our plan...I get a job with a better stability and hopefully hubby can climb up further in his career. We keep our spending low, invest more for child education, better life (house), travel and most importantly retirement (and maybe health insurance).

The other aspect of life
We are still planning, like our trip to travel around the world. The plan to be a philanthropist (owh how I am slacking on this)....they are many more in our plan list to fulfill our spiritual needs. Like I always wanted to bring my kids to the orphanage and to the elderly home so that they can see with their eyes people who are less fortunate. I always inspired to go to all this ceramah and learn more about my religion but duniawi still tebal kot. And the greatest plan of course is to perform Hajj by the age of 35 or at least by 40. They said if you have the capacity to go, go when are young so that you can enjoy the Hajj. All this spiritual plan on the other aspect of life are still not outline properly. Well we should spend more time to think of this pretty soon.

So far that is what I can think of about The Plan for our little family, and growing. Is something that I like to share and for me to refer if my plan is still on track. Any addendum to the plan, or will the plan change in the next few years time. Let's see.

Little something abt me and abt Aariz

2010-08-20T08:12:00.002+08:00

It will be 11 more days before my break is over. To tell you a secret, I get bored already staying at home. That hubby told me this morning, keje salah tak keje salah !! Isk hehe.

But this is Ramadhan you see (start blaming mode), I tried to fast since I should can fast for every single day. Truly is a challenge for me. Some day I can't eat much or even throw up right after sahur. Leave me feeling super hungry the whole day and make me fatigue and tired not able to do anything. Even if ate properly during sahur, by 10 or 11 I start to get really hungry. Last night when we woke up around 4.30 pm I ask hubby if he felt hungry. Hungry in a sense that really really hungry. He look at me one kind and said no...Then I realize..ok this must be hormone of mine. The baby might need continues supply. Anyway so far I skip 2 days already as I cannot stand the hunger and keep on vomiting nothing. Some other days are fine, if I can fight I can even cook some / prepare some dishes, do some cleaning. Other than that....melepeks on my bed from morning till time nak bukak puasa...
One thing I enjoy so much is to be around with my kids. Other than that feel pretty useless especially if the whole day I end up melepeks doing nothing.

So while I end melepeks most of the days, my little hero Aariz is all energetic. Now he did not complaint on anything about fasting anymore. He skipped twice just like me. Once because during the weekend, after sahur he went for Subuh prayers with his Atok, then reach home cannot get back to sleep and end up playing bicycle till noon and by 2 pm he already lembik....We give him a break. The other time is because he's been coughing, I guess it's more on lacking of fluid. He still can't drink lot's of water like adults did at night during the earlier days...So we give another day off. Guess what he told his Atok ? Owh papa tak bagi puasa. Ceh...But every other days he's been fasting, no more complaints, very energetic, break fast and makan dengan berselera, he learned how to drink more water before went to sleep and during sahur....Everybody is proud of him! I am proud of him too.

Other than that, back to me with another 11 days to go. I try to settle a few stuff like Aariz school registration, to engage part time helper for cleaning our hse (esp after I start working), get done with my kuih raya baking!, hurm what else haha...not much actually.

Short break is always good. I recommend to all mothers to take a break in your career every few years once. I did that every 2-3 years once throughout my career. Once is before we went to NZ in 2006, once after my NZ assignment completed in 2008 and the other is now...the duration is usually a month to 2 months. It gives me the sanity where I get to relax and spend time with my kids. It times to reflect on what I have done and achieved and what more I need for my future. Most important thing, it makes me appreciate my work more and I will always start fresh missing the workforce. So you see, the break will stop you whining about the job, the boss, the task, the colleague, the guilt fr not spending time with the kids, and list can go on.

At the end of the day, what important most is your happiness. You can't keep people around you happy if you are not happy yourselves right ?

When Nenek get sick

2010-08-17T09:10:00.004+08:00

I've got a meet up with Tan Sri today, this is for my new job...Owh not one to one by the way...it will be 1 to 20 that what I've been told. But today also my grandma who staying with us fall sick. She's been vomiting since sahur, which we suspect due to salah makan during Iftar earlier. My mom was not around as she's at kampung to look after her own mom. So my dad need to bring her to the clinic himself.

My dad without my mom around can go crazy sometime. He depends a lot on her but refuse to admit. Well I told my mom the other day that she can't blame him on that....all this while my mom was all around for him. You see my mom is someone that will sacrifice her career for my dad and the family. She still has her career as a nurse...but the further she go is as a Staff Nurse in the Medical Clinic in Klang. She decline for promotion as that will take her time (have to work shift/relocate etc). She work to fulfill her own satisfaction and to get extra pocket money. No more than that. Though I can see her envy some of her friend who become Matron and jump to the private hospital being paid high when we met them sometime. But hey, I guess her friends envy her even more. She retire early, my dad provide her car, bring her vacation around the world...and sometime on business class if he tag him on business traveling. She let my dad to climb his career and her to support him by his side.

Well now as they grow older and left with their own mom to take care off. My dad willingly took his mom to stay with him. My grandma is classic, like some other people from their generation. Let just said a little bit difficult especially when it come to food. She is a very good cook. So it's hard to satisfy her taste bud. At this age (80+) with diabetic, high blood pressure and a lot more, she will only follow her taste bud. Hence sometime when it's beyond control, she can fall sick. Like today. And it can be pretty bad due to her age. As she vomit pretty severe today, and since my dad alone and luckily I am still have my day off, and again we are now have no bibik around well all of us including hubby and my sister has to take part to help out a bit.

There is one system that is automatically generated between myself and my siblings though we are not very close (yes my family has problem expressing love, we all fall under category of tough love) to be responsible at a situation especially when my parents not around or either one of them not around. If both of them are around we lived like a King...ok don't blame us blame them for pampering us :D. Anyway we divided our task for the day like myself have to get some food for my grandma after sending the kids to school (bubur McD - she don't eat anyone else punya masakan except my mom that how difficult she is in term of food. But fast food is ok with her :D). Then have to arrange how am I going to leave the boys at home or not to leave them at home as I need to head to KLCC by 3 pm today. Without bibik I can't just leave them at home especially when my grandma is sick and don't know if my Dad can cope with my 2 kids and his ill mother at the same time. So my sister need to go back early to take over while I'm out for the meet up. The same happened when they are relative who passed away last time and my parent were out of the countries. Automatically all my siblings went back to my mom house and everybody pack some necessary stuff and off we go back to kampung to represent our parents. Well again that spontaneous action will only happened if my parents not around. That is one of many other important things that my parents has successfully thought us. Responsibilities and to be there for our parents.

Why I blog about this. Simply because I am touched to see how my parents take care of their parents and how I feel the same way about protecting my own parents. Nowadays, I don't see that much. I feel very irritated when I see people who just don't respect their parents (although how difficult they are) and how they complaint about their parents even though their parents has pour all their money, blood and sweat to them. Just because when the child embrace their own life, their freedom they felt their parents are just a burden. Come on, remember when we have our own child how patient we are taking care of them. And what do you feel if they treat you like you treat your parents now? Well enough said I am sure that many of us also still have good sense to our parents. Not to deny that sometimes they can drove us crazy as well...But don't that what parents does best ?

Alamak!

2010-08-16T06:35:00.004+08:00

Something just alarm me this morning! Owh no...I have not yet complete my yearly vacation yet! With me ballooning and soon to start with my new career which I don't know if I have time (or do I have enough leave) to take a week off by end of this year....wow everything looks so messed up to me. I don't want to miss this. Yeah yeah...it always next year or year after next....but I'm having a baby remember? It takes a while before I can really travel with an infant...Not to mention that Aariz already start his primary school, which mean my travel plan will revolve around his school holiday (or maybe not if I decided that he need to take personal school break :D). OK maybe I'll just start surfing around the flight tix to see if anything can fit me in this near future....No not this fasting month...but maybe right after ?

Ramadhan update

2010-08-13T10:51:00.004+08:00

Staying at home mode malas nak update lagi teruk ;)

Anyway since day 1 of fasting I've been drooling and thinking about menu of the day. Not that I'm doing the cooking ...my mom does...but I will sibuk2 asking what and add in one or 2 stuff that I like to have. Like day 1 is begedil...I made it from scratch! Day 2 I am flat like nobody business not sure why... maybe because I went out for a quick facial and the heat just weaken my already weak body. So I did not help much but keep on asking what is the menu for today...Day 3 which is today, my energy just kick back...and I am thinking to make roti john and chicken pie...chicken pie can be frozen and not necessarily to be eaten today... Since I'm making chicken pie, I might just boil some spaghetti to make carbonara for my kids.

Speaking of my kids. Aariz started to fast for the first time this year. Not too bad for beginner as he made it for 2 days in a row already. Though they are few funny things happened in between. Like day 1 after coming back from his kindy, he complaint about his stomach growling. I ask him how often? He told me maybe around 10 times already. Then I replied, it must be the worm inside your tummy asking for some food. Then he close his mouth with his hand and whisper to himself (like his voice going into his body) and says..."worm I'm sorry, no food for you yet. have to wait ya"....haha my mom and I was laughing out loud looking at his innocent face. But that just once he complaint...then he fall asleep, wake up around 4, go the mosque with Atok and play around the house.

Second day he start to get cheeky. I was not at home that time. But I heard that my grandma (his moyang) were screaming at him (well not scolding...it just people from Melaka they speak at the highest pitch the have). Anyway what has happened :

Moyang : Aariz tak puasa eh ? (Moyang caught him taking out bread and nutella
Aariz : Puasa lah ....ni nak siapkan utk malam nanti (that time just 3 pm btw)
Moyang : Kalau buat sekarang bersemut la diaaaaa....dah simpan simpan.... (imagine my grandma were saying this out loud haha)

Well then after I reach home ask him to sleep but he wants to play...during Asar he went to the mosque with his Atuk and they are tahlil held there. He get to bring back a small box of fried mee. At home he write his name on the box and warn everybody not to eat his mee. That is for his break fast today. Fawwaz was very pissed as he thought Atok only bought for Abang not for him...as they both are fan of any kind of mee. Then Atok bring them both to a shop nearby to buy some ice cream...to Abang kindness, he open up the ice cream to give to Fawwaz...but of course this time nenek pulak terjerit2 kan...and Aariz was quite mad cos he just try to help Fawwaz :D. Fawwaz on the other hand get to Abang nerve by drinking the vitagen one by one...till only left one bottle inside the fridge. So Aariz hide it somewhere behind. By the time we break fast...he start by eating his mee (and share some with Fawwaz of course), followed by secretly went to the fridge to drink up his vitagen (so that Fawwaz didn't see him and ask to share), then took out his ice cream and eat by himself at the hall. When I check on him, he already terbaring kekenyangan...I find it cute and I'm pretty proud of him.

I'm not sure how is he doing today...but he ate a lot during sahur too....that's why I think he can pull it through. But if he really can't we can still give him allowance....he still small I think. And as Atok saids, don't take out the fun from him as later he will think that it some kind of force things to do. As of now I can see that he actually do have some fun! and with lot's of encouragement from people around he felt important and proud too.

Where I have been missing ?

2010-08-11T09:08:00.003+08:00

I'm still here :). taking time off from computer/tv but still connected with my BB. Actively updating my FB status and that's about it. Going out for makan2 with friends, relatives and family before Ramadhan... settling our bibik departure..(yes we are bibikless now)... then due to my lazyness to go out and shop during Ramadhan, I settle the kenit's and papa's baju raya...siap songkok bagai...kasut raya also settle for the kenits...siap dah rasmikan lagi... what else eh?

A lot going on actually but as for me.....I am enjoying staying at home since 31st July few weeks ago. Waking up late, have a nap throughout the day (if I'm not out settling errands), having my me time and also spending lot's of time with the kids!. Boy how much I appreciate this short break!

Why is it a short break...Well my fate is on a roller coaster ride since a few months ago. I was applying this one job (and another actually but that one very slim chance) for a change in career. There is no promises that I'll get the job as...it is something different but really interest me!. I know I am good at what I am doing now, but the job no longer give me the satisfaction I need. I need something that I can work on not just to give me the extra money every other month but also to fulfill my soul.

After a few years of deciding whether yes or no to leave my current job with my current skill (which I do get extension of my contract for another one and the half year but I decline), and also a new two offer to continue my contract in a different area at the very last week of my service. Politely I decline it too. I decline with a trust on my heart that I have to do something with my life. Is either I change my career rather than whine every single day to my hubby and feel miserable for doing something that I don't have heart with or stay at home and take care of the kids. Eventually I might get boring and will come back to the workforce in the same area maybe if I can't change my career but I do need this break. So I handed over my termination of contract one month earlier than my contract end. Bold move I know and financially we are not broke but! we have to live within our means.

Now after a few months of interviews and follow up, I finally manage to secure a yes from the job that I am applying since last April or May (this is even I know that I am pregnant :D). No offer letter yet...so things may turn around but I keep my faith that rezeki is from God. Else I'll be taking a year break..6 months to spend with my 2 boys before the arrival of the newborn and the other 6 months to be with the newborn, fully breastfeed maybe and of course spend time with my 2 boys as well. Either way I keep my mind open that whatever happen is for the best for our future.

As of now, for my short break. I need to help out my mom a little bit as we don't have bibik around, just some helper to help out twice a week to clean her house. So I am commuting from my house to her house every day to check out things (well actually I get my lunch and dinner there and for this whole fasting month we are going to break fast at her house). I'm blaming on hormone (again) as I still can't stand the smell of the cooking. But my big plan is to make my own raya cookies! So far I just ordered 2 type of raya cookies...so the rest is either home made...or you guys will be coming to our house to have those 2 cookies haha. Wish me luck ;)

Bile tuan punya blog....

2010-07-29T14:38:00.001+08:00

tak boleh respond dalam comment box sendiri...

sorry peeps tak tau kenapa when i try to respond comment dalam comment box tu jadi hang. adakah sebab try comment dari office ? haih!

'Bird' penyek ?

2010-07-28T10:00:00.001+08:00

Aariz cousins just went for circumcised last school holiday. So after a while they went for a play date together last weekend.

Today at home he brought the ‘sunat’ subject. As usual (very meannnnn parents) like to scare him by saying that the ‘tok mudim’ will cut the whole ‘bird’. I know it’s not nice...Fawwaz is screaming saying that “Heyyyy later how are we going to pee!!! If I cannot pee than you know”, threatening me back haha. While Aariz look at me and says “No la ma, they will not chop the whole ‘bird’, just the tip of it and it will become ‘penyek’. Then I ask how you know?. He replied “The other day Akil (his cousins) show me his ‘bird’ after ‘sunat’ and I show him my ‘bird’ before sunat. His ‘bird’ is penyek”. Nak pengsan mak dengarkannya!.....And of course I get alarmed and told him don’t ever show his penis to people and not to see others as well!...But his argument is to see what is the difference.

After sending them both to their kindy I immediately call my husband told him about the conversation. He said well it is normal for boys to have this kind of conversation and I was like huhhhh!!!??. Then he continue at least Aariz shared things with me...And I wonder what else that this cheeky boy haven’t shared with me.

Anyway mommies out there ...is this normal?

Being a mom

2010-07-21T16:11:00.000+08:00

Having a good conversation with my uni mate. Catching up about live and stuff.

For some reasons I forgot that her son is already in Primary 1. And we are talking about our kids that is growing becoming independent and less and less dependent on us.

Like mine, I already start to train him on most of the stuff that he need to be independent with. Like feeding himself, taking care of his hygiene, taking care of his own stuff, peeing (several technique if you must know), and finally washing his own poo. The last one came in a little bit later actually as he cannot digest the idea of washing his own you know what and afraid of getting that sticky smelly things on his hand. But one fine day ( I guess this have to thank my mom and bibik) as he went to the toilet to do his big business, and when I check on him if he finish he ask me to go away. Proudly he claim that he can wash his own. I took a peek to see if he can really clean it up to my standard. Well enough said if half bottle of the soap is finished (mama exaggerating) and looking on how hard he try to sental you know what...ok la...it’s up to my standard then.

Well back to my conversation with my friend earlier I express about how worried I am on Aariz going to Primary 1 later. What if that and what if this. Then she said they just going to be fine. Seems that usually the mother will be worried sick but the kids will probably enjoy their school.
But unfortunately we can’t continue our conversation much after that. She need to pick up her sons. She claims if she’s late than later the kids will be wondering around ...hard for her to find him. Which I told her...well if that happen I’m sure the mom will be the one who will be crying, while the kids maybe just happily playing somewhere inside the school haha.

Well that’s the price of being a mother right. Keep on worrying about our kids. No wonder my mom are like that ! :D

Owh no!

2010-07-21T10:39:00.000+08:00

I had this conversation with hubby last night. To have a TV in our room. I am not a fan of TV that much but during pregnancy it helps me a lot to get me to sleep. Yes! TV before I sleep.
It is the same for my other 2 pregnancy. Having TV relax me down and sort of kill some time before I go to bed. And yeah I need specifically TV with Astro so that I can flip around. Not so much of watching it actually just to get myself tired. DVD doesn’t work for me.

Hubby on the other hand keep on mentioning about the extra wiring that he had to do and I keep on reminding him that I REALLY NEED THAT :p or else we will be camping at the living hall. At least for the next 6 months.

Next project is to get new air conditioner for my room at my mom’s hse. The one that we having now is broken. Then to get new cabinet for the new arrival. Current cabinet already full with my 2 boys clothing and don’t know what else. I probably going to spend most of my time at my mom’s house esp during Ramadhan and also during confinement so need to get all ready and set to go for both mine and mom’s house.

The list start to get longer... My mom already suggested to us to make the extra room at my house as baby room. I still think that at least for the first 6 months the baby should stay with us in our room so I don’t want to spend on that yet. But will see.

And the best part even I have been thinking about what to buy and what to do I am still in my lazy mode. I can’t stand more than half an hour to be in a shopping mall so how am I going to start shopping ? Don’t even start with raya preparation...I think I will just pass some money to my sister or my mom to buy my boys baju raya.

Owh the time that I get all the excuses to shop and be in shopping mall is the time when I can’t even stand to be in the mall itself. How lame is that!

Melon

2010-07-20T10:23:00.002+08:00

There is melon on my tummy hehe!

It is round and moving - berombak ombak! Hubby gets excited looking at my tummy and the kids....they were amaze for 5 sec then kiss the tummy then next busy playing and ignore me.

Anyway I have 9 more days to go. The job is ramping down....few documentation to do...Arghhh don't we hate documentation.

K lah later...after 3 posting yesterday I don't have much idea to blog for today.

Young chap, spoilt brat

2010-07-19T17:38:00.002+08:00

The other day we are talking about someone who would like to take a course that sounds difficult and not much future. How most of them against it especially on the location of the university and the course itself. The thought of how spoil the kids are (for getting whatever he or she wants) and now to study overseas taking courses that for some of them don’t have a future...well make me think.

I’m not sure yet how am I going to shape my kids later. But I believe that we need to believe in the kids and also believe on rezeki. I believe on the upbringing of the family helps on the success of the kids later on.

On the above scenario parents who spoilt the kids...what’s not new on that? Aren’t current parents generation not tend to do that ? This usually came from parents yang dulu hidup susah and don’t want their child to face the same. Like when hubby had this conversation with our contractor last time. He has been working hard day and night....getting a daily rate for his job around 70 to maybe 100 ringgit a day. He provide motorcycle to his kids who study at college. Constantly give money to them when they ask for. For his daughter that still in primary school he gave around RM 2 or 5 I don’t remember a day as he don’t want his kids to face what he has to face last time. The feeling of being left out when they were small not able to get what they want makes them provide to the kids so that they don’t have to face the same thing. Well that is the scenario from an ordinary kampong guy that earn by doing any sort of work for a living.

When come to our generation where all are being measured by material, we ensure that our kids wear the latest designer brand, get the latest toy in store, expose them to software and electronics and some tend to compete with their peers. Let the kids as early as age 5 as my kids start to compete and compare on the smallest item like their eraser, pencil case, school bag and what not. And we as parents listen to their wailing to get a more new branded stuff to be parade at school the next day. We let them do that to us and we teach them to do that to us. Well let face it, we are also the same!

Now let’s get back to the scenario about this young chap that now planning to study overseas (of course sponsored by parents) doing some course that some of them think of not having a bright future. My husband has a take on taking something that is more general so that it increase the chances to get a job. I have the opposite thinking. OK we put aside the spoil brat kids that we may have raise. Well after all it our kids. Now when they want to shape their future one...is either we already give them guidance a long way down the road on the prospect career or we let them choose. And when they already choose what they want to do, is not our right to say yes or no. We can guide them , show some lights. Eg: if they want to become a pilot, then probably introduce them to pilot friends to listen to their experience, real life working experience. Is that what they want to do. Bring them to the education center and get them to see the subject that they need to take and pass. Then let them decide. I don’t mind my child taking some weird courses if they really want it. But they need to understand and be responsible with their choice. If it’s going to be funded by me, then they need to know that it’s a chance of a lifetime. They have siblings and it wouldn’t be fair if all the fund goes to him or her just because they don’t know what they want to do or take things for granted. If they believe in their choice I will believe in them. Who knows they are one of the people that is going to be like Bill Gates (fat chance) but hey nothing wrong to dream. And after all, after all the usaha and blessing from the parents, what come next is rezeki by God. You could be choosing a hell one course that promise a high chance of becoming rich and you might be a dean list for every semester. But if God says it is not your rezeki, it will not be yours! After all a degree nowadays is just a passport for you to get a job. It doesn’t guarantee you anything.

Then I guess it all boils back to the upbringing. Whether our spoil brat kids that we spend hundreds or thousands to them without them knowing the sweat of getting a penny will survive in the outside world? Those who whine to get the latest pencil case that move on to get the latest watch then next the designer handbag and multiple original games software will afford to get any of it using their own account. Are we going to become parents that took care of our child even when they are married and having their own child ? Well world has differently turn the other way round where we don’t look after our parents but look after our child. Then I wonder who going to look after us if we still looking after our child. Will they look after us later since we don’t look after our parents? Confuse eh ?

Anyway back on the young chap spoilt brat that want to study in overseas hehe...the other topic that caught me is that the location that he wants to study at is at the middle of the fun land that you could be deviated either to study or to party. Please spectators...I mean this is not their parents. You can be partying dalam hutan or outside or anywhere if you plan on one. Of course compared to if you already at the fun land not effort required to get on and party. Back to basic is always on upbringing. He or she can be deviated regardless where they are and is either we as parents thought them good enough or we as parents are lucky enough to get them back is all God willing again.

I might not be the best to comment after all since my kids is still small. But I believe in all the small things that matter to bring up a child. Since I’ve been brought up by my conventional parents that I swear I really hate them when I am a teenage. But as I grow older and wiser I get to understand what are they doing for us is for our own good. And how they believe in us to make the decisions in our lives as they already guide us enough during our childhood. And good thing even we don’t turn out to be a multimillionaire (yet) or some big shot (yet)....but so far we are all doing fine and ok and I hope I make them proud too. The same thing that I hope I can do for my kids later on.

note: my 3rd entry for the day....what does it means eh? actually i have more things to blog...but esok pulak lah ;)

Terlupa atau pelupa?

2010-07-19T13:17:00.002+08:00

Isn't it nice to blame everything on the hormone right. Like me being forgetful.

Last week I left my purse inside my drawer in the office. I don't realize it until the next day when I am working from home and have to fetch my kids....which I thought of getting them something at the shop nearby and owh darn!!! The purse is not with me!.

If not how la I am going to buy food for us ? My brain thinking hard ... about hurm maybe I get some food that I can pay with my credit card...ops my credit card is in the purse. Hurm how about cash some money using my cheque! Aiyohhh than need my IC to identify myself....Luckily my mom call me right after that to tapau us some food.

Then next is when we pay a visit to my mil hse. Conveniently leave my handphone there. Err we already halfway through back to my house and we decided to make a turn back to PJ just to get the phone.

Yesterday I left my house key at my mom's hse and conveniently drove back to my house. Reach home with no keys and staring blank at my son (Fawwaz) then I ask him where is the key. He replied...don't know la ma...Again luckily my husband is just 10 mins away from home (he is with Aariz just return from swimming class) and I kill my time to drive around our housing area......

Each incident make me more alert with my belonging now...but hey I can't stop my hormone from making me forgetful right...Yeah right!

Property hunting

2010-07-19T10:14:00.001+08:00

So we went for property hunting last weekend. We were thinking of buying a properties near to my in laws housing area. Reasons being, the chances that my mil will stay with us once my sil move out from her house is very high. By staying near to both my sil, we can at least get some help whenever necessary especially if we have to go away for weekend, work late and many other reasons. The thought of having family near is somewhat drive us to this.

The property area is at Setia Alam. We are looking at Setia Eco Park at first as my sil mention when they launch the Semi D price is around 600k. My thought...the highest it could go maybe 900k after 3 years...or maybe 1.1 mill top. With confident we went there and what do you know...it is actually launching day for the new phase of their Semi D. To be eligible to buy you need to get a letter from the appointed bank by the developer. But that will not guarantee you yet, they have balloting system later and if you get it then you have to sign and buy there and then. We went to check our eligibility... which we pass...then next only we ask for the opening price....freaking 1.7 million!!!! For a semi-D. I use to think people who buy a terrace or semi-d that cost a bomb is silly...I guess I just one of them? No ? OK we don’t know yet. I told hubby why not we have a look at the show unit first. Who knows it is really nice and worth the money.

We hop on the buggy car and they bring us to this nice show unit area. Well to summarize, they have around 8 show unit different design and they are all disappointing. First the criteria is to have a bedroom with attached bathroom for the mil. Some of them some of them not. The second major turn off is on the kitchen design. Is either too small and (not or) all are facing the wall not the garden. Who cook in the dark ? I want my kitchen to be open and facing outside. I can’t tolerate on that but other things do contribute on why is it a no no to buy this properties. They have some show unit unfurnished. Means this is what you get when you buy the house. The finishing is ok but not great. You don’t feel that 1.7 mill is worth the feelings of the material that they give. Look at the staircase alone...Just a normal staircase like the one in my current house. Even the timber flooring feels cheap. I am not sure if the factor of the house is powered by solar make the price go up that much.

Anyway after spending a good 3 hours there we don’t think we are going to buy the property there for now. At least for that price. When we check the house around Setia Alam, the Semi-D now goes around 888k and above. Still crazy but pretty much reasonable. But they are selling like a hot cakes.

We start to expand our search and other possibilities. Property near Setia Alam maybe if not there. But this is just a thought for now. Property hunting is fun but with current market it is not wise to buy one. At least that is what we thought. People are crazy to buy not to stay but to re-sell. The properties price went up not 10-20% over years...but 100-200%. Our salary doesn’t goes up that much. But people still buy those house and spoil the market. (well people that are conventional like me might think that way). Since the economy is good now, best is to keep our money save somewhere. Stop buying and just relax. Hoping that later when the economy goes down again, then we can smartly invest and spend our money wisely. Perhaps this time I can go and look for lelong properties :p

Dream on!

2010-07-17T12:07:00.002+08:00

Tengah dalam investment mode and shopping mode. Macam mana tu ?

We still don't have a conclusion on where do we really want to settle down. The dream...the big dream of building our own house on a landed area or just to buy a house in a gated community with facilities. When we start to think about properties we just went crazy haha. I have a dream of a perfect kitchen facing a garden...and he has a dream of his own house on his on terms.

Then a part of thinking the perfect location and the perfect house...some other things we have to consider also. See being an adult and if thinking of being a responsible one, a lot more to think. To think about our parents, the in laws...how convenient the location if we have to take care our ailing parents... Then not to forget about our kids, the school, the environment, place for recreation and facilities.

Well when my bain starts to think on the next near future...mcm2 lah. But we can always plan and God will still determine the final case.

Happy mode...

2010-07-15T11:03:00.005+08:00

Tak tau kenapa. I opt for something different this morning. Get myself Big Breakfast from McD and eat slowly until the last bit on my desk while doing my work hehe. Seriously happy dengan my Big Breakfast haha.

On the other note I am looking for second hand baby gadget...in particular like baby cot ( I need another one to be place at my mom's hse), baby swing ( I figure if I buy brand new it would be a waste...since usually my baby use it until he is 5 months top). Baby carrier (This one pun I guess I'll be using 6 months top, prev experience shows that by then they are too big for the carrier). What else ? Hurm actually I made a list of baby checklist the other day. Then dengan pandainya I open another file and close my baby checklist file without saving it!. Pandai tak!!

But I am good without that list..you know why...If not I'll start looking at baby stuff and itchy to buy some of them because they look so cute!!! and like a must have... Example like this one. Justify ke ?The other thing that I feel like having it or must have is moses basket. No picture on that yet...ngade ngade ke tak ? I know some not necessary at all because my first 2 child can survive without any of this...Of course la we have other gadget but just a basic one. But now since you are financially better than before you feel like to provide a better facilities for you child. Is that fair?... mama dalam dilemma

Sweet and bitter

2010-07-13T14:44:00.001+08:00

Often when I read other people blog or get to know about other people life (yes I am nosy hehe) I like to compare with my own current life. To reflect the high and low of our own. Most of the time... I have to be grateful that so far I am blessed with all the goodness and greatness of life. Though they are some bitterness here and there, but we have to manage our expectation right don’t we?

I would be lying if I said that I am happy throughout the years. They are up and down. Unhappy with work, money, family, husband, the society and the list can goes. The day that you heard or you read about people who can splurge their money and buy dozens of designer handbag and shoes...that night I will go all over my husband asking why I can’t have this and that and why I can’t just simply buy this and that. Well this is the best part .... he will rationalize me with his justifications which I know is true but still buat muke monyok and tt’s about it. Sometime he makes some funny remarks that remind me why I marry him at the first place...I swear there is one night I really want to blog about his goofy remark that I forgot already what was it to prove that my husband is frugal and witty and meannnnn!. But not that I didn’t get any at all. With good justification I manage to get away once in a while.

Same goes to career...how I dreaded to be a fulltime housewife each and every other day (especially the bad day) I will nag on him over and over again to let me just be one. But then again we have set certain standard of a lifestyle that we want to achieve or at least to have a strong financial before I really jump off from the boat. Hence why am I still here in the office have to liaise with 1001 perangai manusia kan...and again not that we are not compromising with each other. I have my opportunities now to take a short break and at the same time applying for a job that maybe can give me more satisfaction. Well due to that they are certain things that I, we and the family has to sacrifice and will be subject to what is going to happen in my career and his career.

Well not sure what is the point of my posting today. I just want to share that sometime we expect that our life should be like this or should be like that. But when reality strikes things will change and we just have to adapt with the change. Some things we want we might not always get it so what do we do ? We either work for it, we might get it later OR ... we lower our expectation and just get whatever we have now and enjoy it.

I guess life is really like a box of chocolate. We never know what are we getting...just enjoy every piece of it as regardless what ...it will still be sweet with a little bit of bitterness.

Baby checklist ?

2010-07-12T10:59:00.000+08:00

4 years gap from my last baby is actually quite long. I forgot already what is required to welcome the new baby onboard. Well at first I am not that excited to look at baby preparation checklist. They are 6 more months to go and since I already have 2 I thought they are nothing much to worry about. But after reading some blog of expecting mom and also talking to my dear friend lyn ... they have started looking and thinking of buying some baby stuff. That put me in alarm mode for a while.

I realize that I don’t have much baby stuff left with us. Baby clothing almost all given away including the bibs, cute booties and socks. And since Aariz and Fawwaz gap is not that far I recycle most of Aariz stuff to Fawwaz. By now if I still have some of them...they must be very old already ...yikes hehe. Baby clothing is a must on my to buy list...But i’ll start that sometime after Raya maybe.

I know my Mc Laren stroller is still in a good condition ...we bought that just before we move to Kiwi land 3 years back to replace the old Annakku stroller that already broken into 2. Yes we use our stroller to the core regardless it is cheap or expensive ( we have only 2 so far btw)... and pretty much satisfied as both has been travelling around and be on the plane/ferry, not once but countless time. Lucky them stroller hehe. I don’t know if I am going to fall under the hype of kiasu parents nowdays that have the most branded stroller and parade it around the shopping mall ...will see that later ;)

Next will be the baby cot. Well at time when we have Aariz we just bought a playpen. A lousy one...poor little boy. But then again as we are travelling around (that time to Miri) and stayed in a service apartment we can request for a baby cot. When Fawwaz arrive we only have a few months before moving to Kiwi land. There we get ourselves a second hand baby cot which is cheap and very reliable. We ship it back here to Malaysia hence I don’t think we need to get a new baby cot. We will repaint it back and the colour may depends on what came out from my scan next month.

What else, bottles, sterilizer, new microwave to heat the milk..breast pump (hubby ask me to rent first to see if the breastfeeding goes well) that will come later as well. I keep on thinking that I have plenty of time to plan for all this. But if I look carefully on the schedule for this year...first we just have one month before ramadhan and next raya. After raya which is in October ....besides the baby stuff, Aariz is going to primary school!!! Means I will be busy shopping for his text book and what not then the school uniform and the shoes....white spanking shoes... At this rate I don’t know which one I should be more excited .... the first day Aariz going to school (which I really hope that I am still strong and not due yet) or to welcome the new bundle of joy.

Year 2010 might be a slow moving year for me...but second half towards the end of the year looks pretty exciting with new hope for 2011. I am dreading to have this 15 days to be over soon and start a new leaf of life.

The monthly check up - 12 weeks

2010-07-07T17:37:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I went for my monthly medical check up. Now the hospital that I went to has this scanner with new technology. Well I can’t describe much on the technology but what I witness are wonderful. At 12 weeks I can see clearly the baby with her 2 hands and legs, can see almost the facial feature ie: the nose. I can listen to the heart beat and during the scan my baby is so active jumping up and down. No kidding ...we can see the baby bounce in my tummy happily and wiggle her leg too. At that moment I know what I went through so far it is more than worth it.
Since the visit is during weekday, I get my dear boy Aariz to accompany me. He is a great companion...(of course now with his PSP he behave extra well). When we walk into the hospital, I saw a wheelchair. Ask him if I can sit on the wheelchair and he push me. He said of course when I want to deliver the baby later. I said I want now. Then he pause and look at me. Now cannot, you can walk ..later people marah at you. Ok that’s fair enough :p. He wait patiently for me to gobble a full bowl of laksa while of course playing his PSP. When I suddenly felt like vomiting and running straight to the toilet, he also jump from his chair and follow me running...he he cute! Wait for me in the toilet and make sure that I am ok before I walk out from there. At 6 years old I feel blessed to have him as my eldest child as he is far more responsible that I hope that he would be.

They are drama at home while I and Aariz went for the check up. Apparently my other child is not very happy that he being left out from the check up. Upon reaching home, Fawwaz throwing tantrum and menangis mendayu2 at me asking me why I leave him behind. This child of mine is very different from Aariz. Since he was small he will be showing tantrum or even develop fever if we leave him for a short trip. Not to mention long trip where I have to cut out some of my buss trip due to his feverish condition. Very clingy but very bossy too. When you are around he will pretend that he don’t need you but if you try to leave him, he will be the most charming boy ever. At night when his dad reach home, he again repeat the same sad story. Accusing his brother to follow me and leave him behind while he is sobbing. Kesian dia. I promise him for a treat between him and me only soon.

One moment ago I long want to be the successful career woman. Now days my career is just to fulfil my inner self. If only that the inflation and the cost of living that we have to bear here in Malaysia...long ago I already retire from my current workforce. Sad that sometime I make my kids to believe that I really have to work hard to earn money to provide for the family. Like what Aariz just mention to me the other day...”Ma when the baby is out you have to work harder you know. Both you and papa”. When I ask why he simply reply “ Because we need to buy stuff for the baby , we need more now”... Well sometime I do think...do I really need more cos if we just live life as it is ...one income should be enough. But for that extra need here and there 2 income is what we need for now. Really then I think again...will that worth with what I sacrifice for the kids...the time. I am strong believer that the kids will be a better person if one of us stay at home and concentrate on their needs.

Up till today I still not sure what if I’m doing the right thing or not. Again I will be thankful that at least my kids are back there with my parents that will teach them some good life lessons. And I am looking forward to have the third one...and maybe more later one if everything goes well ...God willing.

Tired but chatty

2010-07-05T16:29:00.000+08:00

Too lazy to work la lately. Can I blame to my hormone? Of course I can ;).

Just to kill time let me blog some more about my ‘interesting’ pregnancy journey. My belly has become round and I swear the other night I felt a hard kick from inside my tummy. Hubby said it’s impossible as this is just my 11 to 12 weeks (according to the doctor). But deep down my heart I think it could be more than 12 weeks already. I am due to my monthly check up but since my work is piling and I have a testing that I need to complete today, I skip the check up.
I felt like wearing jubah all the time or kaftan or just plain naked. Seriously anything that hanging around my belly make me super uncomfortable. No need to describe more on that but I am on jubah hunting for my working attire. Which I still have time to think about in the next few weeks until I get confirmation if I get the job! Without the job I am just happy with my few jubah that I have and kaftan and prob just stay naked (the last one apply if I’m at home all alone ;))

Ok please stop any wild imagination of yours…

Next move on to my dear boy Aariz. He never fail to amuse me. The boy love to make card for us. Almost every day or every alternate day he will make one for any of us. Just recently he ask hubby to spell wife. And hubby told him how to. The next thing he gave me a card nicely written : ‘This is special for my wife and my mom!’. Well my reaction …. I merajuk immediately. Then he ask me why ma why ? I ask him who is his wife. Why you want me to share the card with your wife? Why you wrote wife first before mom ! Hehe…I maybe over reacted but hey :p. I have the right :p. So he quickly erase the part ‘my wife and’ leave the statement ‘This is special for my mom’. But I still give him my merajuk face. So he went up the bed and give me a hug and promise me for a new card. Sigh….one day when he is big enough I don’t think I am going to get this treatment again….so I guess I deserve to enjoy this moment.

We have a conversation after that about the wife and the mom. I tell him that he need to treat her mom (me) special, different from the wife. Later when you have a wife of course you will love her and be together with her…but don’t forget me. Always put me somewhere special in your heart! Of course then simple answer for him. Ok ma…I love you ma…yeah right! I hope I have another 20 years or more before someone rob him away from me (selfish mama :p).

Another thing, hurm lately I kinda mixed up my real life with my dream. My dream revolve around what has just happened in my real life and evolve to what next could happened. Example, in real life they are one person that I do not agree on what she do. In my dream, I actually confront this girl and she turn out to do things differently. Another occasion is I am waiting for a call to discuss on some package…the next thing I dream of on what are the package offered. The weird thing is when I wakes up and do some stuff, I thought that my dream is real ….I thought things already happened but in reality…it is just a dream continuity from what has happened in my real life. I get confused for a while until I remember which is reality which is not. Scary huh! I hope this is temporary because I just got it during my weak period that I sleep most of the time. Maybe because I fall asleep often and what happened in reality flows in my dream…and that is what it happens.

See suddenly I have so much to update. Will keep other stories for later.

Good news!

2010-07-05T12:52:00.002+08:00

Have you heard about the good news ?

My nausea is almost over! Ok I might speak too soon but hey I it's ok to have a good hope right!

I still have some of it at night but it's managable. The vomit part of course it won't go away 100% but at least it has been reduced much.

Since it's all look pretty much good I decided that it's time for our overdue holiday. Poor my 2 boys not able to go anywhere with us during the school holiday as my nausea are very bad that time. So we plan for a short getaway this weekend and I am really looking forward to it. Hope everything turn out to be well !

What I hate part 2

2010-07-01T14:34:00.002+08:00

Warehouse sales!

Mainly for shoes, clothing....or any small small item lah. I hate the fact that I need to que....long que, then fight over shirts of shoes that I don't even have enough time to think whether or not I need the thing. And usually after all the effort of going into the place, you feel just not worth it to buy 1 or 2 ...and again you end up buying things that most of the time...you won't use it.

You know what else I hate the most...when the thing at the warehouse sale is broken. Well once I bought few shoes and guess what? Tapak tercabut lah .... kaler turun la...mcm2 hal!

I went to a few last year...but I guess I just not the type that sanggup to do all this for the sake of cheap thing. Cheap come with a price that end up the same or more price that I pay for the thing that I really want and the convenient of time purchasing it. Well that is power buyer!

What I hate

2010-07-01T12:03:00.002+08:00

Pernah tak you have so many things running in your head yg kejap you think about this then next you think about that but it's actually going nowhere. Well that is what happening to me now.

One thing for sure I hate the thought of you want to do something or you plan on something but then they are uncertainty and nothing much you can do but just let the clock ticking and let everything else false into pieces. Okla itu jek la dulu :p

Another grateful entry with a slight whining :D

2010-06-28T16:00:00.003+08:00

Susah nak tidur....

Seriously....My nausea is getting better but now I have this sleeping disorder problem. Every one hour I will wake up staring at the ceiling try to get my best position but.....I will stay awake for a while...slowly fall asleep then suddenly awake again. The process repeat until maybe 5 in the morning, then only I'll get into my deep sleep until 6.30. By that time my house dah mcm taufan cos my 2 kids will be wide awake by his dad to get ready to school. So mcm mana mummy nak tido ?

The this week I have testing to complete. Require some coordination and impact few parties. Nak tak nak I have to be in the office. Somehow the vomit part is manageable now, just a bit tired due to lack of sleep.

On the other note, I start to educate my kids about the baby. Aariz is very curious on how the baby came out from the birth canal. He keep on asking if the baby really come out from my celah kangkang (that is his exact word). Sometime try to peek on my you know where to see where is it coming from hehe ..... I still try to find a good video on birth labour to show him though. Fawwaz on the other hand are very concern to see the stretch mark on my belly. My stretch mark is pretty bad and I got it since Aariz time. I told them how my pretty tummy has to stretch when both of them grow and that resulted to the ugly marks. That is why they need to listen to me for all the suffering that I have to endure during my pregnancy ...and they just reply by saying ....kesiannnnnn mama.

One of the night while I'm lying on the bed, both Aariz and Fawwaz sits next to me and sang some lullabies for the baby in the tummy. I find it very cute. The hold my tummy and take turn singing some songs. I told them that my tummy will grow big and later they can see the baby move in my tummy from the surface. And there goes their ooooooooooooowwwwh and aaaaaaaahhhhhh. Sometime when they make a lot of noises I said hey...the baby is very angry with the loud noise coming from both of you. They will come to me and put their ears on my tummy and try to listen to sound of the angry baby :p.....And usually Fawwaz will said...yelah mama....the baby is angry...I can hear it!

During breakfast last Sunday hubby were asking the kids..how many more baby they want. Aariz quickly says I want two more. The one in the tummy and another one. So that we all can fit the 6 chair on our dining table. Lucky I have only 6 chair there…Imagine if I have more! Fawwaz lately don’t want to be left out….He said pa …pa … sambil depangkan tangan dia….I want banyakkkkkkk baby!!!! Then sengih2 kerang.

I guess that makes all the pain of 9 months sickness and the labour worth every second. Having child of my own that make me smile and laugh..that bring comfort in me though some of the not so comfort moment…but it’s all worth it! Not many people are blessed to have this happiness. And again I am grateful for it.

The best anniversary gift in my life

2010-06-23T11:35:00.000+08:00

Suram jek my life lately. Bukan suram kenapa... my hormone. Ok just take it my first paragraph of whining. Mcm mana tak suram nak keluar pun tak enjoy. Now the most difficult thing to decide is what to eat or what to drink. I have no idea what I want and it effects me in term of susah nya nak makan and kalau salah makan or minum jek ...bye bye lah. Then kalau keluar lama2 like last weekend temankan hubby to get his anniversary gift ( erkk temankan dia hehe). Mesti rasa uneasy and not enjoying to the fullest.

This year thanks to hormone....I don’t feel like shopping at all. So hubby get his double gift for anniversary and father’s day. A brand new wallet and sunglasses. Despite my mabuk2 and vomit2, I embrace around 4 hours searching for a perfect wallet and sunglasses for him. To prove how much I love him...ngeh ngeh...actually I did get something in return. Not in material but I get to first eat at Teppanyaki. You know for me the worst part is when you think this is what I want to eat but the moment food masuk dalam mulut...I felt like not eating anymore. Then all the mabuk2 and rasa nak muntah and perut kosong will come. But that day ....teppanyaki is d food!. The moment I taste it....I wobble the food like nobody business. Happily....then we went for the gift hunting...take a break dekat The Loaf....again that is d food!! I ate happily again...even my kids are happy eating. Then since we already search high and low for the gift tour all the floors and almost every single shop for the perfect wallet and sunglasses....I let hubby to decide while I went for a massage with Aariz. Yes that little devil are really spoilt. He really enjoy a massage just like the parents ...After finish the massage session (which I felt just so so this time...maybe due to hormone again)...hubby already waited at the shops grinning at me. He bought the sunglasses already but waiting for my approval for the next purchase. The wallet!. I already told him that I love the wallet that we first saw...but he felt that for that purchase he want me to be there. We walk again to the other side of the mall ask for the wallet (last piece by the way) and hubby is one happy man in the world. We end up the trip with another makan2 session at the food court and tapau some food as I am pretty sure that I won’t have any energy left to go out for dinner.

We spend the day pretty much OK...at least for me. I think the best anniversary gift that I receive this year is realizing how lucky I am having hubby as my husband. You see I am not perfect girl that anybody want to marry me. (I thought so last time).Especially when I get pregnant and all the symptom that I have can just make people want to kill me. But he is a very sweet person. I can keep on lying at home watching tv not doing anything at all and he will help with all the house chores without any fuss. Help to take care of the kids .... wake up early in the morning and settle everything and I just do what I need to do just for myself. Clean up my vomit...cos if I clean it up myself I might just keep on vomiting not stop. If I feel uneasy in the middle of the night he will wake up and help me either to get some bread, make some water, massage me, on or off the air condition and do some gazillion stuff without any fuss. Sometime I can see that he is tired... But still settle whatever necessary at home. When I ask him if he is OK? He will smile at me and say it is ok dear.

For that I am grateful for what I have...and realize that is the best anniversary gift ever that I get. A loving and understanding husband.

The plan for the weekend

2010-06-18T12:22:00.002+08:00

This coming weekend will be our 7th anniversarry !! Time travel or what. Yerla I am expecting no 3 pun so that's justify la kot kan haha.

Now one plan in my mind to celebrate is to eat at teppanyaki kat pavillion tu. Don't mind lah if its not 5 star ke any star ke as right now I keep on thinking about the food there. Then since it's at pavi...I might can drag him to feast my eyes to see if any is worth to buy for our anniversarry gift.

Unlike last year or few years ago....I always have something in mind already to ask for my anniversarry gift. But this year thanks to hormone, and maybe partly I feel that I have almost everything that I need...I don't have anything particular in mind yet. Not yet....But I have something in mind for him. Not sure if he likes it or want or not.

So skrg tgh kemaruk fikir what are the thing that I possibly want. Always when I start to think this way...then you start to think of getting something that is not necessary. Tapi takpe la kot...I just give a thought bukan nak beli pun kan.

OK...I think I kinda merepek now...Later ;)

Pregnancy and me

2010-06-15T14:46:00.005+08:00

When I am pregnant I will turn to someone that is not me. The most obvious one is for me to be anti social person. Not that I don’t want to socialize with people. But with the nausea, coughing, vomit, dizzy and all...how am I suppose to talk to people and socialize.
Last week for example, I have to attend a wedding, family lunch and also a birthday party. Imagine the effort that I have to put to contain all the uneasy feelings that I have in me. Good thing is I manage to go through the whole sessions with a slight vomit in between here and there.
Thank God that I still have a mom to rely on. Which make me appreciate my mom more and understand how she loves me. I said about something (food) the next thing, it will appear from don’t know where. The thing with food...I have to eat continuously small portion and the food must be right. And how to know if the food is right ? I wouldn’t know until I swallow the food....The moment it’s enter my throat then only I know if I can take it or not. They are 2 incident where I am very hungry to the core and when the food is in front of me....I take a bite and that’s it....That’s not it!. You’ll force maybe to take a few bite....or you probably try to switch to something else. But the after effect will be. Since the taste is already lingering in your mouth...you’ll just throw everything out until nothing is left inside to throw out again and after that best if you just take a nap.

I do envy people who has a smooth pregnancy. Little nausea and can really enjoy the pregnancy. It’s hard to get people to understand what I am going through because not everybody has it. Like when in the office...something that I could not help is the coughing and spitting. I know it is yucky. But I can’t help it. It is not me....it’s the hormone. And you can’t control the smell in the office and the temperature. Well temperature is another thing I can’t stand cold temperature...yes that is for the first trimester. No fan...you know how the people at my house hate me for this. When we eat together....everybody will be sweating hot as I can’t stand the fan. So if I eat by myself earlier or later that them...is consider heaven for them. But at the place with people that I barely know or I can’t control....I have to bear it for a while and the next thing.....throw out like nobody business, instant headache and the cure is only to take a nap.
Now that’s the reasons why I can’t hide my pregnancy even at early stage. It is too obvious that I am pregnant when my baby bump appear at my 8 weeks. Like I already pregnant for 4 months lol. Not to mention all the symptom above that already make me looks like one hell sick person.

I understand that from my mom side most of us have a terrible morning sickness. Something that we have to endure and being passed by genetic maybe. But what all mother wish are just for the baby to be born safe and healthy. I am sure I can go for another round of this....after having 2 of my baby earlier. Wish me luck for my pregnancy and to endure the next 7 more months ;)

My 2 monkeys

2010-06-14T11:18:00.001+08:00

I want to update about my little monkey. Two of them.

Both of them are raised by a little shots of budak bandar and a little shots of budak kampong. During the day we sent him to a multiracial pre-school , English medium to let them get some exposure. After school they will go back to my parents house, kampong area and become budak kampong. Aariz will go to tuition class at 3pm so that he can polish his reading skills and mengaji class at 5pm where both is in the kampong area. So from a fully well equipped class with air-condition to a wooden house with mud and dust around.

Right after his mengaji class, usually both of them will start to play outside with the neighbours. They are a few of them more or less the same age with both of them. My kids I admit a bit lembik la...compared to real budak kampong. When they play, they play pretty harsh. But both of them will try to keep up. And kalau tak dapat keep up especially si kenit no 2, he will just go inside the house and play with us :p.

Lately during the school holiday they enjoy their outdoor more than ever. Since I am not feeling well last week, I spend most of my days working from home. So I overheard some of their conversation with the neighbour. My kids especially Aariz will speak in English most of the time. Even with the neighbours, makcik2 or nenek2 around the kampong. Last time they (the kids) used to ignore him cos most of them don’t understand English well. But lately they are also trying to make conversion in English. Which I find a bit interesting. Like Fawwaz the other day want to share some of his m&m, he asked the boys what colour they want? Red or Yellow...and they replied the colour that they want in English too. Currently all of them are really into cycling. They cycle around the house like nobody business. We have a big compound that they can safely cycle and race around the house. Owh not to mention that one day Aariz did actually cycle to fast that he lost control and end up in the drain. When he try to get out from the drain he actually on the other side of the drain which is dalam kebun orang. Can you imagine how he scream for help....:p. Well that night we all told him a story....that almost everyone of us (my sibling and my cousins) at his age will actually get an accident and fall into the drain. It’s part and partial of learning ;)

I know it is hard to occupy the time for 2 young and energetic boys. That make me glad that for now with the help I am getting the kids are fully occupied most of the time. Just yesterday they played with the cement and help the grandpa patching some of the hole at the store room. Help the grandma to water the garden. Some fun activities to do that make them love the grannies more than the parents :p.

One last thing, Aariz conversation that might entertain you !

This is Aariz conversation with his grandfather during dinner...

Aariz : Datuk I think the fish is hungry. Can we feed the fish after dinner ?
Datuk : It’s late night. The fish already sleep.
Aariz : Datuk, is not only you who are hungry and eat at night. Fish also can be hungry ok.
Nenek : Ok Ok ...we feed the fish after dinner.
Aariz : Good, now I will go and play with the fish. Make sure the fish will not sleep before we feed them....

What matter

2010-06-14T09:26:00.002+08:00

I make my move already.

July will be my final day. I am excited and scared....It could mean I will be jobless or not. It could mean we have to struggle a lil bit. It could mean a lot's of thing.

But one thing for sure...it would mean I will be much more happy. The kids will be happy as well.

Well that's what matter for now.

Shallow

2010-06-12T18:06:00.004+08:00

I just have to spill it out.

Thank God that I am not shallow :p

I know I am not a straight A's student. I am not someone who follows the rules all the time.

But I am glad that my parents thought me good enough to make me a human being.

One who can think that life does not revolve around myself.

They are a lot to consider before saying something that could hurt someone else.

And of course to know the facts rather than saying something that is again "shallow" and also can hurt other people.

Shallow to think that duniawi really can save your ass. And forget your root and just said something again because you are shallow !

Well that's for today ! Not sure why I am pissed.

Mumble

2010-06-09T12:37:00.002+08:00

It's a school holiday!!

OK It's actually a yaiy for my 2 kids for not having to go to their kindy. But they still wake up early...Just get used to it I guess. Unlike their mom who will take any chance to drag her sleep....

I am in the midst of self crisis. Hurm probably not really a self crisis. Try so hard to get out from my current role. Try quite hard to get another job. Well actually there is nothing to worry about because everything is already on track. Is just whether rezeki or not my rezeki.

At the same time I want to blame everything on my hormone. Yes hormone!. So peeps ...I am 8 weeks pregnant. Now that probably explain the reason why I'm pretty quite lately. It has to be right !

The thing is it started with craving to eat non stop, followed by feeling tired and fatigue....and suddenly at 6 weeks, the usual things happen. The nausea, vomit, caughing, crazin craving and it becoming bad day by day. I always forgot how it feels being pregnant. What I remember just the joy of having the newborn. Now I ask hubby, why don't you remind me all this ... theee heee.

So now the hormone push my kids away from me...I can't stand their smell after bath. The soap smells....is stink to me. They get very concern about me vomit and look tired all the time, well it can be sweet at time....but can be very annoying too. Reasons why...they will be mocking me vomit, or coughing or spitting around the house. Then laugh out loud as if it is very funny. When I try to nap ...sometime the little devil in them won't let me. They will poke my eyes, nose or tummy, come really near to me after bathing and running far from me when I start to scream at them. Somehow they find it hilarious!!!.and start laughing from far. Well what can I say, the joy of having boys...

Now hormone, I need you to behave. I have few more meet up that I need to impress people and really be myself. But when hormone take over I become someone helpless and probably screwed some good quality of mine...Please hormone be nice!

What if

2010-05-19T10:33:00.002+08:00

I really want to update stuff here...But they are 1001 things is running around my head and I am getting nervous thinking about it day by day.

To be honest, I don't like my current role now. It is just recent as in Feb I was seconded to this team. The team does a lot of technical development and the timing ...I hate the timing. The timing require you to work on a particular week of every month and be stand by. I had to cancel my plan vacation due to uncertainty of whether or not is technically possible. Don't get me wrong...I am used to work odd hours or even long hours. But during project, you can actually gauge when is the peak time and when is the low time...this one is a bit hard. Maybe I complaint too much..or maybe this is just something that I am not up too. Furthermore it is too technical to me (this is what I hate the most). I still love my user interfacing work rather that this. That's generally what I think. I am still coping well...despite all the challenge. Life must goes on right.

Well maybe due to the ups and down of above I am a bit quiet for the past few months. Though they are a lot happening around me...but not worth to shout.

I am thinking about more on where I want to be right now. What I really want to do. I don't want to be in a situation that you earn a lot but you are not that happy. At this stage of life, money of course does help at certain extend...but satisfaction in life is more important. Luckily people in my team are all very helpful and fun to be with too. That's help a lot to me. I also learn to let go certain stuff that's bothering me before I leave the office, and deal with it later when I am back in the office again.

Other than that I am considering a few other options like looking for a new role maybe? changing job ? or be stay at home mom and at the same this ask hubby to get overseas assignment ? the later sound more fun isn't it ;).

Those are the 1001 things that running around my head...what if that and what if this.

I am tired

2010-05-17T10:44:00.002+08:00

It's a long tiring weekend. Though I have lot's of fun with the kids. Update nnt la....Owh ya and the musical that I went last Sunday pun

It's a competition

2010-05-14T14:38:00.002+08:00

As a mother, I think I might be quite strict towards my kids. Like the other day when Aariz ask me to buy him a pencil colour that has a duck picture (actually swan picture) with 24 colours as his friends has the biggest in class. Or when his bag is broken and when I temporarily replace with the old Thomas the Tank Engine bag that he said his friends will laugh at his bag... (yeah Thomas the Tank Engine is not so cool anymore for 6 years old boy).

This is my answer (more to question) to him :

Mama : Does your pencil colour produce the same colour like your friend’s ?
Aariz : yes
Mama : Does his bag walk by itself ?
Aariz : no ma
Mama : Anything that you have besides if it’s smaller or maybe slightly older giving a different results from what they have
Aariz : no ma....

Well then I start to explain to him why he don’t need to be competitive in terms of material and so on so forth. So far he seems to except it quite ok.

Of course I know we can always buy him things and stuff him with whatever he wants. But rather than just giving him things that might not have any ending, it is best for him to deal with it and understand what he really need and what he does not need. Deal with how to counter back all this competitive friends that he has wisely!.

The other day during his birthday, I made a train birthday cake for him. Get both Aariz and Fawwaz to help decorate the cake....it’s a hard work for all of us. Come to the party pack, I don’t have time to go and buy a proper party bag. So end up I use the normal white zip lock bag so that nothing will spill out from the bag. Long after that only Aariz told me, his friend laugh at him over the party bag. As it is white zip lock bag compared to the normal fancy party bag that has cartoon on it. Then I ask him nicely, how about the cake ? I heard they are very pleased with the train cake that I made. The he replied excitedly, yes they are. Everybody says whoaaaa. And they don’t like your party pack at all?? I asked. Quickly he replied... No ma they like the content , they are milo ..they love milo. Everyone does. They love the chocolate and the biscuits too. In a very excited tone. I told him that see, that is just a plastic bag...what importance is the cake and the content right. Do you really keep the party bag when you get one? No ma.. he replied. But did everyone have fun ? YES!!! He claimed!

I think we all have been through or maybe still in the material competition from one to another. Be it from a small little things like hand phone, watches, clothing, to a bigger one like house, car and many more. Some time when we are busy to compete and busy to look what other people have that we don’t have, we forgot to first appreciate what we really have and really need. And second false into the trap of debt. Until too late that we realize, we are already in a really deep shit.

When I was small I false into that trap too. Not so much when I’m in primary school as in kampong school I seems to have more than others. But in secondary school I start to feel the pinch. They are time when all my colleague start to wear branded watches like Swatch and Guess...and they have many of it. I just have one. When they have all the latest gadget, hand phone and stuff I don’t have any. Then I start to divert my need in material to something else. Going for social activities like joining all other society or club in school. I am good at it and I enjoy my secondary school much that I don’t feel the need to be competitive in term of material.

I grow up that way and still be that way. Rich people doesn’t amaze me. I don’t give a damn about status. I feel best about myself...and as I grow I get things that I want and I afford. No pressure on that!. The best part is, when you finally get what you deserve, the satisfaction is yours!

That is the element that I want to get my kids to understand. I want them to know getting money is not easy. It is a hardship that they have to earn. Hence appreciate whatever that they have. Things are still good, use it first. I want them to be competitive in learning, so I reward them. Not in material but with love and time spend as a family. I want them to feel about the poor and note how lucky they are, so that they know where they are standing and how fortunate they are. Money / material will not give them happiness in life. They are just a tool for us to live our life..

Back to both my little kenits. So far they are still learning and they are learning pretty well. Even at his age they knows how to switch off light and fan when not in use. Finish the drinks and if not, keep it in the fridge so that later they can finish it up. They are a lot more to learn but we will keep it phase by phase. It is very interesting part of my life watching them grown. And it is my honour to be part of their life. Thank you God for lending both of them to me.

Free Review : Hard Rock Hotel Penang

2010-05-04T15:59:00.001+08:00

Hujung minggu lepas kami sekeluarga bercuti di Hard Rock Hotel Penang. Wah sgt seronok. Saya memang suka pergi cuti-cuti dan berada dalam perjalanan menaiki kereta utk jarak jauh. Pada saya baru la berbaloi beli kereta dah bayar mahal2 bila digunakan sepenuhnya. Betul tak ??

Sebenarnya bukan itu sahaja alasannya. Saya mmg suke duduk dalam kereta lama2. Dapat spend quality time dengan husband dan anak2. Bayangkan duduk lama2 dalam tempat yang terhad ....nak tak nak kena la kita melayan sesame sendiri kan!. Dalam masa yg sama dapat menikmati keindahan alam dan tengok2 tempat org. Mmg syok!

Daftar masuk di Hard Rock Hotel Penang around 3 pm. Kami duduk di Deluxe Sea View Room. Bilik spacious and cukup la untuk kami anak beranak berguling2 dalam bilik! Yg menariknya dia sini adalah kolam renangnya. Walaupun nampak kecik tapi besar sebenarnya. Section kanak2 adalah besar dah budak2 sgt la happynya bermain di kolam renang. Bila saya kata besar…sungguh ! Section kanak2 sgt la besar !. Dia ada section air cetek dan berpasir. Jadi pada anak2 bandar yg manja dan mengada2 tak nak pergi ke tepi laut bermain pasir. Ada kawasan berpasir dia section kolam renang kanak2 utk mereka bermain. Airnya cetek dan baby2 pun boleh dilepaskan disini. Section kanak2 yg lain ada pelbagai permainan air, water slides dan sgt2 la menarik. Saya pun lupa daratan main sama. Bila suami saya mencuba water slide…katanya berbanding org lain yg menggelungsur licin turun kebawah…dia tersekat2 di tengah2…(hi tak sedar2 diri ke kena kuruskan badan sket haha)…sampaikan org yg tengok pun tersengih2…malu katenya haha.

Anak2 saya mestilah tak melepaskan peluang ini…sampai hitam legam la mereka jadinya bermain di dalam kolam renang. Pagi pun turun petang pun turun. Nasib baik duduk 3 hari 2 malam sahaja.

Selain daripada kolam renang, saya sgt2 berpuas hati dengan live band performancenya disini. Wah jauh lebih baik dari yg di Bali. Sambil menikmati live band dan tgk makcik2 berjoget dan cube menarik saya utk berjoget sama…..(mestila saya tak nak kan sebab saya mana pandai berjoget) anak2 saya sekali lagi mengambil kesempatan menujukkan skill berjogetnya. Aiseh ….mak bapak malu2 kucing dan ayam…anak2 plak sebok nak berjoget…kan main lagi lah !.

Servis2 lain yg kami cube adalah hair wash...yer dia ada hair saloon dan makcik yg wash my hair tu sgt la friendlynya. Sambil basuh2 rambut saya sambil berbual issue2 semasa yg tak kurang menariknya..di blow kan rambut saya jadi cantik secantiknya dan kerana asyik berbual, ada la 2 jam setengah saya disitu. Wah sungguh berbaloi baloi. Owh anak2 saya dan bapanya enjoy di kolam renang lah macam biasa.

Tak lupe adalah servis spa. Wah saya kan hantu spa. Mestila cube....suami saya pun kalau pegi cuti2 Malaysia ni dia pun sibuk nak berspa sama. Jadi kami book spa utk 2 jam dan anak2 ditinggalkan di mana ya? Owh jgn bimbang...mereka ada servis menjaga anak2 di Little Rock Club. Di jaga oleh awek2 cun 3 orang....Kalau kan bukan anak2 bujang saya yg kemain gatalnya tu tak gembira ditinggalkan di sana. Menurut laporan masa kami amik mereka, semua baik2 belaka dan mendengar kata. Yerla kalau awek cun mestila dengar kata kan! Haish!. Bagi kanak2 4 tahun dan keatas boleh ditinggalkan di Little Rock Club dan dijaga oleh kakak penjaga yg manis secara percuma ya. Banyak aktiviti2 menarik disediakan sepanjang hari untuk memastikan anak anda tidak jemu. Mcm anak saya....gembira mendecorate pastry, bermain di kolam renang (again) makan pizza dan sebagainya.

Apa comment saya utk spa service. Biasa aje….standard spa hotel2 biasa lah saya rasa…di picit2 badan sket2 di facial muke sket2 mcm tu lah kan!. Tapi kalau dah hantu spa mcm saya …bedal ajekla mcm mana pun.

Mesti ada yg tertanya2 pasal breakfastnya...pada saya again..biasa sahaja lah. Kalau anda pernah duduk di Parkroyal Penang...fuhhh jauh la perbezaanya. Selepas di korek2 dengan kakak2 spa tu (saya kan kuat gossip)…tau lah kami yg chef2 di Parkroyal tu dah ada experience bertahun dan di Hard Rock baru setahun jagung. Kalau anda kemaruk nak breakfast best2 …di sini bukan la tempatnya. Saya mungkin mmg bias kalau dalam hal makan2 ni. Sebab saya tau nak makan sedap jek :p

Tapi mestila saya tak disappointed walaupun breakfast tak best mana. Kata duduk Penang kan. Kalau tak makan dekat hawker stall dia mmg tak la rugi kan. Katala kalau dah makan breakfast sedap2 sampai kembung perut...Camne nak makan lunch yg sedap2. Maka kami pun makan la di Nasi Kandar Line Clear....yum yum....nasi campur depan masjid terapung tu pun sgt sedap..pergi kat Kedai Lat....nasi campur biasa aje tapi mmg kick la. Kami cari Mee Udang Ayu sampai ke Teluk apa ntah ...nnt la saya update mana nak makan sedap ni. Char Kuew Teow yg basah mcm biasa kat Gurney Drive..sekali dengan pasemboq dia...wuih kecur2 air liur cerita kat sini lah. Tapi itu jek la yg kami sempat nak cube pun. Ikan bakar ke or Naan di Kapitan kami tak sempat nak cube. Yerla kalau ikut list yg kat atas tu pun dah kembung2 perut2 dibuatnya. Lain kali kalau di pk kan pasal makan jek…Mau kami duduk seminggu di Penang. Mana kami tau mana nak makan sedap di Penang? Sebab tu la saya pergi spa…sambil picit2 korek2 la mana makan sedap. Mcm2 list yg keluar.

Hehe ok la….panjang pulak saya melalut2...Nak gambar ? ALahai gambar dalam kamera suami saya la...Nnt kalau ada masa saya update la yer! byeeee

Kampong Girl - part 1

2010-04-29T22:00:00.002+08:00

While blog hopping from one to another, I stumble to this one entry. That has an interesting statement . “You can get the girl out of the kampong but not let the kampong out from the girl”. That statement make me wonder enough to make this entry. As I keep on smiling to myself, I start to reflect on my own life.

You see long time ago when my parents got married, they decided to stay in a village rather than staying in the big city. While almost all his friend buy their properties in KL, Subang and other area, my parents bought a land in village a little bit further up from Klang. They build their house over there.

Both my parents came from not a very wealthy family. At least for my father....when he was six years old he already been thought on how to sell kuih from one house to another. He was thought to identify 5 cents looks like and how to calculate. How far he has to sell and how hot the weather are. He keep on telling the story to us when we were small. At that time, we felt nothing except just a repeated story day by day. But now if I recall the story, a full stream of tears will fall down from my eyes...Imagine my sweet little boys have to endure all that. Now I understand how lucky I am and how lucky my kids are. As what my father keep on telling me.

When they first build their house, it was small with two room. Both of my parents are civil government workers. Lucky enough that my father job promotion are base on exam. His first salary was 70 ringgit stgh ( he always tell us the exact amount, but I am sanguine, how can I remember) and goes up to a 5 figure salary when he was around 40s. That was when I’m in secondary school. So you see ... life become better for us. The house with 2 room has expand to a double story bungalow with 6 rooms. But it is still a kampong house. No fancy marble floor or fancy finishing. It is just spacious.

I always thought my father’s house spacious even when I was small. We get to play around the house...and kebun. My dad love his kebun so much. I still remember when we were small we always follow him to our backyard which is a half acre kebun and help him to plant, cleaning and our most favourites...bakar sampah. Which kid doesn’t like to play bakar2 right? Then we learn how to ride bicycle. And of I went to cycle around the kampong, till one day I fell down and broke my teeth...lesson learnt for not listening to my parents!

From the kebun we get to eat durian, pulasan, rambutan, maggis, rambai...you name it! I see how papaya, banana, durian and all other stuff around me grow. I get to know many2 insects...though I am not a fan of any of it. See my neighbour tangkap ayam for hari raya and also how they sembelih and process the chicken. A lot more if I were to list it down here.

Oh ya, living in kampong also mean you have many friends. Is all around you...no restriction...no competition. We play sincere, no bragging no nothing as we afford to have more or less a similar thing around us. My best friend at that time, just live across the road..yeah..cik puan daun.
We went to mengaji at night together with his brother and few other at one of our neighbour house. They thought us every night after Maghrib. At that time, no street light. It was very dark...One night after our usual mengaji, we went back on foot. From far we can see a dark shadow ...and it’s coming nearer and nearer. We already holding each other hand...maybe around five of us. Reciting Al-Fatihah loudly....and start shaking as well. Suddenly a loud voice said”hoiiiiii buat apa tu !!!!” I think we all scream our lung out....That was my dad haha... (syura ko jgn gelak guling2..kau pun dalam ini filem).

I get to learn how to ride motorcycle at the age of 11. Some time I ride my motorcycle to school and leave it at some shop near the school. I am not sure if my parents are aware about this :D. They are one time, cik puan daun and I took a ride to somewhere else rather than just helping her mom to buy some groceries from nearby shop. Well again, for not listening and lying to our parents, we almost went into the big drain!!!! Half of my motorcycle is already going into the drain....Luckily I get to brake and syura slowly pull the motorcycle back on the road!. That is one of our biggest secret that time.

We join Scout during our primary. It was fun as we are in kampong. We cycle cross the palm tree on a small titi to reach a nice small river to get our cycling batch. We camp in front of the school with my mom bring my bantal busuk and comforter to my tent! Haih. We cook, real food for our cooking batch. We go cari kayu....really cari kayu to make a fire for our cooking day. Those were the sweetest memories when I were small.

Come secondary school, my father send me to a girl school in Klang. His intention is for me to get some exposure. Well true enough, from kampong girl to the city....makcik jakun. I think I almost messed up there...but as my father are very strict and I stayed far from the city, I get myself straight dan taklah hanyut dalam kesesatan. Being a teenage I always ask my dad on why he stays back in kampong. Why not we move to somewhere in the city. All the hormone raging as a teenager. Little that I know what are the impact of being a kampong girl has to do with me. (to be continue)

About Aariz

2010-04-27T09:51:00.002+08:00

The price of smiling all the way to the office is indeed priceless.

This morning I had breakfast with my kids. With all their antiques we manage to get ready by 8.00 am and off we go to send them to school. Fawwaz always like to seat next to the driver seat, while Aariz will seats behind. Today when both of them are trying to get my attention telling a different kind of stories while waiting for the traffic light to turn green...Fawwaz and I were both playing with our hand pushing up and down and hit Aariz hand. Repeated several time and Aariz were just staring at me and Fawwaz with his sheepish smile. Then all of sudden he said hey...stop hitting me..Oops ! hehe mama and Fawwaz unconsciously hit his hand (but of course not too hard) and we both (mama and Fawwaz) are laughing out loud. The moment were just funny and we all ended up laughing and smiling all the way to the kindy.

Aariz now has learn the ability joining the dots. Trying to make sense or to make a process from whatever scenario that happened around him. For example, the other night I ask him on his activity for the day as usual. Since the grandparents just came back from their 2 weeks holiday, Aariz just continue his tuition and iqra’ class for the day. So he told me that her ustazah and teacher ask her where has he been for the past 2 weeks. So he explain to them. Next he said, ma...we should always recites Quran. I asked him why ? Then he said so that we can always connect to GOD. I said that is true...who told you that ?. Then he replied again, I figure it out la ma...

Conversation continue, he ask me I know how to read Quran. I told him Quran is in Arabic and he need to learn Arabic to understand the Quran (yeah I know he can also read the translation but I just want to make a conversation with him ). Then he started to ask about what is Arabic where I give him an example about the language. Malay is a language, English is a language where I do understand the language, then we have Mandarin and Tamil, where you Chinese and Indian friend mother tongue language. As he get more interested with the language then he ask how come they are Chinese in Malaysia not China? Which I explain about long time ago when their ancestor come to Malaysia and live in Malaysia...same to the Indian and some of the Malays that came all the way from Indonesia like his great grandfather. We ended up the conversation by him saying this...So ma...long time ago they came to Malaysia get married they have son and the son get married and then have son again then the son get married and have son again and again then I get my Chinese friend ke ma? I then replied...yer la sayang betul la tu hehe.

It is just amuse me on the conversation that we have every day. He can just spill out whatever running on his mind and trying to make sense out of it. Love them to the bits! Well now Cik Puan Kartini...get back to work

Brain and Heart

2010-04-26T18:20:00.000+08:00

At time I always think how some people can be happy and calm during the trying time. Some says try to love what you do, some says don’t focus what you dislike. Some have to keep on going as they are no other ways for not to keep on doing what you are doing. Many people has many to says. And this is what I have to say.

God give us chance to live once in a lifetime. HE gave us path to choose what we want to choose. HE never choose the path for us. We choose ourselves.

In life things will not always goes your ways. Hence the reasons GOD give you brain, like what I keep on telling my kids. And also heart to feels whether is it right or wrong, to balance with your logical thinking and what you feel most that you want to achieve.

In between that the chance to live once in a lifetime with some obstacle in your life where things will never always goes your way, we have to be smart. Smart in sense of what is the best decisions that we have to do at times, considering all other options and other people that might be effected with our decisions. Will it be the best decisions for only yourself or will it also benefit others. It might be easier to make decisions when we are alone, by ourselves, as the only person that we should think of is just you. Things get complicated when it starts to involve other people, parents, if you are married then husband, next the kids and the list can goes on. BUT the best decisions to be made of course when we are not selfish, when we don’t just think about ourselves!

So I leave it to you and of course to me to use the brain that GOD has given and heart to feel what is best for coming days.

Change

2010-04-26T14:40:00.000+08:00

Everybody need a change in their life. I need one too!

Birthday present

2010-04-25T10:11:00.002+08:00

We bought Aariz a desktop as his birthday presents. Both Aariz and Fawwaz are excited with this new desktop that they deem as theirs! Which is true. Guess looking at their parents having laptop make them feel honored to have their own.

For us every purchase need to have a justification. Esp a big purchase like this. Since Aariz already showing interest in computer we just think hey why not he just have one. Gaming is not one of the major reasons why we bought him this but we were thinking of more on familiarizing him with computer and maybe learn a thing or two from his geek dad.

We will see how it goes from here...if learning computer can really be a learning for him.

Looking from the other side dad is having fun as well configuring, rewiring, rearrange all his computer and geek stuff around the house. Our second common area (second floor) is now being utilized as geek lepak area haha! Little bit more effort to really furnish this house to become as cozy as per my liking ;)

For mom...with the big screen 23 inch monitor what you think I am up too :o

Surfing handbag and feasting my eyes haha! Now I can see all the bags clearly than ever. Heaven for mom too :)

The trip to Kuala Gandah

2010-04-23T09:19:00.010+08:00

Lately I've been looking my life and my country from a different perspective. Not sure it's about the age or my hormone but yeah something has just gotten into me.

It's started with our trip to Mentakab last 2 weeks to visit cute little new born named Faheem. So cute that I want a new baby now! hehe...OK to get a new baby need to work on it..so hubby please take note :p. Anyway we were told about an activity that we can actually do in Kuala Gandah which is pretty near from Mentakab. Go to Elephant Sanctuary ...wow never cross my mind to find elephants in our own country..(of course we have them in our jungle). But sometimes we are too focus to find something from another country and forget what we have in our own beautiful country. Well see what we found ;)

We headed straight to Kuala Gandah and reach there around 3pm. Suppose if you reach earlier you can prob grab a FREE ticket, I repeat a FREE!!! ticket to ride the elephant and bath with the elephant! How interesting is that...The show start at 2pm everyday and only 100 ticket produce everyday for you to participate. But nevermind if you missed that out as you can still see the elephants and perhaps feed them like what we did.

My kids are very passionate in feeding the animals. I think in general kids just loves animal. We bought some peanuts (cost around RM3 I think) and they have a blast feeding the elephants. According to the worker there, all these elephants were saved from the villages either they were hurt bitten by tiger or left by their herd. So the sanctuary is really a sanctuary for the elephants.
Of course for us being in environment that try to improve almost everything has came out with lot's of idea and suggestion on how we can improve the place. But we just come to our sense that well maybe just enjoy what we can and leave things as it is hehe. At least something is being done and we definitely enjoy it.

Near to the Elephant Sanctuary they are another place called Deer Land. This one is a private one small animal farm and the entry rate is RM6 per adult and RM3 per child. Inside we are given chance to feed the deer and you can see how thrilled the kids are...including hubby. After feeding the deer we can actually go into the cage and have up close and personal momment with them and feed them again. Pretty interesting...We get to see many2 type of birds...peacock, wild cat, ular sawa, monkeys (yg ni si kenit2 tak heran) and also sun bear. Some of them are not really in the cage and we can actually touch them, like the ular sawa and the sun bear.
Can you spot the ular sawa from here?
Fawwaz is terrified with the snakes hehe...
The sunbear above was saved from Jerantut Pahang. I find it's interesting to know that almost all the animals is from Malaysia and the story about how they being saved and where are they coming from sounds very homely to me.

All in all is a great trip. We enjoy it so much. Week after the Kuala Gandah trip we went to Lata Kijang just to mandi air terjun. Well that is another story to share next time but we are sure that we going to start visiting all other interesting place around Malaysia and to have fun Malaysian style :)

He turned six!

2010-04-15T08:06:00.005+08:00

My anak bujang is six today !!!

How time flies. When I look at him I no longer sees a cute chubby little baby. But instead a grown up little boy that is very independent. He eats, he drinks, he helps people around I am very proud of him.

We throw a small birthday party for him 2 weeks ago at my sis in law house. His favourite cousins born in April as well and just to save time and of course money, we decided to do theirs at one go! Last year we did it at my parents house and this year we swap.

Kids nowdays are spoiled with party and gifts. I'm partly to be blame on and I start to think and decide that we should just have a moderate party with small group of people just for the sake of fun for it. But poor little Fawwaz as he haven't had any big party for him yet as his birthday always falls on Ramadhan. Will see how it goes...it's too tempting to host a makan2 for me :)

Well back to Aariz, since today is the day he were born I decided to bake a cake instead of buying one for him. Skill baking agak berkarat lately and true enough the cake doesn't turn out as nice as I expected. I make a choo choo train cake for my little dearie. Too lazy (actualy too busy with office work pun) to decorate the cake with icing around the empty space so I ask hubby to print his birthday banner that he has during the party at my in law house and stick it there...Keji tak hehe.

Aariz helped out a little which explain why there are smudges here and there...Though he is not that thrilled to see the end result as he did mention that his cake is small and comot!! (huk huk sedih mama dia tau) but he is one happy boy. One thing that I like abt his kindergarten is that the teacher only allow to bring only cake and also party pack for his classmate only. The party pack will be given after school. This is to avoid kid's comparing to each others. Sigh kids these days...

So to my dear Aariz. I love you so much ! It's great to have you around and I will never be tired to answer all your 1001 questions and curiosity.

Happy Birthday!

Sehati Sejiwa

2010-04-13T22:02:00.002+08:00

You know what they said about sehati sejiwa...

Is when hubby busy getting the kids ready and I am still on my bed, and when I am getting ready and hubby is waiting .... then we realize that we are sedondon.

It happens so many time since we first got married. Well we are not the type yg suke nak match2 colour baju but it just happened. And most of the time it's happen when we are going to the office.

Sehati sejiwa ..no?

About the illusions

2010-04-09T09:23:00.003+08:00

As we grow older we heard a lot of interesting success stories and not so success stories. It's a favourite subject between Hubby and I to talk about life in many perpective. We can discuss this for hours, going on and on about how and why people are success in life, why some people can't reach certain stage in their life, why they are people not happy in their life, what are the measure of a succefull life and happiness and the list can go on.

One thing that strike me a few days ago is the conversation about why are 2 people who are deeply in love can be seperated especially when they are young children involve. How people can fall in love with someone else after you take the vow with your wife/husband, make babies, had babies, go through the hardship together and change your mind later ? Why some people after a few years of marriage decided that his man/woman are no longer their soulmate? It is interesting to see that they are a few cases happening around me. Not that I am a close friend to any of them ...but hurm just make me wonder.

I had this discussion with hubby about this, that lead us to another discussion. Illusions of other people's life. In this current world people are so materialistic. Money and beauty is the King. We have been filled with series of drama and film about life that is sometimes not realistic at all!. Person A(F) can fall in love with person B(M) then next decided that it is just a fling then move on to person C(M). Person C(M) is actually ex to person D(F) that now fall in love with person B(M). Well if life is just that simple...God knows what would happend to our family institution and to our next generation. Well don't start about the illusions about people who lives in the mansions, having all the time to party, to shop whatever they want to buy and seems that work so little!. In my real life...that is not so true.

Those drama's that we watch amazingly being followed by some of us. The illusions of having things without working on it. What we do, we swipe on credit card. We do personal loan, we mortgage ...we do 1001 things without realizing the impact on the long run. Well guys and girls, that's for me dalam bahasa melayu is gali kubur sendiri lah.

Life in real life is not that simple. Is a roller coaster ride where they are up and down. You have to be smart and not to be fool by others. You spend below your means and save up the others. One thing for sure we are not getting any younger but older. Some might interpret that we are young just once and make full out of it. Money you spend you can always earn back...but how true is that ?

Hence back to my earlier point about how 2 people in love can hate each other. We conclude that for ourselves we both have our up and down in our marriage. Taufan, ribut petir...we had that too. When into that situation, one of us will take a step back until one of us come to our sense. We sometimes falls into that illusions of others to look sleek and glamorous,...but either him or me will wake up from the dream and said hey the reality is, we are not there yet. Take one step at a time. We know our financial situation, not just one party does it all. That makes us understand our limits better and how far we can go. Sharing is caring...yes we share almost everything. Some girly stuff that I don't share with him but I share with others...he will know who I share with and who are my friends. Some serious office stuff and career progression that I am not interested to know the details, he has his own friends to talk with and I know who they are. We share our loads and we accept each other weakness. Well it took 5 years I guess for us to accept each other weakness and we are still learning.

We sometimes felt that we are old fashioned. Indeed we are as we hardly do any hanky panky things anymore. He loves his job, and I love my family. Most of our time besides working day is spending time with each other, the kids, family members and some close friends.

At the end of the conversation, we had a long pause....each of us melayan perasaan, while the kids are sleeping at the back. Then I told him, though he might not be the knight of shining amor (as what I read in those romantic novel or those hunks -ryan reynolds in those romantic movies that I watch) but he is my soulmate. Who am I to find a perfect person without me being perfect either ?

Being grateful

2010-03-31T09:40:00.004+08:00

No doubt that I am busy. So do hubby. We multi task and we work together to make sure the house chores and the kids are being managed properly..like how we manage or work.

One thing I realize lately the kids are also behave and responding well to us. Not that they don't act or do any drama but they become very reasonable. They wake up early and after shower they will give us a big smile. Ask for breakfast...finish their breakfast and get ready to school. In between sometime they will try to drag me late by trying to play with me...or being a little bit difficult by taking their own sweet time to prepare for school but other than that...it was fantastic.

I like to think that mainly is because we start to become reasonble to. Listen to them well, and communicate to them nicely and wisely. Though the problem with the kids...when you become too nice to them...then they start to take advantage. If that happen I will put my monster hat :p. Then they will behave for a while ;)

Well anyway, I am just glad and fortunate that even with this busy schedule of mine. I still have everything that anyone could wish for. A loving husband, happy-healthy-brilliant kids that always make me smile and my family plus in laws ... that support my life and my family. Grateful I am.

A child conversation

2010-03-28T10:57:00.005+08:00

Lately my weekend has been a family gathering activities. Tiring but it's fun to have all the updates from everyone.

Anyway last night we had a BBQ at my bro in law house. So as usual the kids were running around the house...They had fun as usual since their age are all about the same. While us the adults borak and lepaking at the backyard.

What I want to share here is about the conversation that my sis in law overheard. It's between Aariz and his cousin Aqil. While we the adults having a goofy conversation, the kids are having a more serious one...It goes more or less like this:

Aariz : Aqil what you want to give your wife later when you get married ? Do you want to give her a ring or bracelet ? (Guess he saw my passion on jeweleries and how hubby keep on giving in to make me happy ;p)

Aqil : (pause a while). I am not going to get married... I just want to build a house...a big house at the hill next to the beach. But I am not going to be alone because I will invite all of you to come over to my house later. (His father always work offshore and I figure at his age maybe he thinks girls are just annoying haha)

Aariz : OK never mind...I'll come over to your house with my wife later...

We all find it interesting and amusing as this is conversation between a 6 years old and 9 years old child. So then the next day I ask Aariz about his conversation....

Mama : Aariz have you found your wife yet....

Aariz : Hurm...not yet...(he gave a pause)...Ehh I have!!...It's Aishah..

Mama : You sure it's going to be Aishah ?

Aariz : Yes I am sure...

Cik Puan Nazailin sila ambil perhatian hihi

The Proposals

2010-03-24T13:10:00.003+08:00

Being a mother, wife, daughter and worker well life never been so hectic. Hence the reasons why I didn't watch TV so much or had a time for Movie. However since my busy phase at work slowly goes down (I choose to do it slowly since the deadline is still far), I try to go home a little but early. And last night I get the chance to watch a movie - The Proposal.

Hubby were asking what movie is this about.. I just reply by saying...ala just like another romantic comedy moview. Well it is a romantic comedy movie but the storyline is quite interesting. We had a good laugh all the way except that they can probably work more on the ending. Is a bit hurm not as exciting as the first scene when Andrew work for Margaret and the when they fake their engagement and force Margaret to go to Alaska for Andrew's granny birthday party.

I still have the story in my mind till now...picturing Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) in that movie... handsome, sacarstic but yet very nurturing haha...dear mr hubby jgn muntah k ;)

Well I think that is my dose of endorphins for a day or two.

Lights

2010-03-23T12:50:00.002+08:00

Just had a lunch with my colleague and former unimate. Anything about charity and how to improve life will boost my innerself. So now they are some lights in my heart already.

Well give me an hour or two...maybe another day or two. Will start to actively update my blog again ;)

Dying

2010-03-22T11:16:00.002+08:00

Something is dying inside of me. I don't have any mood to update my blog lately. Please ...help :(

Mood mode?

2010-03-19T12:10:00.003+08:00

Update !
Baru jek cakap about the food then what do you know. My mom cook kerang rebus, ikan asam pedas, telur masak belacan, ayam kicap...and being me I cannot campur all lauk together so I had to take 4 serving of rice for lunch today to enjoy every dish. Ok half of my crankyness goes away right now.

I am not in the mood right now. Everything seems not fine to me. Cranky mode, unhappy and all the negative aura are just surrounded me.

Not sure if by going to buy a new curtain, a few new clothing will fix my mood currently.

Food currently doesn't appeal me that much. Usually it could help to bring some happiness in me but as of now...It doesn't.

Cranky me

Mind of a child

2010-03-11T17:42:00.000+08:00

Aariz has been questioning us about God and a lot of other thing for a while already. His recent one is in the morning while I’m preparing breakfast for them. It goes like this :

Aariz : Ma...Who God created first in the world ?
Mama : Adam
Aariz : Hurm bukan adam sebelah rumah kita kan...
Mama : Bukan lah....This is Nabi Adam...When God create Adam, he stays in heaven. Till he eat the forbidden fruits then God send him to this world.
Aariz : Why he eat the forbidden fruits ?
Mama : Shaitan la dah hasut dia....
Aariz : Why God created Shaitan to hasut us ???
Mama : Ermmmm ( I actually speechless dah kejap, then I continue, I know this is not the right answer) God give us brain to think right, to be bad or good guy...to listen or not to listen ...
Aariz : I think I am bad guy
Mama: Whyy??
Aariz : Cos I always bully Fawwaz....

Then he walk away....Hurm not sure if my explanation get into his head correctly :p

Law of attractions

2010-03-09T16:03:00.006+08:00

Very interesting... the more I think about becoming a philanthropist, the more opportunity came to me. The law of attractions might apply here. Which make me think hurm....maybe I should also keep on thinking and hoping that my husband earn a lot more so that I can concentrate on my passion ;)

Have you heard about law of attractions. They said law of attractions apply when you keep on thinking or keep on saying something that you want or you want to be and the thing will come to you. I would say it apply to me before I even read the book. It’s common sense I think. Of course I believe it should come with effort and also a lot of doa.

I’m not sure if I have written this before. I believe whatever we want in life God will definitely give us a chance to get it. Sometimes it is just in front of your eyes. Is either you take the opportunities or you ignore it. Most of us like to ignore the opportunities given. Reasons...very simple, you ignore as you don’t feel to work on it. Nothing false from the sky for you. If it happens, I am sure there is a catch.

Example, in my life I wish for so many things. Countless things that I think I blog about it so many times in my previous post. Most of the wish has been granted and of course a lot of
hardwork required too.

What I am trying to say is keep on dreaming be it, becoming a work from home mom or becoming a rich person. You can also can dream of opening your own business or becoming successful. The chances will be there. The price to pay for each chances is also there. The bigger our dream the more risk we are taking. Take your pick. I already have mine ! ;)

KL-JB-Singapore-KL

2010-03-08T19:02:00.006+08:00

I want to blog about my JB trip as I think is pretty important for me. Plus one small thing that I did which I am happy about it. Remember about the charity part that I blog earlier. Yes here is my first steps.

First we went early Friday morning, reach just before Jumaat and we settle at Thistle formerly known as Hyatt JB. I was thinking to blog about hotel review as lately we’ve been staying in several hotels but hurm naaaahhhh. Time is constraints for me now days.

We get the sea view....beautiful (except that I put my kids picture here instead;))

We went out in the evening around 5pm before the dinner and guess what....I had my dinner before the dinner ;). One could not resist the seafood at Stulang Laut and of course at our usual spot...Sayam. Though I have to admit that during my uni days I went here often with my bf back then and my husband always came with his friends...funny right. No picture as we both

busy stuffing ourselves with fried rice, fried prawn, daging masak merah and also otak2.

Then I went back and get ready for dinner. I was telling hubby the last time I went for a gala dinner without my partner (that time for comp sc students) he rob me away from my ex bf. So this time ...hurm I wonder...and of course he give me an annoying looks and just pretend as nothing happen :p

The dinner my attending were organize by my college where I stayed during my Uni days. Is the dinner for those who contribute the college and giving awards for those who deserve to receive it. Alumni were invited to share the joy and reminisce the old memories...Well after those year I did have some fun meeting my old JKP friends (Jawatankuasa Pelajar). Though I felt like sitting with a bunch of politician, talk softly and nicely hehe. Then I realize when I saw the picture of me...oh God ...I do gain weighttt!! See my arms...so big!

The next morning they organize a session, a talk between the alumni and the college council. One of my senior give a talk about his life in uni and how it helps after leaving university. And for myself I give them a talk about career. Since most of them are first and second year students so I reverse the content a little bit. Giving them some idea on what they should do now during the uni time to ensure they can prepare a nice resume to get their first job. It’s pretty interesting that the more I converse with hubby on the content earlier (of course I need to practice first) the more I know that we are where we are because we understand what we want to be. And that is the message that I give to my fellow junior in UTM. The crowd is not that big but I guess it’s a good start for me.

Helping others is my greatest passion and I actually just find the word for it. Becoming a philanthropist. The concept is to help others to fish but not giving the fish. Unlike charity where you actually finding the fund and giving it to the people in need. Philanthropist will help people to understand their needs and improve their life. So wish me luck to achieve what I dream for ;)

After the session they are some makan2 and mingling around. We stayed for a while then off we go to Singapore. Nothing to shout actually cos we are just visiting my uncle and aunty. My kids are very fond with my cousins over there so it has been a great treat for them. Stuffing ourselves with ice cream buffet in Swensens...then shopping for shoessssssss...I love Charles and Keith shoes. And we wrap up our trip with a cycling activities around East Coast Park.

Shoesssssssss

2010-03-04T23:54:00.004+08:00

I want to do a nice long blog posting on my trip to JB and Singapore but haven't had the time yet. So feast your eyes with the shoes picture hehe! For now...

Someone is enjoying the trip besides me hehe !

Weekend trip

2010-03-02T13:21:00.002+08:00

Macam2 nak update tapi gambar dekat camera husband plak.

Summarynya....

JB trips was good ;) sesi dinner yg byk update. sesi career talk yg penceramahnya plak yg syok sendiri hehe...reunion yg best

Singapore trip ... never miss mestila C&K shopping spree. Kasut dia murah tak tipu dari KL hehe. I bought 4 pair satu dah pakai hari ni....Pas tu we all naik basikal dekat East Coast Park. Mcm tak boleh naik basikal kat Malaysia ni ...but the kids enjoy it very much!.

Gambar we update later k.

Kije byk

Friends

2010-02-25T23:34:00.002+08:00

I have many friends...But they are a few that touch my heart. Some I might not keep in touch. Some I do. For this friends of mine ... I love them so much but I keep it in my heart. Not sure if they know...but they are just very few of them.

Friend from primary school. They should know who they are! We went cycling around the village, where nobody went there. We ride motorbike together and racing here and there. We do silly things together and we can accept each other sarcasm.

Friend from secondary, they are few that I admire and I love having them around. We fly out from our hostel and get a bus to KL. We went out for co curriculum but sneak out to one of our friend’s house. Spending the night in the dark when the whole peninsular having a blackout. We celebrate our final day of SPM by going out watching movie and being silly at Pizza Hut.

Friend from university, I made a lot of good friend...too many of them depending on which semester I am. We remains friends and I felt special meeting them on a special occasions.

True friends very hard to find. But I am bless to have many that I can rely on.

Though I wish that I can repeat those sweet memories that I have with my friends...especially those who are my true friends. I know that we all have to move on.

Love you all :p

Belog ni sebab saya tgh rindu kawan secondary school saya. Kawan primary school jgn jeles :D

From guccissima to cotton mania !

2010-02-22T22:58:00.004+08:00

Most of us have a dream to become a stay at home mom. One of my friend has move one step closer to her dream. She has open an online boutique selling a nice cotton range with attractive colours and reasonable price. Believe me I went over to her house last weekend and the cotton are smooth and soft that if you turn it into a dress or blouse, it may cost like a few hundred bucks from Zara and others.

So ladies...go and start shopping online at http://cottoncouture.blogspot.com/for your cotton.

You'll not regret it! ;) - Gambar ni is my cotton soon to be a nice dress ;)

Finally the wait...

2010-02-22T22:46:00.003+08:00

For those who ask... I finally bought as below. My sister went to London and she just sauk what ever she saw first and I have to settle with sukey medium tote in canvas with white handle. Masih drooling leather sukey in dark brown or off white but it's ok. It will always be next time kan sayang kan kan kan hehe.

Cupcakes project

2010-02-21T23:05:00.004+08:00

I think the blog dah bersawang sket.

So some update. During the weekend I have a task to deliver 200 cupcakes for my dear schoolmate wedding. She requested for orange and chocolate flavor. I manage to find a nice orange muffin recipe and alter the recipe a bit to give more orange taste. As for the choc muffin, it has been quite a challenge to do as most of the recipe that I get, it doesn't give me the choc taste that I am looking for. I experiment a few recipe and finally decided to alter 2 recipe into 1. And the verdict..is a yummylicious choc muffin as the output.

I manage to turn out 100 of the muffin into a nice cupcake with butter cream icing. Tho the icing is a bit sweet I am determine to make it better next time.

The muffin/cupcake project will never be a success with a help of my school friend Azma, my primary school teacher and of course my dear husband....They have assist me to complete the task within the time frame... Not bad for first timer right !

I know some of you will ask for the recipe but it's pretty late now...I promise I'll post the recipe later. As of now enjoy the picture ;)

Azab dunia

2010-02-18T13:02:00.001+08:00

Lepas abis jek azab keje anak2 demam...lepas anak2 demam mak demam...belum baik demam mak nak kena siapkan 200 cupcakes for my friend punya wedding...lepas tu kena siapkan presentation utk bebudak uni plak....wah wah ... mak pening

My hubby is a geek part 2

2010-02-11T22:58:00.004+08:00

Scene 1 :

Mama : Dear bile you nak drillkan gambar2 ni

Papa : OK OK nanti I buat (ulang tayang scene seminggu sekali. Lepas 6 bulan pindah rumah baru 6 gambar kena drill)

Scene 2 :

Mama : Dear bile nak betulkan sink bocor kat bilik bebudak tu

Papa : OK nnt weekend I buat (sampai hari ni tak buat2)

Scene 3 :

Papa : Dear I belikan you bb

Mama : (excited) Esok jek la you setupkan bb I dah lewat dah ni...jom tido

Papa : Takpe2 I nak transferkan data dari hp lama you..kejap jek...( dah sejam masih lagi godek2 benda tu. Tak tau sape yg excited...mama ke papa )